our fears

So.

Fears, right.

Our fears.

And how to tell the difference between a fear and the truth.

You know, we're told to trust our gut feeling?

Our gateway to universal truth?

But how to tell the difference between a gut feeling and a fear?

I guess a gut feeling is in the present.

You cannot "gut feel" the future. 

You can fear the future.

But the present, the here and now, that's a different game court.

I think.

Bottomline.

RECEIVE THE GOOD YOU'RE GIVEN.

With no reservations or past or future.

Really really truly receive it.

Accept it, embrace it, fully and honestly. 

With love.

M.

15 days till HK

So this is how long I have left of September that I will actually spend in Estonia.

What.

Therefore I'm just going to re-cap some ideas from August.

And remind myself that I promised to get some stuff done before I leave.
And I truly plan to take this rather seriously.

I want to get balls rolling in September, so I can coast along in October.
This leaving-things-undone is giving me some anxiety and that is stupid.
So therefore, get all balls rolling in September.

Ie, 15 days.

Doable.
Tight, but doable.
Focus.
The perfect exercise in focus.

First of all, tomorrow morning, I need to get cat food.
And after that, the rest can follow.

15 days.
Of focused.
And measured.
Productive.
And effective.
Action.

I, too, wish to be effective.

Yours truly.
M.

---
Affairs. (...IN ORDER. I've postponed sorting a whole bunch of stuff, since I am still of course the self-proclaimed Queen of Procrastination Nation. However, since I'm increasingly getting fed up with this title it's really time to turn over a new page. And re-titled myself, something like, Crown Princess of Productivity? Anyway, you get the general idea.)
Acceptance.
And goes out for everyone else as well as myself.
Plant alllll the seeds of acceptance, that you are worthy. 
Of all the good stuff there is in the whole wide world.
We deprive ourselves of the chance of success and succeeding so often, saying "we can't do it anyway", even before we've made the first tiny step.
So please, you, and you, and me as well. Let's accept ourselves for exactly what we are and accept the fact that we are worthy, of all the good.
Appreciation! Of yourself, of what you have. Appreciation and gratitude are too things most useful and most beauty-making.

Earn your own approval.

“Stay close to anything that makes you glad you are alive.”

—

Hafiz

I would really like a shower room like this.

I love doing stuff!
Efficient Maria.

And a full English the following morning.

tactile

I like touching.
I think it's a nice idea to trace our lives with our fingertips.
Because truth is, our skin remembers.
And I think our skin has a slightly different memory than the one belonging to our brain. Yes, I know, technically they are all tied to the brain, but you know what I mean.
The skin remembers.
So trace and touch and enjoy the quiet and overwhelming whole-ness of touch.
This doesn't have to be sexual, though of course, that would have its perks.

But no, touching is simple. It's cotton fabrics, or sunny skin, or hot or cold or smooth or whatever, or moss or berries, or water, or sand, or pages of books or holding a pencil, or whatever. I mean, skin gets the point here, but over-all, everything is nice.
Tactile lives are so much richer I think. And sometimes when a whole wintertide has been spent wearing mittens I forget how divine it is to touch.

Tactile.
M.

men

So.
I mean, right.
This is the thing.
My friends often ask me for guy advice. Not necessarily advice but just to talk about it and you know, lend an ear. This is mostly because I get along with my dad in a way that we'll have deep and meaningful conversations about whatever, including guy/men behaviour. So usually I'm very at home with talking to guys, or whatever, you know. Dad was also a textbook playa d*ck-head (sorry, dad!) when he was younger. So he's the guy a lot of my friends and myself included often struggle with.

Now then.
With the past little while, however, my understanding of any kind of male knowledge has just gone out the window.
Maybe this is just a good life lesson about how I just can't paint everyone the same colour, ever. There are just as much different behaviour and characteristics for guys as there are for women.
I've never ever ever ever been one to brand "all men pigs" or whatever. I think that's simply hideously stupid, sexist, idiotic, and just downright wrong. It's like saying "all women are blonde".
Same difference.
No, they are not.
Seriously.
Come on.

ANYWAY.
I digress. So yes, I think we (including me) potentially underestimate guys somehow. I mean, yes, it's a fact that sometimes their funstick takes over (this is just down to a limited amount of blood in the body), and in these instances their reason too is limited (Thanks, biology). However, I think I've started to underestimate the rest of the time, when there is a steady blood-flow, to the head as well.

By the way, this is not going to be a post of any revelations.
This shall be rambly and incoherent.

So.
Maybe it was a case of underestimating.
(This is not me back-tracking, this is me learning.)
Well, whatever it was, a lesson is a lesson. Doesn't matter what the current topic is, as long as it's a lesson, it has inherent value.

So here's a toast to assumptions, and generalisations, and expectations.
And here's another toast to not listening to them, at all! Ever!

Hip-hip-hooray.
M.

So my question is.
Is this snap below real? If it's real, was this written by a guy, or made by a girl?
(ps, I don't know the answers. I'm just saying.)

start

With the new year kick-starting, I seem to just forget to take a moment and breathe.
I won't do New Year's resolutions because they are not my style really - as in, I don't really like them.
So this year I will simply take time.
Take time to be. Cause there's such joy in being! And keep reminding myself. New habits are hard to start, but once we start a habit, the habit carries on and then forms us.
So, I will create a habit of taking time.
Taking time to make time.
I don't wish to live another year so that I get myself into ridiculous over-worked dead-ends. It's just an unpleasant waste of time, counter productive, so I am very much looking forward to saying, "yay! got rid of that".
So therefore, find an hour a day that is not tied to a laptop, or a phone, or a TV-set.
I know I will. Just a little time to switch off.
And I am absolutely dead-certain it will make a huge difference.
I like being busy, but busy and busy are different. Once I'm so busy I would like to slice my eyeballs open - I mean, where's the fun in that. But with a little time for breathing, the busy becomes a nice busy. Like, waves. Being caught in it, buried under it, or riding it. The wave, after-all, is the same.

Ride your wave.
M.

bon

A DIFFERENT LIFE