honestly, and gently

The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.

Pema Chodron

This quote is absolutely sublime.
The meaning, and the wording.
This quote is simply sublime.

And I absolutely agree with this.
More than I can possibly explain.

Lately there have been two kinds of people around me, with a very clear difference:
Those who are willing to do this, those who are not.
The first kind are currently excelling and moving forward with their lives.
The latter however are stuck, really stuck in past patterns, and honestly just really moving backwards.

And exactly this has also been the central point and meaning of all my wonderings/wanderings as well, for the past 6 months.
I had got to a point in my life where I was on auto-pilot.
So now the question is - if I look at myself "honestly and gently" - what kind of a life do I want to live?
And the second crucial question that goes hand in hand with this one is - what kind of a person do I want to be?

To answer both of these I'll definitely write more than this one post, but this serves as a beginning of deciding something.

Upwards, and onwards, and towards new goals and things.
To live the life I want, and need, and deserve.

AND ALSO, wherever you are in your life, take the time to be proud of yourself for how far you have come and what exactly you have accomplished, ESPECIALLY with the little things.
Not the home-job-man-woman-dog-whatever cycle.
That's super boring.
But the little things that no one else knows to be proud of, but you know.
You know, that those are really the things that matter. the. most.
They make you you and they are your true trophies and diplomas.
So pat yourself on the back, give yourself a high-five or a handshake.

Because that is the stuff that matters.

With love.
M.

this wolf thing

It has really stuck, you know.

And I quite like it.
Using a chosen totem animal, of sorts.
It's kinda weird that the idea of the wolf and I met. I never in a gazillion years would've chosen a wolf, or thought of a wolf.
But now the energy and the resilience it carries really seems to fit like a glove.
So I'm not saying that I'm now going to become a pack animal or a hermit or a whatever, it's just, it's nice to have a symbol. I like tattoos that are symbols, I like finding meaning and significance in things, so having an animal that for me symbolises something about myself is really great.

And again. There are charts with rough birth dates and Native American totem animals.
BUT. You can choose your own.
If there's an animal you have a very strong connection with (stronger than, "yeah, I like kittens") or the opposite - an animal you are afraid of - then there's probably something there.
And this is not about finding the space you fit into, but rather finding an animal that for some reason you share a similar energy with.

And I really like it.

Hooray for wolves.
M.