dip-dye house

raging nights and sun-kissed mornings

visual

les bijoux

deep

Stuff's got so deep and meaningful lately that I feel it's about time I really lighten the mood.
So therefore I'm just gonna post some pictures of nice stuff, and whatever.

Life's more fun when we act dumb.
Thankyou, Example.

I might take you up on that.
M.

growing pains

"No"vember is nearly finished.
And it's been a good month. A good month of many more to come.
I like the fact that it doesn't feel like a month just wasted, or time gone by. Because I find that so frustrating.
And I think the ball's rolling down the right slope. Scary, but exciting.
Like, unraveling, but then realising it's actually fine.

This is so tricky to write down, cause all of this is just so vague, and huge, you know?


So.
Growing pains.
It's not meant to be nice.
When do people stop growing?
I posted, a while ago, just this idea - when do people get too old to get lost.
Or like, when do people cross this barrier into adulthood that means no mistakes, no learning, no nothing. No growing.
Just nothing. Just repetition. Repetition of the same patterns, and same actions, and words, and people, and places. The same routine, and the same habits. The same signposts, and roads, and nooks and crannies, and no wonder, no surprise, no gawking at the miracle of life or staring into space thinking how is anything this wonderful. No chances and no fear.
Children are allowed to go through growing pains. You grow. It's what's meant to happen. Your bones, your teeth, your limbs, your lungs, your rib cage, your spine, your lips, your tongue, your fingers. Everything is stretched and distorted, beyond recognition.
The inconvenience of growing. Growing pains. But at the end of it, you're you.
When do we stop growing. Should we stop growing. Or is it just the fear of another set of growing pains? And then another?
People say you can't change. You don't need to. Just evolve. And let others evolve too.
Why should learning and shifting stop?

Growing pains. They indicate that something big is happening. Not that anyone's dying.
Just that big stuff is going down.

Embrace growing pains.
If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't affect you.
Wouldn't it be boring to stop growing in the early 20s? That you race down this highway of frikkin rainbows, and unicorns, and miracles upon miracles and then just stop?
How much more is there to find and discover?
Of course, this is not something that anyone has to do. It's something a lot of people don't want to do, which is fine. All of this is fine. Plenty of people are happy being comfortable, because comfort is nice, and this is logical and if it feels right, it feels right.
All I'm saying is, if it doesn't feel right, it's not right. It's not that you "are not made for this", or you are not "made" for big things, or the little things, or happiness, or sadness, or love, or adventures, or being happy in your skin, or being on someone else's skin. It's that you aren't there yet. But if you ask the right question, the answer always comes.
So many people get scared. I'm one of them. The front-runner of the Fear Regiment. Seriously. But so what? All of this is scary.
But I won't be one of the people who just stops.
Life's too short, and the world's too interesting.
And there will always be people in your life to give you something for your gums, or then pick you up when gravity doesn't aid your attempt at walking, or help you when you feel dizzy cause your blood circulation can't keep up with your body, or when you're changing so fast, you don't really know what to cling on to.
But there will always be people.

If you're honest, you will always find someone to tie you up.
Or in this case, if you're honest, you will always find someone to listen to you moan about the growing pains.

Because truth be told - it's fucking cool.
M.




“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”

—	F. Scott Fitzgerald

adventure

What would be greater
than the adventure
of really letting yourself be
whatever it is you want to be?

Letting yourself grow
into whatever it is
you shall grow into?

DON'T BE A PUSSY
AND TAKE THE LEAP

fucking NO.
just NO. like, enough is enough.
and enough is RIGHT NOW.
seriously.
just seriously NO. UGH. WHATEVER.

lost and found

I got lost in him, and it was the kind of lost that’s exactly like being found.

― Claire LaZebnik 

"the sun and the stars"

do we have time
to go for the sun and the stars
like
do we have any time
at all

should we ever think we have the time
but maybe we do
so let yourself burn
and let others burn too

because whether there's a lot
or a little
point is
time flies

With love.
M.

one of those

one of those days when little things are like, SO annoying.
like, someone's stuff on the banister that keeps falling down
or like, the shower being just not hot enough
or like, someone else's music being too loud
or just like, everything you know
little things

ugh

confession.
all this is powered by the fact that i want to go home.
or rather, home via Stockholm, ya know.

Cause this time it's still Chaos and Mayhem, but Chaos and Mayhem Christmastide Special.
Different vibez.
Some actual c+m combo might happen, but it's not the emphasis.

MYSA IS.
M.

right here

Again, an old post draft. 


i realised, all of a sudden, that for my entire life i've been looking for balance in all the wrong places.

and i realised, whilst having a shower, that all the balance a person needs (to begin with) is from the person. so from me. and then the rest of the stuff will follow.

okay this might seem like a very captain obvious thing to say, but aren't most things?
i mean. if you really simplify it (by it, i mean everything) down to its core, then everything is so simple.

I'm so outward looking, all the time. just, in creating a life, if i can say that. and then most people say, oh why is this not happening, and that not happening. well the answer is not far, is it.

and i think this is the one thing i've learnt with the excessive amounts of yoga i've been doing. that i've been looking way too far. better just roll dem sleeves up, and get cracking with myself. be what i want to be like, and the rest will follow.

starting the other way around is a bit of a waste of time. (again, this might not work for everyone, but i've realised this works for me.)
i need to start from right here, to get anywhere. basic logic.

and the rest will follow. like karma.

because balance isn't outside, it's inside. a balanced life doesn't equal what's going on around us. it's a way of looking at things. there is as much or as little balance as we allow there to be.
i will now start testing this out.

and remember to breathe.

if it works i will genuinely do a dance of utter..like, relief.

because since i am, and have been, on a perpetual quest for balance for so long, it's a good little nugget. 

YAY!

and f*ck, it feels nice.
M.

The Pain

This is for Pain.

HELLO, PAIN!
M.

a series

just a series of sights and sounds
sensations
images and memories

life
is just a series
like a collage in a notebook
of textures
silk and velvet
cold and warm
soft and smooth
feeling it over and over
fingertips and all

to think too much
and feel too little

iron in your soul
but fire in your eyes

Seven Psychopaths

Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got..
No, but seriously. Don't be fooled by the title, and give it a look.

Lolfest.
M.

wanderlust

and i've got it so bad.