me-platform

I follow this Estonian woman.
She writes about energies and such, but even if that kind of stuff is not your cup of tea her wisdom is so on point.

This week she was talking about something called the "ME-platform".

And she coins this as the core of this week.
This is funny because here I am, sat at home, and once again my relationship with the work things is so bad.
I'm so tired of talking about this!!
I bet you're tired of reading about it, AGAIN.
But hey, if it's a problem and it's not going away, I simply must discuss it.


So.
She was basically saying that this idea of the "ME-platform" is just You being You.
But standing on this thought, on that strength of being Yourself, like on a platform literally.
The steadiness.
The stability.
Using yourself as an infinite source for strength and inspiration.

She names Fear as the number1 thing that prevents people from wanting to find, and finding, and then being on their "ME-platform".
Fear of someone not understanding, not accepting, and you know, so forth.
She emphasises that in order for us to build a steady "US-platform" on which this world should stand, we need to have a very steady "ME-platform" and I feel this is something I really, really lack.

And this is so different from self-confidence.
Self-confidence is something you have, but this ME-platform is like, taking the self-confidence you feel, sticking it in some fertile soil, letting it take up roots, grow into a tree.
It's seedling vs. the tree.

So, what exactly am I doing in my life to further this steady, strong and amazing "ME-platform"?
What are the things I should do?
The choices and ideas and actions?
What do I need to change?

God, these are good questions.



She advises to take this week very slow - which I intend to do 112003030404000%.
Many percent.
To do one thing at a time.
Solve one question at a time.
Untie one knot, then another.
The bottomline is to create a stage where I don't want to live under a solitary rock, but rather a very steady ME-platform, where I sing, and share, and RECEIVE what's offered to me.
Where I get to do my art, and share it with people.

There isn't anything fun under a rock.



http://crystalralaksmi.com/eesti/blogi/



Love, always.M.

новый

NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW

This is the one pull that I feel most.
The call of New-ness.

nuovo
ny
neu
nouveau
UUS


I hear it all the time.

I get bored so easily.
And how ridiculous is it then to try and mimic someone's ideas.
Someone else's life.
Surely this just makes more boredom.

Always.
Always, just more boredom.
More boredom.
For life.

And this is not what I want.

Maybe that's why I like New Year's so much.
The idea of a NEW year.


Not to give any f*cks, but hear what I hear.
See what I see.
Do what I do.
Follow what I follow.


Here's the thunder.
With love.
M.


I'm thinking of a new photoshoot.

this week

This week has been super busy and the countdown to HONG KONG has now shrunk down to 10 days!

When did this happen!

I meet Asia, in less than 2 weeks.
What an absolutely strange concept.

I don't know why, but I stilllll cannot even begin to understand just HOW huge this adventure is going to be!
So strange!
I really want to start UNDERSTANDING this, noww!

(So sorry for the excessive caps-lock-ing.)

I mean, really.
Usually I'm almost climbing walls with all the excitement when A. and I take on Stockholm.
So now, when we're faced with her homeground HK, I'm like struck dumb.

Anyway.
This week has been super busy.
Got some nice work things done, and seen some lovely friends.
Last night went out for a little while and then another clothes sale today.

The rest of today was just for resting, on my ass, and mostly horizontal.
Tomorrow marks the all-systems-go moment, once more.
Before official nap-time it's most definitely a time to plan tomorrow.

So, for now, I hope you have a lovely evening.
And I have a feeling good things are coming our way.

With love, and light.
Yours truly.
M.


This was for an educational concert program we're doing this season - yet to see how many schools.
Fingers crossed!


The other day I was wearing this t-shirt E. got me for my 16th birthday.
It's says MARIAQ on the back, and on the front a tiny picture of my favourite energy drink back then.
(I used to get to school super early, and I didn't like coffee back then!)


Outdoor Swan Lake next to the Opera House, with 100 swans.


Sung a little at my old school's autumn concert in the Nokia concert hall in Tallinn.
That was a first for me so it was super exciting!
Loved the dressing room and ID-card.






Also, this week marked my return to the gym, YES.


Got this coat at this big vintage festival like a month ago.
And today it earnt me a most devoted 5-year-old admirer on the bus.
No, seriously.
I think he thought I was an actual cat.

the Great

A friend of mine told me this story today.

This is a story about Alexander the Great.

Before his death, Alexander the Great asked his friends to place him in his casket with his hands by his sides, but his palms open, facing up, bare and showing.
His friends were confused at his request and asked him why he wanted his hands to be so exposed.

To which Alexander replied: "My friends, people from around the world will travel to see me before I am buried. I want them all to see that this is the man who owns the world, and yet he leaves with two empty hands."

(PS, I don't care whether this is true or not. Do not care.)
My friend went on to say, that this is how it is. All of this is borrowed. Throughout our lives, the houses, the cars, the everything. It's all borrowed. Because at the end of it all, we give it all back and then leave with two empty hands.
Even the man who had the entire world at his feet.

So don't sign your life away for a job you don't like, or values that are not yours, or to a whole life-time of doing things that do nothing for your soul.
Because at the end of it all, you cannot take any of this with you.

So why spend a lifetime chasing someone else's unicorns.

Yours truly.
M.

doing

Seriously, this.

In order to BE, you must DO.
I must do.

Doing is the key.

Ideas are "it". You need to have them.
But then?
Ideas themselves are not the thing.
They need the meat. Give your ideas the meat.
The "doing".

Yours truly.
Back in the business.
M.

light

I passed you on a Sunday,
like I had countless
countless
countless times before.
I passed you where the walls melt,
and the daisies bend their heads.
I passed you in the sunshine,
almost touched your hand.
I passed you in the rain
and your light touched mine,
in all its glory
and the spectrum.
I passed you,
and I passed you again.

Drink it.
M.

sense

this makes the most sense
out of anything
ever

no knowledge is knowledge unless you make it yours
unless this means something to you it's useless
so even if someone you respect to the Moon and back says something and you simply don't agree with, you don't have to bend your mind to do that

if it matters to you, keep it.
if it makes sense to you, believe it.
if it makes you feel clarity, follow it.

it doesn't matter whether it's a system or whether you've borrowed bits and pieces from here and there - if it is something that makes you grounded and hopeful and excited, if this knowledge is yours, that is the only thing that matters.

Sense.
M.

what you imagine

What kind of a life did I imagine?
What if there was no fear?
What if I had no fear?

I mean, these questions are so interesting, I don't even know where to begin.

Lucky are those who dream a lot.
Because in dreams there are no boundaries and there is no fear.
We grow up with people giving us advice and warnings and cautionary tales and big bad wolves and the rest. So many limits, and so many boundaries.
Things you shouldn't do, words you mustn't say, ideas that won't get you anywhere.
And so on.
And so forth.

"Live the life you have imagined".
This life that sometimes shows itself in the deep deep warm darkness of your dreams. The one you don't ever voice because it's so secret and so precious, that merely talking about it might tarnish the purity of the divine dream.
The things you want, and need, and just thinking about it feels like drinking from the cup of unicorn paradise.
The dreams that sometimes get lost and also get forgotten.

Also.
Think of the word "imagine". Imagine the word "imagine".
It is just so huge, so huge and wonderful.
Imagining, and imagination.

I don't often entertain myself with thoughts like this.
Because I'm "rational", and "reasonable", and "logical", and I "listen to my head".
Whatever, blah, blah, blah.
Point is.
Dreaming is the steam and the fuel.
Fine, let's say you're clever enough to build a frikkin' train.
But if there's no juice in the tank, the train won't run, will it, smarty-pants?

So for all the glorious cleverness - I must dream.
And listen to the dreams I find.

And then, and only then, really truly live the life I have secretly imagined all along.

And be the person I have imagined I want to become.
M.

gypsy

I think in my heart I'm just a massive gypsy who is meant to sing and dance, drink wine, and travel the world.
This would also make sense in terms of my hatred for moving and getting settled in places. Travelling and roaming and adventuring, fine. So, so fine.
So I'm going to embrace my inner gypsy now, somehow.
I'll keep you posted, of course, as ever.

Run towards freedom as opposed to chasing all the restrictions and structures. And whatever, "proper" social conduct. Life's too short and the world's too colourful to be shoving yourself into the wrong shapes.

And besides, Maria is quite a good gypsy name as well, I think.

Cause I mean, why not, you know?
M.

(And I just really like Shakira.)

ldn

Last few snaps of LDN.

My old housemate's cat, Jarvis. Who's like my soulmate and the most chilled out cat, ever.
Some light on my street view.
The den that I built with help from AJ like a week ago. This goes with my strong strong belief that we must play more. This is not something that children do exclusively, everyone should do more of this.

And the last one, up in the air, LDN to TLN, 13-02-2013

Snaps.
M.

advice

Okay, so, here's some advice that I will try and stick to till I die. Literally, die. End of my life.

Don't lose your balls. 

(I sincerely hope you understand that by "balls" I mean, character.)


No one is worth it.
No one.
Ever.
At times in our colourful lives we might think that some seemingly more wonderful individuals are worth us losing our balls and/or our spines, but truth is, they are not.
Like, really.
No, honestly. They are not.
Okay, you will for the time being misplace your balls, and pretend to be something else for someone else, but once you find your spine again, then what?

Cause the truth is, if someone won't like you, love you, respect you, or even give you their time with your balls attached, they won't like you later on once you reveal them. (I mean, "SURPRISE! I'm actually a very different kind of person." Really?)

So it is truly truly easier for everyone involved if me and you walk through life the way we are, balls, spines and all, using the language we like, being as gutsy as we like, head high and proud.
Because we can only hide and pretend for so long.

I'm not just talking theoretically, I've done this too many times. With previous relationships, and meeting random people, or just subtle changes to impress someone.
It's much better than it used to be, but still I will occasionally find myself literally, literally pretending to be like something else. Or like, acting like just, NOT ME. And I catch myself doing it and think - hang on, what in the name of sweet baby Jesus was that? This is not you. This is not your character. This is you shoving yourself into a tiny tiny box that you yourself have labelled "What I think other people want".
But here's a news flash - and this is very important - people will be interested in you. 
This is the scariest and the truest lesson.
(There isn't one universal Miss SuperFantastic out there that every one just faints at in trouser-dropping enthusiasm. People like different things. People differ. It's simple.)
And once we have the confidence to have faith in this one thing we will find the right people, who want to know us better, and let the wrong ones go and let them meet the people they want to meet.

Because if we don't value what we are, nobody on this sweet-ass planet ever will.

Hooray for the raw guts and character.
With love.
M.

stories

Telling stories.

It's so important.
There's something so simple and so powerful at the same time about telling stories.
About deciding to share that little part of you or share that little bit of imagination, or fact, or whatever with someone else.
Deciding they are worth your special story, or deciding you like them enough to really tell them a story.
Or finding someone who respects you enough to really listen to your story.
So simple it's just crazy, so basic.
But in this basic-ness there's just something absolutely magical.
I don't trust people who underestimate telling stories, or listening to stories.
And I don't only mean fairytales. I mean, what happened to you yesterday, or something your little brother once did, or something your grandfather told you, or something you read, or some lyrics to your favourite song.
This sort of sharing, all of this, is storytelling.

And it is important.
I think that's why I like blogging. It doesn't have a word-limit, and I can just tell my stories.
And sometimes the stories are so good I have to re-tell them to my friends in person, message them, or anything. It's the easiest way of sharing and the easiest way to really get under someone's skin. Sharing your stories.
Your adventures
Your likes, and dislikes
Your favourite animals and colours
Your patterns and structures
Your dreams and schemes

Share.
It is scary but it makes life so much more fun. So much more excitement to find someone who is into the exact same dried autumnal leaf shape. Or like, someone who pairs their socks the same way. Or changes octaves when singing along to a song exactly when you do. Or someone who has the same favourite Monet. Or someone who folds their linen the same. Or someone who holds their fork the same way. Or someone who has the same dreams. Or laughs the same way.

Tell stories, because we base ourselves in this context. The giving storytellers give a little bit of themselves to each story and really root and ground themselves. It's nice to belong to stories because they can't shift and change. If you tell them, they are the way they are. The next one will be different.

So therefore.
Tell
dem
stories
M.