in case you're wondering..

..this is what I did 6am on Sunday night. Or morning. Monday morning.
Well whatever you'd call that time, this is what I did.





The reason for this madness was L's birthday.
I did use a wall to help me, but I did it nonetheless.
And I'm super proud.
Truly.
That feeling of accomplishment I got from spending 7 seconds upside-down was just beyond glorious.

Today I've sent The Email, that I had been ignoring for quite some time.
I also plan to send another email (which consists of three), one which I have also been ignoring for quite some time.

I had this realisation last night, walking home. (I guess this is one towards which all my work has been moving.)
And it was just this moment where I understood in some way that all of us Know everything anyway.
(I know this sounds fairly ridiculous, but please, bare with me.)
The truth of the matter is, if we could only shut up these problems, these fears that we're taught, these complexes and the rest of the bullshit, then all that remains is knowledge.
Pure, simple knowledge.
Understanding of our own worth, our path, the "next move".
All the "what I need to do next".

Truth is, we are not born with fear.
Humans are said to be scared of two things, and two things alone (..not clowns):
- Darkness
- and Falling

So the rest of the crap just happens.
The "Life-happens" syndrome, as I've come to call it.

Unless we ask for what we want, we won't get it.
Unless we know ourselves, we won't know what to want (..on the soul-level. I'm not talking new shoes.)
Unless we accept ourselves, we won't know ourselves.

So forget what the first grade bully said, or the ex-boyfriend, or that one friend, or your aunt who thinks she has All the Answers, or your dad that one time when he was angry, or your mum who's scared of new things, or the friend who wants something else than you, or the society, or some book or another.

Because no-one knows You, like you know You.

And the fear, it's not yours.

Yours truly.
M.