tonight

I'm really angsty tonight.
It's so boring.
Seriously.


I put a wash on, and I'm watching this documentary, super interesting called "Forks over Knives" again about food and the effect it has on the human body, and "Food Matters".
Again, masterpieces.
SO FASCINATING!


And I'm angsty.
I don't know why but I am and it's really really snacking on my insides.
Tomorrow I'll wake up at 8AM and get stuff done.
This is not nice.


I'm getting my nails done tomorrow, and buying some crayons.
I want my hands and fingers to aid my thinking.
And I think I'm getting my body mass and all that measured tomorrow.
The pharmacies are doing it for free until the end of the month, so I thought why not.
Interesting to find out.


I hope this is gonna disappear soon.

Night, darlings.
M.

expressive

Okay, so.

I don't think I particularly struggle with self-expression.
However.
..and this is something I've spoken about before.

Clothes.

Spring is coming.
And I was reading Dani's blog, as I do most days, and she was saying how she's lost her expressiveness via clothes.
And I'm exactly the same.
I find it rather depressing - the idea.
Clothes are amazing!
And should be used to extend Yourself.
Everything, EVERYTHING is an extension of ourselves.

And it's a missed opportunity not to use clothes in the same fashion.


And then there's me moaning endlessly about being bored.
Yes, well WEAR something interesting - and then let's see how you feel.
Maybe it will work, maybe not.
However, it's worth a shot.
Not to look boring.

Okay then.

Yours truly.
M.

http://dani.metromode.se/


Here she supports a distinct lack of clothing, I just love the top left shot.

release the swag

www.polyvore.com

So.

With the arrival of autumn, my annual feeling of being the most boring person in the country has returned.

So this has created my joint project with A. for turning on the outer swag.
The pretty one suggested going on polyvore.com, which might change my life.

Also, just to be clear, this boringness is absolutely external.
I don't feel interally boring.
I just think I look ridiculously boring.

Also, adding some boyfriend jeans to my wardrobe.
And using Kandee Johnson's videos to learn some new make-up tips.

Because this is where my head is at.
And apparently I consider this very important.

Yours truly.
M.

I'M BACK!

I'm back.
I'm back.
I'm back.
I'm back.
I'm back.
I'm back.
I'm back.
I'm back.
I'm back.
I'm back.
I'm back.

I'm back!



And news - I'm going to HONG KONG!
25th of September for 2 weeks and it's like MADNESS in my mouth to even say it!

To make this official, I gave myself a new desktop background - HK skyline.

So far, I haven't left Europe.
I've travelled a lot in Europe, but never got outside this continent.

I cannot even begin to slightly comprehend what this will be like.
It will shift something, something necessary.
I've got 5 weeks till we go, and plenty I want to do before.

This summer again has been fairly strange.
And again, when I blog little, it means stuff's a mess.
But what is mess for?
Mess is for working through it.
Which is what I'm doing.

I've got loads of pictures from the past few weeks, which I'll post soon.
Most of my time I've spent with the Spanish one.
I've decided to stay with her for a bit - it seems to be good for both of us.

Plenty will be done.

I've developed a thing for being a little chicken, again.
I'm not entirely sure where this came from.
10 years ago, at the special age of 14, if someone would've asked me: Hey, Maria, how would you describe yourself in 10 years?
I mean, cowardly would not have been one of the chosen words.

And it bores me, truly.

So, no more.
Whatever.

Here's to travelling, here's to marvel and exploring and friends.

Yours truly.
And now I'm back.
M.

stupid

Okay, this is ridiculous.
It's time to stop being stupid and focus.

Feeling lonely is boring.
Feeling crappy is boring.

So why be boring.

Like, SERIOUSLY.


DREAMERS
DOERS
BELIEVERS
THINKERS

Visuals.
M.

blame

Placing blame makes no sense.
But I do.
I blame you.
I swear I'll stop.

But I do, I blame you.
And you, and you.

But the truth is.
The only, and I mean, the only thing I need to realise, is that this is not a competition.
Life.
No, seriously.
This is not a competition.
I'm not competing, nor do I have to prove, anything, at all. Ever.
Old habits die hard, but they too will die.
And disappear.

I want to forever be my own first choice.
And live accordingly.
According to this one very very very simple principle:
I will forever be my own first choice.

I think that is my biggest fear.

1st.
M.

brain

So, brain.
No, seriously.
My subconscious has really very strongly got into a habit of late of doing it's dirty dirty washing as I sleep. Of course this happens to all of us that sometimes we have unresolved crap which then goes into the wonderful subconscious.
But I'm genuinely bored of this.

Stuff that I don't actively think about.
Stuff that shouldn't be a negative thing.
Stuff that I don't want to think about.
Stuff that just doesn't belong, anywhere.

But last night was a great night. K and M-L are in town from TRT for the weekend, and I was so truly super excited! And so very pleased.
Like, just so fresh and like, I don't even know.
Awesome-sauce tripled.
So much dancing, and so much super fun. Seriously.
I'm super grateful for this.

And tonight plans to carry on this vibe.
E and I are joining forces later, to see what comes out of that egg-shell this time around.

Go rest, brain.
M.

10,000

Thanks for the pageviews, guys!

I hope my moving drama is not too boring, and I hope to lighten up soon.

Lots of looove.
M.

And to celebrate, here's a photo of my 3 rolls of bubblewrap and 2 rolls of tape. Yayy!

kardashians

Last night was hard.
I don't even know why but I just got so frustrated, with the endless packing (seems endless), and not having a date.
This is so boring, for everyone. Truly, truly boring.

SO.
New day, new stuff.
And for now I'm letting the Kardashian sisters cheer me up.
I don't like reality-TV really, it's never been my thing. And from what I knew about Kim Kardashian was like, just annoying. Void, and annoying.
But then, I don't even know how or why I started watching Keeping up with the Kardashians, and turns out they're good people. The other girls work hard, and their step-dad is a good man.
The eldest sister, Kourtney, has 2 kids with Scott Disick. Who I think is great. He's gone through some rough rough times, but it's so clear that those two love each other to the Moon and back.

And also, Kourtney, Khloe and Scott doing the rain dance, cause they're bored, is pretty great.

Cheer up Monday.
M.

MIDDLE

I flew back 2 days ago, and so far I've only thought boring, middle-of-the-scale thoughts.
It is getting serious.
There's a reason I blog a lot in Estonia. Because I just think more there.
That of course includes the usual, the unusual and the everyday, but point is, I. just. think. more.

SO.
The question now is.

WHAT DO I DO ABOUT THIS?

Since thinking is one of my top 3 favourite things to do, this is more than a marginal problem.

"How to induce interesting thoughts?"

.....ummmmm..........

Seriously.

Seriously.
M.

ps. (Anyone with any guidance as to the question above, please go crazy.)