Серге́й Васи́льевич Рахма́нинов

This day has just been "ugh"

It's been a fabulous-fabulous day really, from beginning to afternoon, then to the middle and the evening, to the very pleasant female-filled end.
Dad made some sweet food, then went and saw the fire-lights-candle-whatever show in one of the beautiful parks in Tallinn with some friends, and then ended up on M's sofa chatting, eating chocolate. I mean, sweet. A sweet day.
But there's still been so much "ugh" seeping out, from everywhere.

My head feels like Rachmaninov's 3rd piano concerto (which in itself is nothing new at all). No movements in particular, just all of it. From beginning to end. If by any chance anyone who will ever happen to read this will have listened to the whole thing, you can relate.
To those who haven't (and I recommend it soooo hard if you can stomach classical music, not all recordings are good though...), it is brilliant and great fun (if it can be called that), but it's intense. And somewhat, like, thick. Over-filled.
It is my absolute favourite piece of classical music or just music or anything ever, but I don't really fancy my own brain feeling like that, from cell to cell.

So that's where we're at.
I wish I had some aloe-vera juice which makes stuff so much better.
But I don't have any.

And I wish I would know a few things which I don't know at the moment, and can't really find out either.
Or maybe I could, but I'm just reluctant.

I want to game. My PS2 and Lara Croft would do.

And I want this flat so much I could actually weep. It is so perfect, for me. It's tiiiiiiiny. Tiny tiny tiny. But what else would I need? I only need a tiny amount of space.
And I don't want to post any pictures because that would only make it worse.
And I'd like to curl up there, in my one room of 26 sq m, and eat ice-cream. Estonian ice-cream. Jesus this is getting so so so
But I can't get it right now, and I really wish, really hope it will not be gone in a few months or so, when I could actually start looking at it properly, but. "ugh". You see? "ugh" crept in.

So.
I wrote a letter. Which in a perfect-hypothetical world would have a use. But in this one it doesn't.


There are so many good people, and I like that.
But I don't like unpredictable behaviour. I ♥ control, or whatever.
No, actually, I don't heart control. It's not control, it's just, with some things I prefer knowing where I stand.
The rest of it can go however it wants to go and three cheers and an absolute whatever to it.

Letters and Rachmaninov.
I ♥ my cat.
Head ööd.
M.