soft

Hello, my darlings.

This is a post about "soft".


Right.
I don't know about you but I grew up thinking "soft" will never ever get you anywhere at allll in this life.
And then I grew.
Just became more and more, cold and rigid, and tank-like.
And I used to love this.
The worse it got, the "better" I thought it all was.
Ooooooooohh, look at meee, I'm like a tank.

Lo-and-behold, I turned 23 or something and realised none of this - and I mean, NONE of this - works.
Nor does it have any logic.

Tank.
Seriously.
What.
Why would that be a good thing.
How can anyone make music like that?
How can anyone love or make love like that?
How can anyone make art, or something new?
How could anyone create like that?

One word: ice-queen.



And yes, la-la-la, "invincible and Strong" and whatever.
Point is.

It's actually a living breathing walking suicide. 

And it's so addictive, as is everything, let's be honest here.
You do something enough times and it becomes second nature.
Pretty simple.
Repetition is the root-mother of every thing.
SIMPLE AS.
You do something enough, and BAM! you think it's "my character".
I've done it enough times.

It's the rule that makes nature wonderful and terrifying.

So repeat the RIGHT things.
RIGHT FOR YOU.
F*CK someone else's "rights" and "wrongs".
Pick and choose what you want to be, pick and choose what you want to be seen as.
Make your life.
Make YOURSELF.

God.
This is super to myself.
Screw them all.
This is what I think.
All of them.
And just make YourSelf.
Pick the people, embrace and love and keep the people who let you be You, and just don't expect anything more or anything less.
Just You, the You-est you and the You of YOUR own choosing.
Not someone's cat or Jesus Christ's grandma.
Just YOU.

Enough with the ice queen tendencies now.
I don't like people like that, why should I ever try to BE it myself.

I am the dreamer, the soft ripe giving thing, like spring and wet soil, y'know?
Muddy, dirty, bloody, like gawddamn Mother Earth.
So why, again, my favourite question of all existence, why would I then turn into ice, which is by its very definition the opposite of wet, warm and fertile?

And if we want to talk about strength, then what is actually stronger than the earth, the basis on which all of this motherfrikkin circus is standing on anyway.

So seriously.
I need to stop this infantile ridiculousness.
And just become the person I want to be.
And kick ass like that.
I don't know why this is taking so long....but hey. Patience after-all.

Patience.
Keep muddy, keep warm and keep wet.
Peace out, darlings.

Yours truly.M.

START OF THE TOUR

Hello, awesome souls!
I hope you had a nice mid-week.

Today, it's official - I've started the summer tour.
We had our first gig, of 22.
It was outdoors, we had plenty of people, and it's a random Wednesday night.
It went so so well, the audience was absolutely a-mazing.



So currently I'm so grateful, at all of it.
Really, all of it.

And also, after I'd finished my first song, this super-lovely human being lady came to the stage, with this flower garland, and just put it on my head - with 100% consent, of course.

I would rate that as one of the best things to have happened to me during my singing/stage life, which is almost as long as my life on the whole, on this planet.
Just, the symbol of it.
Fertility, and abundance, and giving, and Mother Earth, and the fruitful season, and just OH MY GOD. So many things that are so important to me and so close to my heart.

It is the most perfect way to start the month and start this tour.
Start telling your stories and singing the songs.



And then there was a box of strawberries after the gig.
I don't usually like strawberries if I'm honest, but these ones were SO RIPE, and tasted just simple amazing, so I had about a thousand. Accompanied with the red/pink hands post-eating, with my garland.



I'm just getting some rest now and I plan to sleep completely alarm-free tonight.
Fresh peppermint tea, and Gordon Ramsay shouting at some people.

It's a good feeling, going to sleep, knowing that I have actually shared something tonight, and that other souls really received what we were doing tonight.
You can always tell.

Sing songs.
M.