The Friday just gone was a glorious, glorious, glorious day.
Even the weather was nice.
So much good was sorted, and realised, both by me and her.
And then we decided to have some cake to celebrate.
Which we did.
And then we decided to go to the 100th season opening at the National Opera house.
Which we also did.
And it was great.
Just the atmosphere.
Black-tie and red carpet.
The people and the whole set-up.
And the gala concert itself was excellent standard.
And the whole thing just made me very happy.
And afterwards we took photos outside the opera house, and just, that's what I want.
I want to sing, and I want to learn how to use my own voice, so much better than I can at the moment.
And I want to be the dedicated student, I want to excel at studying.
And I want to learn all the parts, and sing to all the people.
And just ..make music.
I think that's the highest purpose I have.
I just need to not stand in my own way.
As do most of us.
And I want to just embrace all of it.
As me and for me and you know..
Not pretend or try to be something for someone else.
'Cause that never lasts.
I want to excel.
Then we had Vapiano pasta and prosecco (dressed as shown below).
And then I went and (roughly) doubledd the happy-ness.
So much so, that I couldn't sleep till 5.10AM.
Adrenaline-cat was at work.
Interesting times are ahead, my darlings.
As ever.
Yours truly.
M.
"We do not become writers, dancers, musicians, helpers, peacemakers. We came as such." C.P.Estés
Showing posts with label eesti. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eesti. Show all posts
Monday, September 9
Saturday, March 9
domani
TLN ✈ STHLM
Once more.
But this time it's different.
A is somewhat buried in academia and I need some time out. What of, I don't quite know. But time out.
So we decided to congregate on her sofa in STHLM, breathe in, breathe out and cook some food.
Because I mean, why not, right?
I'm sure I'm gonna take some lush photos and try and upload some as I'm there (I'm not taking my laptop with me, shock horror). I'm back next Wednesday so it's a pretty perfect 4 night-5 day break. Of course I would prefer it to be 5 month than 5 day break (note the habitual running away to another place as soon as possible) but this will do so nicely.
I hope you, guys, have a lush weekend and that wherever you are spring is coming quiccckkkk. Or at least quicker than in TLN.
Me and my spotty suitcase wave goodbye for now and I'm off to an adventure!!
Go and see.
With love.
M.
And below we have A's shot of STHLM and springtime sun.
Once more.
But this time it's different.
A is somewhat buried in academia and I need some time out. What of, I don't quite know. But time out.
So we decided to congregate on her sofa in STHLM, breathe in, breathe out and cook some food.
Because I mean, why not, right?
I'm sure I'm gonna take some lush photos and try and upload some as I'm there (I'm not taking my laptop with me, shock horror). I'm back next Wednesday so it's a pretty perfect 4 night-5 day break. Of course I would prefer it to be 5 month than 5 day break (note the habitual running away to another place as soon as possible) but this will do so nicely.
I hope you, guys, have a lush weekend and that wherever you are spring is coming quiccckkkk. Or at least quicker than in TLN.
Me and my spotty suitcase wave goodbye for now and I'm off to an adventure!!
Go and see.
With love.
M.
And below we have A's shot of STHLM and springtime sun.
Wednesday, October 10
MIDDLE
I flew back 2 days ago, and so far I've only thought boring, middle-of-the-scale thoughts.
It is getting serious.
There's a reason I blog a lot in Estonia. Because I just think more there.
That of course includes the usual, the unusual and the everyday, but point is, I. just. think. more.
SO.
The question now is.
WHAT DO I DO ABOUT THIS?
Since thinking is one of my top 3 favourite things to do, this is more than a marginal problem.
"How to induce interesting thoughts?"
.....ummmmm..........
Seriously.
Seriously.
M.
ps. (Anyone with any guidance as to the question above, please go crazy.)

Tuesday, September 4
going, going, gone
I saw the MOST AMAZING thing yesterday.
I was flying home from Stockholm, and we were already flying across Estonia, when we got to some clouds. They were beautiful, some light, some rainy ones.
I looked down and I saw one of the best things I had ever seen in my life.
The sun must have been directly above the plane, because when I looked down I saw a perfect plane-shaped shadow. But the real amazing thing was - the sun was shining onto a rainy cloud, and therefore the plane shadow was surrounded by a perfectly spherical rainbow. And it moved with us. The shadow, and the spherical rainbow.
Perfect and round. It was just extraordinary.
I made a drawing of it, in Paint. Just to explain it a little better. I mean, it truly was, one of the best things I have ever seen. I think it almost felt like magic. And I felt like I was 5. And that too was a little, tiny tiny tiny little bit like magic.
(oh heavens, i LOVE Paint.)
Estonia looked so powerful.
Flat, stable. Really strong in its flatness, this ongoing strength. Just geographical royalty almost. So balanced. And humble. And so beautiful in all its quiet wisdom.
And you can really see it from above, that the land is still allowed to breath, and feel. Humans have not broken and torn the land, the look of the land.
It still feels something, really on its own accord. And that really was quite something. Just so pure. Seeing that.
Things happening, allowing things to happen. quite on their own.
Autumn's coming. I really looked forward to the last one, but not this one. This one is different. Summer's gone too quick and I'm not ready for the cold. And stuff dying. I would rather not. And I'm not really one of those people who can just enjoy the lovely aesthetic of autumn and the leaves and go "Aww". It is beautiful, but just not it.
Summer's over.
But spring will come soon. As it always does.
A's flat is lovely.
I want to nest.
I really do. So much.
Love, M.
Monday, June 11
to nordic or not to nordic?
So, how Nordic are we? And does it really matter?
(I realised I've wanted to post about this for a while now. So this is a post of snippets, all of which have something to do with why I feel Estonians should be regarded more Nordic, rather than Baltic.)
not to be confused with Scandinavia/ns, where we have no claim.
"The term Baltic as a concept to group Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia has been criticized, as what the three nations have in common almost wholly derives from shared experiences of occupation, deportation, and oppression; what these countries do not share is a common culture or identity."
So.
I'm really confused as to why I'm so interested in the "Baltic" status of Estonia. It's always felt a little mismatched and I think the sentence above explains it really well - for all that we have to be proud of as a nation, it seems sad that the pigeon-hole where we belong on the map of Europe is based on suffering and loss.
Culturally and linguistically it doesn't take a rocket-scientist to figure out where we stand in relation to other Nordic countries, or to Latvia and Lithuania. The Baltic states - the brave states, the states that did a great thing, the states which stood shoulder-to-shoulder and helped one another gain independence, and so on. And that of course is a bond that will not vanish. A positive bond. A one-of-a-kind. History is too bloody and brutal for such an anomaly to fade away. But to form an exclusive group, a cell of nations based on this?
Of course this whole argument is two-sided. On one hand, it is easy to see the "Baltic" concept as rising from decades of oppression and occupation. On the other hand, the "Baltic" concept is one of independence, and joy, and freedom. Having said that, could we realistically distance ourselves from the suffering that brought with it this liberation however sweet? Or should we stick to it? Or should we look further back, before the rise of the Soviet Union, and go back to the cultural and linguistic ties and follow where they are so overtly leading?
"The Nordic countries are characterised by similar structures of their societies and cultural traits. This results not only from similar environmental realities and thus traditional livelihoods but also from a shared history."The shared history is there. And anyone who has visited Estonia and either one of our Nordic neighbours for example can see or rather sense the similarities.
As right as it feels to honour the events of the last 20-30 years, upholding them to such an extent feels like we're kind of off-track. Of course upholding the Baltic sign is necessary but should it define us? Especially when the rest of our history is calling us home, somewhere else.
The reason why this should be looked at now is because of how young we are as a country. We can always go "back to the roots", but would it not be better to do it now that we are still trying to get our feet firmly on the ground? The pace of development throughout Europe and the world is not showing any signs of slowing down so surely knowing and sensing where one is grounded can only be a good thing. Especially nations as small as us.
So.
Who cares?
Well. It seems politics of this kind do and do not matter. It is somewhat like highschool, or even kindergarden. What you do as an individual isn't really in direct coherence with the group you belong to. You can earn your stars and stripes how you wish, get the grades or not, and be either naughty or nice. The "mass" around you doesn't do that for you. However, the perception of you externally is in direct accordance with the cloud in which you hover, whether we like it or not. Obviously modern day politics are more advanced than schoolyard games and hierarchies. But some emphasis needs to be placed on the people. How do Europeans perceive one country or another? Tourism turns many cogs so therefore the "mass" cannot be dicounted for. And so, what is the difference whether the country in question is a Baltic one or a Nordic one?
The Danish flag, Dannebrog, the Nordic cross, fell from the sky during a battle in Tallinn, Estonia, according to Danish legend. Tallinn - the capital of Estonia - has got its name from two words: "taani" and "linn", meaning "Danish town". Estonia was passed back and forth between Denmark and Sweden until 1721 - almost a third into the 18th century.
"Víkingr frá Estland" - my absolute Viking-heritage dream-come-true. Turns out we were pretty hardcore. There's stories of Estonian Vikings in the Icelandic sagas.
Estonian Viking sailors - Oeselians - used ships with a high prow shaped like a dragon or a snakehead.
The main god of the Oeselians was Tarapita, thought to have strong links with Thor.
Geographically Baltic, Nordic at heart?
If the Gulf wouldn't be there..., M.



Estonian Viking sailors - Oeselians - used ships with a high prow shaped like a dragon or a snakehead.
The main god of the Oeselians was Tarapita, thought to have strong links with Thor.
Geographically Baltic, Nordic at heart?
If the Gulf wouldn't be there..., M.



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