little things

I found this thing on tumblr sometime in December.
It was just a really simple, nice little idea.
You take a jar, or whatever else you fancy and basically fill it with the nice things that happen.
So you write it down, fold it up, I add dates to mine and but it in the jar.
And then on New Years Eve, or I think the festive season in general would work for this, you empty your jar and go through all the amazing little things that happened and made you happy that you otherwise wouldn't remember.
I always remember the big stuff. It's what sticks. Not stuff like, on Monday I had really great ice-cream, which at the time would've made me super happy.

So I have started my jar.
And I can tell you, I've already forgotten some things that I've written down. And I can't wait to be reunited with them sometime in December.
Or earlier, if I really really really need it.

And I made soup yesterday.

Little things.
M.

post-singing idyll

Children will be children.
Concrete grey.


My writings back in the day, before The Big Move, were so angry. Quick-tempered. Maybe I've lost my balls of writing.
Or maybe I've just calmed down. Or maybe I've just learnt how to calm down.

I did something good today. Something good for myself, and something I should be proud of.
So this is my moment of Congratulations-Maria-well-done.

"USALDA END JUHUSELE JA VAATA, MIS SAAB"
Trust youself to chance, and see what happens.

In retrospective it is kind of funny how scared I was of going away. I read it on paper, but I can't remember the feeling. I remember the night 23 days and 6 years ago when for the first time I packed my big red suitcase that has now become one of the 5 constants in my life. I remember the night, I remember my cat, my dad with some Coronas and lime (well done, Father) and I remember some numb panic. But the run-up - it's just gone.
Trust yourself to chance.

I'm kind of sorry I deleted my really melancholic blog, pre-dating the 2005 one.
I'd like to read it like now. A diary of sorts of how it has all been, and how it has gone.

Drum and bass gave it clarity. A very singular meaning and a razorsharp focus. Which was really lacking. Just non-existent.
M. is for Mayhem.