a lonely life

First of all, hello, all!
I'm back from "the South".
3 gigs later, I'm back.

They all went supremely well.
3 PACKED churches.
I'm so grateful, I truly am.
So the only thing to do is to stay super thankful, humble and work my balls off.

But I just have to say - it is a lonely life.
The guys I'm doing it with have wives and families and stuff.
I come home to the cat.
Love the cat as I do, but y'know..
It's just.
I'm not saying I want a family like tomorrow.
All I am saying is - touring gets sad, because I want to come home and SHARE this stuff you know?
With someone who cares about my existence.

AND I'm not moaning out of thin air - it is such a sharp contrast.
Having a fulll hall, with people literally loving what we're doing, or what I'm doing. You can see the emotion, we feel it and they feel it. And then coming home to nothing.
There was this little girl, who came up to the stage once we had finished just to hug me because "I was so nice".
I mean, seriously.
And then just four walls, my cup of tea and nothing.

This used to really really fuel the very unpleasant sides of my character back in the day.
Now I'm just better, I guess, at dealing with it.
Besides, I hear it coming way from the other side of the hill, which also helps.

And so, I'm going to power on.
Use some of the stuff the Spanish one recommended.
The nice stuff.


We had a picnic the other day, with the Tartu girls.
We chatted for a few hours, had some cheese and cherries and stuff.
It was so very nice.

Share, share, share.
M.

Saturday

..and it continues.

Saturday was scaffolding day!

The morning started with the last one of my Flower-valley (Lilleoru) lectures. Which was so dense.
And I think that in my head I was already back in Tallinn preparing the gig.
So I took notes but I need to work through all of it.
But the day was absolutely beaut so it was delicious being there.

Then 7 hours of wisdom later mum and I drove back, straight to the church.
Some getting ready time, a quick rehearsal with the pianist, learning some last words.
And then off we went!


I'm so pleased we did this.
And it was so good.
The feedback was so super, like truly super. I was so surprised just how much it had touched people, including my own friends.
And I hadn't done a big project in so long, so in terms of person accomplishment this day was huge, for me.

Also, through this project I found an idea that I want to carry with me and share for a long long time:
That beauty will remain if we share with one another. (Crap translation on my part. "Üksteisega jagades jääb ilus püsima" in Estonian.)
The idea that everything fades, if we don't share. This applies to values, language, culture, ideas, beliefs, memories, stories and heritage. Share. Share with your friends with your families.
Tell them stories, show them photos, but share.
Because I've realised I don't believe in much else than just the beauty of this world, life and planet.
So share.

And then Saturday night brought more circus.

I went out, everywhere, with my backpack.
Saw the girls, sat with some friends, and then at 4AM met the Spanish one for a trip to Privé. Which was circus. Let's just say a whole session of "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights" ensued and it was just ridiculous ridiculous jokes.

The Saturday night ended on Sunday at 9pm (?!...I rate us highly), in Vapiano, with two bear shaped pizzas.

Complaints?

NONE.
M.

healing

So I found this photo, from like a few weeks back.
We had had a gig in a really really cold church, again, and I wasn't feeling good at all after it.
So, what helps for everything? A shot of vodka. Seriously. I don't even know why, but honestly it helps, to warm up. Properly warm up. Cause the feeling of damp cold in my bones is one which I don't like, at all. And also one which, the morning after, results in a full-blown cold. No thanks.
And since it was Christmas, which means mum gets some caviar, I decided to heal everything through the medium of vodka and caviar. And I papped it, because it was just so ridiculous. (That and my festively garish nails.)

The second one is my fresh baby-face today. I haven't posted a self-take from my bathroom in a while so I felt it was so fitting.

Hope you're all having a good day.
M.

work and Coke cans

E. always has a great stash of Coke cans at hers, and I love the holiday designs.
And I found a pre-concert photo. Pap dat church.

Happy holidays.
M.