fear

So, first of all.
Lately, in my life, I'm scared a lot.
Of everything.
Moving, not moving, singing, not singing, theatre, these school concerts, writing up some things, attention, heartbreak.
You name it, I'm scared of it.
I mean, at some point, I became terribly scared of my email inbox.
To the point of panic.

But then I realised.
This fear is not mine.
I've never known fear.
Really.
Like, really, truly, never known it.
I learnt it at some point in my life.
But it's not mine.

And now I've realised I don't like seeing fear, it makes me very .....annoyed.
Watching it. Witnessing it.
Watching people get frightened, over the things that should not warrant fear.

Let's differentiate between fear and fear.

The primal fear one would feel when faced with a giant bear monster thing, waiting to eat you?
Yes, fine. That can stay.

But the kind of fear, this helplessness in the face of something new?
No.

Also, let's just say. There are some people for whom either social situations or lighting a candle or going to the store or blah blah blah is very difficult.
But let's be very honest here.
For most of us, we have been taught to fear things.
To be helpless, and to feel scared, in the face of something new.

I saw that today in the face of my nephew.
This taught sense of helplessness.
It makes me so angry.

Because it hinders life.
Do more of what scares you.
Because chances are, this fear isn't yours.

It was given to you, like unnecessary legacy.
Yours truly.
M.