advice

Okay, so, here's some advice that I will try and stick to till I die. Literally, die. End of my life.

Don't lose your balls. 

(I sincerely hope you understand that by "balls" I mean, character.)


No one is worth it.
No one.
Ever.
At times in our colourful lives we might think that some seemingly more wonderful individuals are worth us losing our balls and/or our spines, but truth is, they are not.
Like, really.
No, honestly. They are not.
Okay, you will for the time being misplace your balls, and pretend to be something else for someone else, but once you find your spine again, then what?

Cause the truth is, if someone won't like you, love you, respect you, or even give you their time with your balls attached, they won't like you later on once you reveal them. (I mean, "SURPRISE! I'm actually a very different kind of person." Really?)

So it is truly truly easier for everyone involved if me and you walk through life the way we are, balls, spines and all, using the language we like, being as gutsy as we like, head high and proud.
Because we can only hide and pretend for so long.

I'm not just talking theoretically, I've done this too many times. With previous relationships, and meeting random people, or just subtle changes to impress someone.
It's much better than it used to be, but still I will occasionally find myself literally, literally pretending to be like something else. Or like, acting like just, NOT ME. And I catch myself doing it and think - hang on, what in the name of sweet baby Jesus was that? This is not you. This is not your character. This is you shoving yourself into a tiny tiny box that you yourself have labelled "What I think other people want".
But here's a news flash - and this is very important - people will be interested in you. 
This is the scariest and the truest lesson.
(There isn't one universal Miss SuperFantastic out there that every one just faints at in trouser-dropping enthusiasm. People like different things. People differ. It's simple.)
And once we have the confidence to have faith in this one thing we will find the right people, who want to know us better, and let the wrong ones go and let them meet the people they want to meet.

Because if we don't value what we are, nobody on this sweet-ass planet ever will.

Hooray for the raw guts and character.
With love.
M.