engine

A while ago I started this post about feeling like I turned the engine off.
I mean, a long long while.
It's a shame I don't remember the date, I like to place these things in a linear context. (Way in 2012 I think. October, November?)

And let's be honest - I'm still here. I'm still at a place where the engine is still off.
Like, I used to be SO driven it was crazy.
I don't necessarily want to be like that again, but I want some of it back, so so bad.

I'm not even going to try and figure out what happened, or where did it go.
Did i get scared? Whatever.

Truth is, everything we either look forward to, or everything we are afraid of, it all comes from within ourselves. So it's pointless running.
Cause it's based right here, in my pasty-looking pretty little head.

We project and we receive.
Project different and you receive different.

So why don't I want anything?
You see the thing is, it's really really starting to annoy me.
I want to do things, and look forward to things, but something is not clicking to place.
And it's making me sad, cause it's spring and you know. Spring yayy! Should be the time everyone usually gets super excited.

Ramble-y Tuesday lunchtime.
But whatever.
Where there's a question, you'll receive an answer.
I hope.

Turn. 
it.
on.
M.

inspire

Maria's Inspirational Woman, number 2.

Tara Stiles.

She is a yoga instructor living in the US and has the most amazing Youtube channel. She shares yoga routines, answers questions and helps you work on poses, but also general life advice, inspirational ideas and recipes. So a perfect combo, for me at least.
There is something incredibly grounded about her which is why I really really like her very much. Something very grounded and simple. Her energy is just right for my wave-length or something.

This is her new project with Reebok. A really short video but the questions are interesting.

And if you like this, definitely check out her channel.
Good night, sweets.

Who made the rules. 
M.

I traced the beginning of when I started writing in English.
August 22, 2010, when i had an abundance of questions at 1am.
Including
When exactly did I stop wanting anything, at all? (Except maybe like 27 and a half hours of sleep)

trblnt

okay.
So.
what is this, and what is that? (what a brilliant question to ask around 4am)

Here's to the turbulent nights.

E. gave me a plan though, and I greatly appreciate this, since this is not something that happens often, with me.
It goes something like this:

Bath
bubbles
wine
a pretty glass
yoga-mat
candles.

I think I might follow through, you know.
But a bit later on.
Today is a day for blogging.

If there is truth in anything, there is truth in this tiny velvet rhino.

Here's to rhinos.
M.

stupid

I think I drafted this post around 3 weeks ago.

I might actually post my to-do list just so I can make it official that I actually am going to do these things!
Because this is simply getting ridiculous.

✓Phone Eve (about Sunday recording)
✓Pick a song
✓Phone Urmas (about the music) and take the music to him
✓Find the music (conclusion: I don't have it, so I'll go get it)
✓Move Mum's computer (and cheers to the fact she doesn't have a laptop)


In the meantime I'm going to try and figure out why in the name of sweet Jesus Christ himself I do this. I understand if I would enjoy this process of delay-delay-delay, but I don't. In fact, I hate it, quite actively. If anyone, anyone at all, figures out why, why, and WHY I'm doing this and how it makes sense, please PLEASE feel free to comment below. THAANKS.I've got my Twilight t-shirt out, and on. I mean business.
No, but seriously. This is really bugging me now. Do I like apologising? Or like, what?

Aloe Vera juice-drink actually rocks. There's no better way of saying this.

And I'm so planning next summer's holiday, already. Already. And it's elaborate.

I just thought I'd post it now. Better late than never.M.