what do I want from MYSELF

Hello.

So, the question is - what do I want from ME.

I know what other people would like.

But, hey Maria - what would you like from Maria?

Why thanks for asking.

I'll get back to you when I give myself the time to actually understand that.

In other news, today was good.

Awesome lesson.

Helen is awesome.

And now I'm going to play my word search game and then sleep.

Good night, darlings.

Oh!

And I chopped my hair off.

Myself.

Yours truly.

M.

things

effort?

First of all - welcome to the table, Canada and Italy!
And thank you for reading.

So.
My question is.
Where does our effort go?

That's all.
There's no point in even expanding this.
All I want to ask is, where do we direct our daily effort?

Opportunities.
M.

linear lives

I wrote this in August.

The Universe is so giving.
It’s us that choose wrong.
We ask for things we don’t need, or think we want but don’t. Things we might have been conditioned to want, but we want them anyway. And the universe will provide. Of course it will provide, because how could it not. It’s the universe, man.
And then we sulk, and despair, and the rest. But not because fate or whatever is cruel, but because we chose wrong. We asked wrong. Like a fairytale.
We chose wrong.
If you want something enough, you will get it. So how do you know what you actually want?
Or is it like bingo?
You gamble.
Trial and error.

Well this deserves nothing but a big, fat, LOL. Trial and error. That can’t be right, can it?
Hey, mighty universe, I’m just gonna TRY OUT these few things.
Thanks. Wink. 

And now spring is coming.
And I'm home.
And I'm really in a very different place compared to August, which was big big hot mess, let's be honest. Everything just ground to a halt and the mill for some reason stopped turning.
But I am so so balanced where I am now, compared to then.
And for this, I am grateful.

I don't yet know what anything means to be honest, but I'm really learning to like it. And considering the fact I have always been the girl with the plan, I'm proud of that.

Because if I don't yet know what to ask from the Universe, I'm better not going to ask anything at all.

Careful what you wish for.
M.

beat 2

i just got so excited
about theatre (?)
but not, it as such, about doing it.

the feeling of doing it, came back. and excited me so much

weird that

is it realistic?
why not to be honest.
I am a massive chicken, and always have been.
but if i want something, why not stop being a chicken.
if i ask, and not get anywhere, why is that a bad thing?
at least i tried, you know.
maybe i should...just make a few inquiries.
thats all i can do really cause i dont even know what im asking

the prospect.
fuck.
so excited



WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?
..okay, good.
so go for it.


with love
You


All naked and the dead should hold each other hands /S.Walker/