things

like the old days

The Friday just gone was a glorious, glorious, glorious day.

Even the weather was nice.

So much good was sorted, and realised, both by me and her.
And then we decided to have some cake to celebrate.
Which we did.
And then we decided to go to the 100th season opening at the National Opera house.

Which we also did.

And it was great.


Just the atmosphere.
Black-tie and red carpet.
The people and the whole set-up.
And the gala concert itself was excellent standard.
And the whole thing just made me very happy.

And afterwards we took photos outside the opera house, and just, that's what I want.
I want to sing, and I want to learn how to use my own voice, so much better than I can at the moment.
And I want to be the dedicated student, I want to excel at studying.
And I want to learn all the parts, and sing to all the people.
And just ..make music.
I think that's the highest purpose I have.
I just need to not stand in my own way.
As do most of us.

And I want to just embrace all of it.
As me and for me and you know..
Not pretend or try to be something for someone else.
'Cause that never lasts.

I want to excel.


Then we had Vapiano pasta and prosecco (dressed as shown below).
And then I went and (roughly) doubledd the happy-ness.
So much so, that I couldn't sleep till 5.10AM.
Adrenaline-cat was at work.

Interesting times are ahead, my darlings.

As ever.
Yours truly.
M.

Natalie

And so she has announced her departure from the operatic scene.

Hm.....


I don't entirely know what this is doing to and with my insides.


You see, the thing is, I have never really been one for idols, or heroes, or..you know?
I've never REALLY been a fan of anyone, a true, hardcore fan.

The thing in my life that's only ever been that thing, is my thing with Natalie Dessay, the opera singer.
I first saw a DVD with her when I was 13. Or so.
I remember staying up till ridiculous o'clock, trying to mimick her sounds.
This is the closest to idolization I've ever got to.
And I do idolise her, absolutely to this day.

She is impeccable.
Her technique is second to absolutely none, and then the artistry, which is another topic entirely.
Divinity.

And I always had this idea, of seeing her live. Really seeing her in a production.
One of the big ones, you know?
The coveted roles, one of the ones that shape careers.

This was always my idea. My idée-fixe. 
And I always thought I'd do this when I was old enough, or wealthy enough, or just something enough, because I thought I had all the time in the world.
And more.

And sometimes people have these moments in their lives when they realise - we have no time.
Let's be honest, we don't.
Because things change, life happens, and we control none of it.

You just do not know.

And I waited for so long, I waited 11 years to then miss my chance to see the one artist live that will be The Artist for me most probably until I die.
How's that for hilarious.

And don't get me wrong - I'm not sat here going ape-sh*t because a soprano stopped singing opera.
It's the concept.
The concept of time, darlings.

We wait, and wait, and wait. For the perfect time.
Which - sorry to break it to myself, and everyone else - never arrives.
Ever.

Because there will always be a more perfect time.
And a more perfect time after that.
And after that.
A line which never ends.

If you want something, fight for it now.
If you want to be something, fight for it now.
If you want a chance, fight for it now.
If you want to travel, make it happen now.
If you want anything, bust your balls - but do it now.

Because the glittering miracle you're after might not be sat there some time from now.

This is the problem with young people. We think we have soooooooo mucccchhhh tiiiiiiime.....
Like there's a special time-god somewhere, spending all his love and grace on the 20-somethings.
But there isn't.

So don't blink and realise it's gone.
The thing with unicorns is they don't stick around and wait for sunrise.
They usually disappear.

And wouldn't that be a shame.

Yours truly.
M.