roads

So. 

This post is actually more about foundations than roads.

But I prefer it as the title.

So.

Foundations.

I was just thinking.

About preconceived ideas, about right and wrong, and all the shoulds and shouldnts.

And how terribly terribly hideous it is, to even think of building your foundations upon someone else's.

That would work like quicksand.

It comes to a point, or there should be a moment of realization, when a person understands that it's either themselves or nothing.

What I mean is - unless you get Yourself working, unless you commit and dedicate yourself to yourself, and face yourself as what you are, "nothing" follows.

What I mean by "nothing" is the void.

The convenient void in which so many people live their lives.

I'm not patronizing, or implying that I'm free of this, because I'm so not. 

But lately I've just really understood how take-no-prisoners it is - it really is yourself (balls to the wall fearlessness) or nothing (the numb void of structures created by someone other than yourself).

In between the two there's a million variables but in terms of attitude it honestly is This or That.

You can't be a tiny bit brave or somewhat partial to the mundane social constructs.

You either are or are not. 

Pick one. 

And then let it roll according to that.

I know what I'll decide, which I'll pick.

But I just have to do it.

Really do it.

And commit to myself tooth, claw and nail.

And not let it slip away into what someone else thinks or expects or wants.

Because that simply does not bring happiness.

And why waste this life we have. 

In other news, I'm going home today, from STHLM.

If I'm honest I'm not ready.

Or maybe I am. 

I don't really know.

It's rather - it's been super being here, to calm down.

But now I'd like to stay here for some more time and refocus my thoughts.

But hey.

It is what it is.

Home awaits.

And everything it holds.

Yours truly.

M.