fasting

Hey, guys!

So.

Fasting.



So.


Basically.
I've been really really struggling lately with focusing my mind.
And getting some space.
I've just been kind of...okay, the best way to describe the feeling is full, but full of nothing, and I feel a need to get some space.
It would affect everything, from singing, to breathing, to being, to Thinking.
In one word, life.

And so.
Pisces mentioned something, this farm house, 2 hours south from Tallinn, and it's a fasting retreat.
Now then.
I've never ever been familiar with the idea of fasting nor have I been particularly positive about it.
But I think it was always because of the context of people saying "I won't eat 2 days out of the week to lose weight and get skinny" and that frankly gets me f_king aggressive.
But, you know me, guys. A retreat of meditation, quiet and peace and space for 5 days.
Yes, please, thanks.
And all of a sudden this idea of fasting didn't feel wrong or violent, it felt necessary.
Just truly necessary, like something I need.
Literally clear the system and clear my head and get some space inside, get some space to breathe, and get some space for something positive to have the place to come streaming in.



So I did some reading.
I know this is seen as something extreme and weird and you know, fill in the gap with any negative adjective.
But all I can give you is what I know.
So I did some reading.


During a "big clean" the body assesses what is necessary and what's not. Everything unnecessary will be released and the necessary remain.
Fasting quite literally gives your cells a restart. The toxins that gather in the system leave, and the cells get a fresh new GO.
It doesn't weaken the system - it strengthens it.
Immune system, nervous system.
More space on the "interal harddrive".
And in addition to new energy, and some serious "forza vitale", it clears your head.
It teaches patience and dedication.
Best done at spring.


And it is spring.
It's spring.
Outside, it is spring.
And I don't feel it!
I need to feel it's spring.
I need it to be spring inside.
I need to get new space, new air, I need to feel like something new is happening and growing, on the inside.

I need to feel potential, a potential for something wonderful to happen.
Oh Jesus mother of 7 heavens, I miss that feeling.
Just potential.
I don't want it start raining gold on my face, or win with some lottery or whatever.
I just want to feel the feeling of Potential.
A space, a potential for something wonderful to happen.


And so I'm going to the retreat.
I'm doing a spring clean, within myself, giving my digestive system a break, giving my cells a boost of energy, and most importantly I'm clearing my head.
Out out out out out out out with the old.
Refresh, reboot, reformat.

I'm going Wednesday to Sunday.
I'll take my books.
I'll take some crayons.
I'll meditate and draw and maybe sing.
And oh, there's a masseuse there.

Just, I'm not still water.
I need air, to breathe, space to think, room for new thoughts and room to let in my enthusiasm.


And of course, I'll tell you later how it was.


Peace out, and love to all of you.

Embrace the duality.
M.