dialogue

I must have more dialogue with myself.
I cannot go on auto-pilot, this does not work and is eventually truly truly destructive, and therefore also very counter-productive.
I need to stay present and need to stay mindful.


Lessons in life.


Also.
Gratitude second.
I cannot believe that Life has been kind enough to send my teacher my way.
It's so bizarre how the destruction and creation came from the same source.
Mystical, I tell you.
Mystical.


Happy Friday, everyone.
I'm home for a sec and then off to Keiu's for a dinner party.
Which is just about the loveliest of all plans.


I cannot cross the line where my need for personal space becomes involuntary detachment.
Learn, child.
And be happy in this Universe.
Everything else is blindness and a waste.

Learning myself and learning my boundaries.
What an interesting ride.



Love, to all of you.
Yours truly, always.
M.

birthday 1/2

I started this post exactly a year ago when we celebrated my 24th birthday.
And I promised then to upload some photos of the celebrations, which I never did.

And since it's now been a year I feel it is entirely fitting to complete this.


So.
Happy birthday, to me, for last year!

Question.
What was I celebrating?
What does anyone ever celebrate?

I think I was celebrating Home.
Coming home, having done it, having lifted some part of something.
Some ..inescapable situation, or feeling.
I was celebrating, a victory of somekind.
And it was really worth celebrating.

This idea of celebrations is heavily on my mind since I simply cannot understand why I'm so not there with this one this year.
It's bizarre.
I've always been a huge huge huge fan of birthdays.
And now all of a sudden.

But I think I just really do feel in the middle of some processes, and it would be silly to claim any victories.
I'll claim them next year - and Jesus, will I have victories then.

 (PS. I don't want this to sound critical, as if I need to cut myself some slack. I am fully aware I've come so far, and some of the things are amazing already. Just when you have the steam, don't stop to admire the view. Use the steam. Heaven knows we don't always have it.)

Love to all of you.
M.

paradise lost

Pluto's Retrograde lasts till September.
Pluto's Retrograde lasts till September.
Pluto's Retrograde lasts till September.
Pluto's Retrograde lasts till September.
Pluto's Retrograde lasts till September.
Pluto's Retrograde lasts till September.

Mantra.

I must not forget this.
Because everything that's happening at the moment is absolutely and I mean ABSOLUTELY following this pattern.

Everything.

Like, e-v'ry-thing.

"The things that are not right simply will not remain in your life. The Universe will not give them the chance."

So they will simply

....disappear.
Into nothing.

And that is good, in the end.
Just bare with Pluto till it's finished doing its thing.

And so just let them go.
This is the physicalisation of my "don't play god" project.
Just let these things go. Don't fight the ebb and flow.
Because we don't know anything anyway.
Trust life, trust the Universe.
Don't play god.
It's cocky and stupid.

And even if it's the very-very things that we want to keep so much and just breathe them in and press them against our cheek and our body, so tight, we cannot.
We can't keep those things.
If they go, they go.

Universe knows better.

It really, truly does.

So may we have the faith and belief and trust to go with it.

Peace and love, kids, peace and love.
M.