expressive

Okay, so.

I don't think I particularly struggle with self-expression.
However.
..and this is something I've spoken about before.

Clothes.

Spring is coming.
And I was reading Dani's blog, as I do most days, and she was saying how she's lost her expressiveness via clothes.
And I'm exactly the same.
I find it rather depressing - the idea.
Clothes are amazing!
And should be used to extend Yourself.
Everything, EVERYTHING is an extension of ourselves.

And it's a missed opportunity not to use clothes in the same fashion.


And then there's me moaning endlessly about being bored.
Yes, well WEAR something interesting - and then let's see how you feel.
Maybe it will work, maybe not.
However, it's worth a shot.
Not to look boring.

Okay then.

Yours truly.
M.

http://dani.metromode.se/


Here she supports a distinct lack of clothing, I just love the top left shot.

release the swag

www.polyvore.com

So.

With the arrival of autumn, my annual feeling of being the most boring person in the country has returned.

So this has created my joint project with A. for turning on the outer swag.
The pretty one suggested going on polyvore.com, which might change my life.

Also, just to be clear, this boringness is absolutely external.
I don't feel interally boring.
I just think I look ridiculously boring.

Also, adding some boyfriend jeans to my wardrobe.
And using Kandee Johnson's videos to learn some new make-up tips.

Because this is where my head is at.
And apparently I consider this very important.

Yours truly.
M.

wellies

Having some wellies is just so good.

(Still don't understand what my camera resolution is up to.)

Wear more wellies.
M.

cape

A. gave me a cape.
I literally felt like Batman.
It was pretty awesome.

Can't wait for spring to find a Batmobile and hit the town.

Cape.
M.


Sorry for the marvellous quality.

clothes

Okay, guys, I have a problem.

This is not going to be as pointless and shallow as it sounds at first.

So.
I don't know what clothes I like.

Explanation.
Lately I'm just having a really really tricky time finding anything I feel good wearing. I guess it's just that I'm not entirely sure the kind of person I want to put across at the moment.
It was easier in LDN because there none of this matters.
But I touch-down in TLN and there's these people and journalists and whatevers (which I cannot stress enough, I'm grateful for) but the downside of this is, it is just hard to change.

I have these patterns here. The automatic shapes and things that I do, and things I represent and therefore, clothes I wear.
It's like, I arrive and there's a pre-decided Maria Listra waiting here, who I've created, and I kinda leave myself going "HUH?". Like I leave me on the doorstep.
And so now I'm home, with a load of clothes, and they just don't feel good on. They feel like they belong to someone else and this is a very strange sensation. So I've slowly been going through my clothes to see which ones I actually like wearing and which actually feel like me.

And so there you go. My clothes problem.
I don't know what clothes I like, I don't know what clothes like me, and whatever. Summer's so easy, I just run around half naked all the time, which suits me fine.
So for now, I'm just gonna go about being a little confused.

I
don't
unerstand
clothes
ugh

Clothes.
M.

what do clothes say?

this is f*cking awesome

"I'm wearing your Grandad's clothes,
and I look incredible."

Late-night packing beats, guys and dolls.

Don't be fooled by the beginning. This is definitely a huge beat.
And also - what Alessandra has got to do with any of this, beats me.

PS
Once you've hopefully listened to the remix version which I think is better, please please read this.
Brillliannttttt!
http://www.gq.com/entertainment/tv/blogs/the-stream/2012/10/the-macklemore-bible-of-thrift-store-shopping.html

So fine.
M.

packing mess №2

And it continues!
The list I wrote yesterday has absolutely not been fulfilled.
However, I realised that late-brunch and watching Dexter in my room with A. was much more pleasing. Besides, it was snowing. Okay, none of the snow stuck, but slush crap falling down from the heavens is not an ideal circumstance for being useful.
Sounds pathetic, having just returned from Tallinn, but hey, whatever.

So now A's gone to town, and I'm back to the packing mess!
The clothes are getting it hardcore today.
There's a YES-pile, a Give-to-someone-else-pile and then the "project"-pile, stuff I need to do something with, alter and so forth.
Energy FM, my trusty trusty friend, is blaring tunes into my ears and so it goes!
Nicki Minaj just finished telling me "starships were meant to fly".
Thanks.

I've also managed to get some boxes today from our local shop, on our street.
We kinda know the guys, you know, popping in and out, saying hi, so they were super-super friendly, and I got all my boxes! And they said they were sad I was leaving London, and the street.

And also, I went on the Nike website today and to my pleasant suprise found the January clearance waiting, longing for me..
Oh, yes.
So I found this pair, picture below. Like -30% and apparently, really really lightweight, perfect for hitting 'dem miles.

A's back now, and I'm packing, still.
Classic FM is playing.

I was thinking you know, that I need to take it quite easy, with this packing, and moving.
I'm nearly done. My clothes are in like, 4 boxes. And I mean, this is going quickly. I sorted most of my stuff in December, so there isn't that much to sort, per se.
And I think I thought I have much much more stuff than I do.
So I now need to calm down, and take more time with this.
Pack a bit, and then pack some more.
Not do this quickly.
I'm not in a rush, I'm not in a hurry.
I'll take my time saying goodbye, and untying all the ribbons, solving all the knots.
And it will be great.

Balance, and boxes.
M.

sorting sorting sorting sorting

...sorting sorting.

What am I sorting, you ask? (Or maybe you don't, but I'm going to hope that you would ask, what am I sorting.)

Stuff, is the answer.
I'm stewing a secret plan, of returning to my homecountry (ES-TO-NI-A!) for some time.
I've lived in London for 6 years (with the 7th currently running). Which is a lot of time. Nearly a fourth of my life.
Crazy.
Absolutely crazy.

So now with various things here and there, and A. being SO international, and all the sweethearts at home, et cetera, I've found myself actively thinking about this.

So therefore, because I am a HUMONGOUS chicken-pants (direct translation from Estonian), and by that I mean HUMONGOUS, I thought that actions could turn themselves into words. Since I'm too scared to actually say it and therefore make it official, I'm simply sorting through everything. My pre-step to moving.
But I think it's working.

And I'm having fairly significant amounts of fun with this. Finding old things, trying on all of my clothes to see what stays, what goes. Old posters, and other bits and pieces.
With Energy FM pumping great club-beatz at me. This is an Estonian radio station, and they are great.
http://www.energyfm.ee/ (go crazy. great tidying, sorting, workout-ing, whatever-ing music.)

Here's a picture of all the rings I found, none of which I wear, ever.
But much like the 5-year-old that I am, I put them all on at once and felt great about this situation.

My room was so lovely this morning. Alas, this sorting business has taken a little longer than I expected.
So now, my haven has been turned upside down.
Sigh.
Not to fear, tomorrow I will valiantly finish this quest!

Chicken is sorting. 
M.

i do not have a plan

I don't.

That's the long and short of it: "I. do not. have. a plan."

I started this post on the ..maybe the 11th of August.
But now I'm back in business. I think this no-plan business was largely brought on due to some emotional rollercoaster-ing. No one knows.
But now we're back in business. And I'm listening to Croatian radio. And 212, trying to learn it by heart for E.

The reason I write in English is because it distances things slightly. I think I'd live through everything a bit too hardcore in Estonian.

This is a really good Croatian radio station, called Borovo I think.

And now it's the 20th of August. And I'm back in Tallinn, and there's WORK TO BE DONE.

Man with a plan.M.