right now

This is what I want.

And this is all if I'm honest.
All the work and projects and ideas, nope.
I want to be topless, somewhere in Italy, drinking wine on a balcony.
Or by a pool.
Or whatever.
That's what I want.
I want some Italian man with a love of opera to call me "bellissima" and that's it.
That is all.

Thanks, byyye!

Yours truly.
With love.
M.

costume

Hejj!

✿ It's May!! ✿ ♥ ☼


So.
I've got this big gala coming up on Sunday, YAY!
The teacher I'm working with, Paolo, it's an opera gala with a big bunch of his super awesome students singing at it.
And me.
Like people from the Latvian National, and these awesome competitions, et cetera.
And me.
SO COOL!
I just started studying with him beginning of December and he is amazing.
And this concert is gonna be so much fun!
I was so stressed about it and un-zhuzhed beginning of the week but the excitement has returned.

So I'm still ill, but I had our first lesson today (Paolo lives in Italty so he comes here every few months) and it was super awesome!
And now I'm going to google-inspire myself in terms of the costume for Sunday.
Basically - I've got two outfits.
_one is just a concert dress, formal.
_second is a more casual costume for Zerlina, the peasant girl, who ends up getting quite down and dirty with Don Giovanni - and this I currently don't have.

Therefore I'm channeling cute milkmaid.
Or like, lolita-esque free nature spirit girl.
Simple.

So inspiration away, ahoy!

Peace out, happy first of May!
Yours truly.

M.

like the old days

The Friday just gone was a glorious, glorious, glorious day.

Even the weather was nice.

So much good was sorted, and realised, both by me and her.
And then we decided to have some cake to celebrate.
Which we did.
And then we decided to go to the 100th season opening at the National Opera house.

Which we also did.

And it was great.


Just the atmosphere.
Black-tie and red carpet.
The people and the whole set-up.
And the gala concert itself was excellent standard.
And the whole thing just made me very happy.

And afterwards we took photos outside the opera house, and just, that's what I want.
I want to sing, and I want to learn how to use my own voice, so much better than I can at the moment.
And I want to be the dedicated student, I want to excel at studying.
And I want to learn all the parts, and sing to all the people.
And just ..make music.
I think that's the highest purpose I have.
I just need to not stand in my own way.
As do most of us.

And I want to just embrace all of it.
As me and for me and you know..
Not pretend or try to be something for someone else.
'Cause that never lasts.

I want to excel.


Then we had Vapiano pasta and prosecco (dressed as shown below).
And then I went and (roughly) doubledd the happy-ness.
So much so, that I couldn't sleep till 5.10AM.
Adrenaline-cat was at work.

Interesting times are ahead, my darlings.

As ever.
Yours truly.
M.

Natalie

And so she has announced her departure from the operatic scene.

Hm.....


I don't entirely know what this is doing to and with my insides.


You see, the thing is, I have never really been one for idols, or heroes, or..you know?
I've never REALLY been a fan of anyone, a true, hardcore fan.

The thing in my life that's only ever been that thing, is my thing with Natalie Dessay, the opera singer.
I first saw a DVD with her when I was 13. Or so.
I remember staying up till ridiculous o'clock, trying to mimick her sounds.
This is the closest to idolization I've ever got to.
And I do idolise her, absolutely to this day.

She is impeccable.
Her technique is second to absolutely none, and then the artistry, which is another topic entirely.
Divinity.

And I always had this idea, of seeing her live. Really seeing her in a production.
One of the big ones, you know?
The coveted roles, one of the ones that shape careers.

This was always my idea. My idée-fixe. 
And I always thought I'd do this when I was old enough, or wealthy enough, or just something enough, because I thought I had all the time in the world.
And more.

And sometimes people have these moments in their lives when they realise - we have no time.
Let's be honest, we don't.
Because things change, life happens, and we control none of it.

You just do not know.

And I waited for so long, I waited 11 years to then miss my chance to see the one artist live that will be The Artist for me most probably until I die.
How's that for hilarious.

And don't get me wrong - I'm not sat here going ape-sh*t because a soprano stopped singing opera.
It's the concept.
The concept of time, darlings.

We wait, and wait, and wait. For the perfect time.
Which - sorry to break it to myself, and everyone else - never arrives.
Ever.

Because there will always be a more perfect time.
And a more perfect time after that.
And after that.
A line which never ends.

If you want something, fight for it now.
If you want to be something, fight for it now.
If you want a chance, fight for it now.
If you want to travel, make it happen now.
If you want anything, bust your balls - but do it now.

Because the glittering miracle you're after might not be sat there some time from now.

This is the problem with young people. We think we have soooooooo mucccchhhh tiiiiiiime.....
Like there's a special time-god somewhere, spending all his love and grace on the 20-somethings.
But there isn't.

So don't blink and realise it's gone.
The thing with unicorns is they don't stick around and wait for sunrise.
They usually disappear.

And wouldn't that be a shame.

Yours truly.
M.

phantom

And they arrived.

The "Phantom of the Opera" audition music is in my inbox and I'm literally DYING. Like, DYING.
With excitement and I don't even know what!?

Total
oh
em
gee


I will write more about this later.
For now, I'm just gonna repeat.

OH
EM
GEE

And A's arriving tomorrow morning.
And I just finished a loooad of macarons with dad+Mrs.

OH

EM

GEE



Devil doesn't play fair. 
M.


Like I'm going to diiiiieee with excitemeeenntnttttntntntnnntntnt. (Hello, audition! Thine ass will be kicked. Please, wish me steady nerves and the rest!)

Simon Keenlyside

Lets start with saying, this is an opera singer.


what
a
lovely
man


During school holidays he spent time as a warden with the Royal Society for Protection of Birds. As a teenager “I knew most European bird songs”, he says. Went to Cambridge, studied Anthropology, played rugby, then final year, changed to Zoology. Whilst doing his post-graduate singing studies, indulged in his love of running.

When he’s not singing he enjoys anything zoological, diving, walking, drawing (good doodles), painting and fly-fishing. “Travelling to places like Australia and California, I get the chance to see things that no one else except David Attenborough would!” He has a farm by the sea in Wales where he plants trees, digs ponds and encourages the wildlife to flourish, in his own words, “leaving that tiny little patch a little bit better than I found it”.

Oh, and of course, he is one of the leading opera baritones around, in the world, right now.

YES.
M.

enough

i've been chewing, and chewing, and chewing AGAIN this personal statement. again, and again.

so, i've decided to go from an A4 to 5 sentences.

I live for opera theatre.
I have a career spanning over 15 years.
I'm talented, hardworking and I look good on stage.
I think your course and myself would have the most fruitful time together.

With love,
you-may-call-me La Listra


THOUGHTS?
4am banter.
M.



i want to finish this thing.

...you see, the thing is

Ahh, I did some daydreaming today...

It will be called plan 43.

And it includes A., a NYC loft, or a townhouse, and the Met, of course.
And dogs who will have to stay in the servants' quarters (HA),
and cats who can remain in front of the fire.
Cats hypo-allergenic, and otherwise.

A. will be a professor of something ÜBERinteresting. And she will have just returned from an expedition to either Pole. Doesn't really matter which one.
On this expedition she will have met a guy, who turns out to be quarter-Icelandic. But a lifelong Newyorker. Doing a PhD in something ineffably cool. So her visit does not only include seeing me, but going on scarf-and-coffee filled walks with this guy, in Central Park. Of course.
And I will be in New York singing the Met Autumn/Winter season. Doing a REALLY good production of Lucia. And I mean, really good.
And we'll be there, in some sort of a rented accommodation. So we'll be there, in the library, which holds a fireplace and a grand piano, sitting on the sofa, napping. That is A. will be napping, I'll be sat behind the piano, going over some part of the score.
A's nap is due to the fact we will have just finished dinner, followed by cheese. And it's the cheese that will have created this nap-time.
And it will be nearing Christmas.
And I'll be wearing really world-class socks. This is of utmost importance.
And then some sort of a man, in a loose tie, will arrive home from whatever work business whatever, wherever. But he'll arrive.
And then after the opening night, we will all go to a Russian restaurant. It will have to be around midnight because I doubt I'll get out of the Met before that.
And I will order of course - cause it's from my hood.
And we'll walk home - cause it's just across the Park. Of course.

DAYDREAMING
M.

to my beloved summer

This has been a truly inspired Wednesday. (half-irony)

I went to see a new production of "Faust" at the Estonian National today. It was good. I loved the production/staging and the way they had played with the shift in action when Satan comes along. As it should be. I mean, that is just a mental turn of affairs in itself? Satan, physically, turns up. Against all odds. And I think there are no other ways of seeing it, really.. Satan is trouble, and chaos. (In the operatic, and literary sense.) Otherwise Satan could/would be something else. Whatev.
As an aftermath I did listen to about 3-4 hours of Natalie Dessay and felt great about the universe.

Then Wednesday stopped being inspired, and started being -- this.

I've been ploughing through home magazines. I'm riding the high so much. I want to have a nest, my own "box" if that's all it is. But I want it. And I want to put all my crap in it. And it will be my crap. And I will invite someone over for tea.
Or someone over for instant noodles because I might not yet have a kitchen.
Or give someone a place to stay after a night out when they can't find a cab.
Or just a place to come and borrow sugar.
Or a hairbrush.
Or some music.
Or some DVDs.
Or borrow socks.
Or a dress for going out.
Or whatever the hell one might need, at any given point in time.
Or come cry.
Or come tell ridiculous stories from the night before.
Or just for some wine, and a big fat catch-up.
Or just come do a whole load of absolute-whatever.

And it shall be (so) glorious.

Today was the day I realised summer was gone for good. Not that the weather's been cheating or anything - it's proper autumn. It's just my extended holiday has kept me somewhat under the idea - not idea necessarily, rather the feeling - that summer was still here, or some of the holiday-ness of it all.
But then this inspired Wednesday for some reason carried with it the knowledge that it was over. Officially. My summer of 2012 is finito. Byyyeee!

And it has been great.
And I think it's going to carry some of its wonderfulness into the 2012/13 season. Or at least I've really got my fingers crossed for that.
But dear, oh dear, it's been wonderful.

So, I would like to take this tiny second to thank all the [insert word that means makes one jump up and down a little in sincere, unspoilt joy] people who've been around at some point or another this summer. Cause it was great. Simple as.
You've made me laugh, or (very) happy, or just given me some of that everything-is-so-awesome-actually type-of-contentment feeling, or made me feel in general, or made me act like a true idiot, which usually is the absolute best of it all.


I took this picture (below) yesterday. And yesterday was fantastic.
Thank you, summer.
I'll see you again next year.
I will miss you.
You have been so good to me this year, and you will forever be my favourite.

With love and gratitude,
Yours
M.