soft

Hello, my darlings.

This is a post about "soft".


Right.
I don't know about you but I grew up thinking "soft" will never ever get you anywhere at allll in this life.
And then I grew.
Just became more and more, cold and rigid, and tank-like.
And I used to love this.
The worse it got, the "better" I thought it all was.
Ooooooooohh, look at meee, I'm like a tank.

Lo-and-behold, I turned 23 or something and realised none of this - and I mean, NONE of this - works.
Nor does it have any logic.

Tank.
Seriously.
What.
Why would that be a good thing.
How can anyone make music like that?
How can anyone love or make love like that?
How can anyone make art, or something new?
How could anyone create like that?

One word: ice-queen.



And yes, la-la-la, "invincible and Strong" and whatever.
Point is.

It's actually a living breathing walking suicide. 

And it's so addictive, as is everything, let's be honest here.
You do something enough times and it becomes second nature.
Pretty simple.
Repetition is the root-mother of every thing.
SIMPLE AS.
You do something enough, and BAM! you think it's "my character".
I've done it enough times.

It's the rule that makes nature wonderful and terrifying.

So repeat the RIGHT things.
RIGHT FOR YOU.
F*CK someone else's "rights" and "wrongs".
Pick and choose what you want to be, pick and choose what you want to be seen as.
Make your life.
Make YOURSELF.

God.
This is super to myself.
Screw them all.
This is what I think.
All of them.
And just make YourSelf.
Pick the people, embrace and love and keep the people who let you be You, and just don't expect anything more or anything less.
Just You, the You-est you and the You of YOUR own choosing.
Not someone's cat or Jesus Christ's grandma.
Just YOU.

Enough with the ice queen tendencies now.
I don't like people like that, why should I ever try to BE it myself.

I am the dreamer, the soft ripe giving thing, like spring and wet soil, y'know?
Muddy, dirty, bloody, like gawddamn Mother Earth.
So why, again, my favourite question of all existence, why would I then turn into ice, which is by its very definition the opposite of wet, warm and fertile?

And if we want to talk about strength, then what is actually stronger than the earth, the basis on which all of this motherfrikkin circus is standing on anyway.

So seriously.
I need to stop this infantile ridiculousness.
And just become the person I want to be.
And kick ass like that.
I don't know why this is taking so long....but hey. Patience after-all.

Patience.
Keep muddy, keep warm and keep wet.
Peace out, darlings.

Yours truly.M.

20,000

We passed 20,000 views as I was away!
I'm so pleased.

This has really been coming from last September when I started blogging much more.
So a year with you LOVELY people!
Thank you so so much, for dropping by and reading my ramblings.
Seriously, I kinda love you all for it.

I hope I still provide something good to read and you keep finding something interesting, and yourself, in the process of it all.





So.
This post about "See yourself succeed".

I've been going through some really stupidly tricky times, and today kind of ended up being the emotional culmination of it all.
But it's much better now, and after a long-long chat with A. and dad+Mrs I'm firmly back on planet Earth, roots, soil, and all.
And I'm feeling good.

I've also been given/given myself some homework.
And this time around the homework is "See myself succeed".

And I promise, I mean, I really promise you, I do not do enough of this.
So this is my homework.

Start seeing myself succeed.
Spend some time contemplating what I really desire.
And get some movement going.

Create your own magic.

With love.
M.

leave the world behind

This is what I want.
Out of life.
This is what I want out of my existence and time given on this awesome planet.
I want the miracle and wonder.
No steel, no concrete. I don't want the new and I don't want the shiny.
I want open spaces and freedom and love for everything.
I want a little boat and stormy seas.
And I want moss and rain and nature, because that is what Home is like.
I want to swim in cold seas and look at stars and whatever.
Just marvel.

I always get back to this -
I want to marvel.
And I want to share my life with those who want to marvel too.
It's not my job or duty to convince anyone at all that all of this is a miracle.

I want to get my feet wet, travel, and sing.

And I want to give myself what I want and work at living a life like this, with peace and balance and quiet and calm.
Because if we don't give ourselves what we deserve, no one will, ever.
Ever.

And this is a solid piece of advice (and I rarely dish out solid advice) - if you find the little miracles, the friends who wonder and marvel with you, do not and I mean, do not let them slip away. Life is too short and these people do not grow on trees.
Because they are magic.

If the topic is "Things Maria wants to happen", this is top 1 of the list.
No questions asked.

Now please find some headphones or plug in your speakers, and watch this video.

Always.
M.

sing your song

There is a tribe in Africa where the birth date of a child is counted not from when they were born, nor from when they are conceived but from the day that the child was a thought in its mother’s mind. And when a woman decides that she will have a child, she goes off and sits under a tree, by herself, and she listens until she can hear the song of the child that wants to come.
And after she’s heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child’s father, and teaches it to him. And then, when they make love to physically conceive the child, some of that time they sing the song of the child, as a way to invite it.

And then, when the mother is pregnant, the mother teaches that child’s song to the midwives and the old women of the village, so that when the child is born, the old women and the people around her sing the child’s song to welcome it.
And then, as the child grows up, the other villagers are taught the child’s song. If the child falls, or hurts its knee, someone picks it up and sings its song to it. Or perhaps the child does something wonderful, or goes through the rites of puberty, then as a way of honoring this person, the people of the village sing his or her song.

In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them.

The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.

And it goes this way through their life.
In marriage, the songs are sung, together.
And finally, when this child is lying in bed, ready to die, all the villagers know his or her song, and they sing—for the last time—the song to that person.

You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not.
When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn’t. In the end, we shall all recognize our song and sing it well.
You may feel a little warbly at the moment, but so have all the great singers. Just keep singing and you’ll find your way home.

http://thegodmolecule.tumblr.com/

Sing your song.
M.

wanderlust

My wanderlust is just out of control.



It's all I think about, every day, basically all the time.
Just this need to go and explore and adventure.
This is not a need to "go on a holiday", or to get a tan or get drunk in beach-side bars.
It's just a true yearning (the purest of these I've ever had) to go and see and explore.

This is just out of control.

Out of control wanderlust.
To See, and Breathe.

I just want to wander/wonder with an open heart with room for it to be Open.
With space, and freedom, and the safety to open up which comes with this freedom.

I mean, to be honest. I don't really need to leave the country for this.
This is not the point.
There's plenty to See here, on this tiny speck of wild land.

Plan.
Everything is possible.
I just need to plan.
Plan, plan, plan.

At least, I know what I need, and what I truly desire.

And that is good.
M.


Don't ever deny yourself your true nature.

lights off

And if you can, tonight, then please turn off your lights.
Get some candles.
Think some thoughts, or chat to your friends.
And turn off the lights.

http://www.earthhour.org/

Earth hour.
M.

Lips of Babel

Thirteen beautiful models from around the globe recite tongue twisters for http://www.motilo.com in their native language --- And take stock, because this might be your only chance to see that many pairs of sensuous lips, belonging to the world's top models, talk directly at you.
Elle Muliarchyk, photographer, ex-model, artist, curator of tongue twisters, rounded up fifty of her model buddies to recite local tongue twisters in their own language. The result is a joyous montage of beauty and curious sounds.

I love this video so so much.
Women, the glorious creatures!

my daily entertainment

Strider.

This has become a daily thing that I do.

Apparently, my new thing, is watching Lord of the Rings every night. Not a whole one, not in the right order. Just whatever hour or two from whichever one.
It's really strange, for no other reason than I've never been a fan of it really. And I'm therefore very confused as to why I'm watching the movies every night. And narrating to A. how this dwarf does this or, "NO, BOROMIR", or "the dwarf is running", or "got to love Gollum", or "Let's hunt some orc!", or "Yes, mini man-elf-dwarf union!!", or "ICH LIEBE GANDALF", or "Run, Sam, run!", or "Yes, Aragorn, you prance over that treelog", and so forth, and so forth, and so forth.
I mean. It entertains me largely, but I do find it somewhat bizarre. But whatever because ICH LIEBE GANDALF you know.

Oh, and then I realised I would LOVE to be an elf-queen. So much. If anyone has any tips, please hook me up. Thanks!
M.