nighttime

I completed my Wednesday to-do list!
I did all of that.
And that's pretty sweet.

Then went to stay with the Other Pisces, with the Spanish one. She lives 40 minutes out of Tallinn and it was absolutely more divine than I-lack-the-word.
We got there just in time for sunset, watched the sun go down down down on a beach. Then ate some smoked fish and watermelon and ice-cream, and then chatted about life and the universe. And got tucked into our mega-snug beds.

Morning time brought breakfast and sunbathing and more chats about life.
The energy is so good with those two - good to chat spiritual stuff. I don't think I've ever had that. So my gratitude goes out to the Universe. Muchos gracias.

And back to the capital I came, riding on a jolly yellow bus.
Did a soundcheck, saw a dance-puppet piece with E. (which was pretty super), had a rehearsal and sorted some other stuff for the Scaffolding gig (which is in TWO days?!).
AND I borrowed a bike from the pretty one and rode that home which made me happier than a pup with two tails.

Over-all, busy-Maria.
And I cannot wait to get away again.

With love.
M.

balance

Unproductive Friday alert.

I think the thing is that my decisions are finally sinking in.
The fact that I'm here in TLN, that I'm home, and that I have no clue about anything - that is finally sinking in.
And of course rationally I know this is super positive. And super brave.

But on the other hand, I am so used to living my life according to plans and schedules and deadlines and goals. Which is good. But if you start following goals for the sake of following goals things become very hollow.
So no more goals for now. Personal goals yes, career goals, I'm going to calm down. Or have already calmed down.

And so, it is sinking in. This new, completely alien way of being and breathing and thinking. And these things come in waves, as always.
This is the way it always goes.
It gets easier, it gets harder, then it gets easier again, this is the way the cookie crumbles.

But for some reason riding the wave this time is harder than before.

What I really want is to find a place, get away and find peace. Re-find the peace and balance.

But.
Spring is coming.
And with spring comes the ideal time to melt. And melting is hard.
So I will keep my eyes on the prize and I will keep my belief that things will get better.
Because that is all anyone can do, ever.

I hope you're peaceful and balanced and having a lovely sunny Friday.

Melt.
M.

hey guys

Today is Nanny-day!
My nephew is getting here soon and my desire to be an awesome auntie always kicks in.
I don't know what we're going to do yet, but I sure know he's gonna have fun!

Also, any day when it appears that I have a lot of hair on my head is automatically a good day.

And so, I'm gonna turn the Nanny wheel and see what I come up with.
And I started some interesting drafts late last night which I plan to finish today.

PS, had a very unexpected dream. You know when someone arrives in your dream and you wake up in the morning going "WHERE did you come from?" But it was a nice dream so no harm done.

With love.
M.