sthlm

So far we've been pretty excellent with our checklist.

We have done coffee, walks, pasta and plenty of chats.

And we have now also seen Aragorn on the screen.

Tomorrow we visit the cinema to stare at Thor and his hammer.

I am almost calming down.

Almost. 

Earlier on I managed to explain to A. that I feel "fragmented". 

It's this relentless working passion that I have, and I'm proud of.

But at the same time it means that I get caught in it very very easily.

So the lesson remains - taking breaks.

Learning to understand the importance of breaks.

And just unashamedly taking them, when needs be.

Because all we have, till we die, is Ourselves.

Yours truly.

M.

packing, and emotions

And once again - it's happening!

I'm going somewhere.
Destination this time: STOCKHOLM.




It's been 5 months since my last visit to the Lolcat town and A. and I decided it was simply time for the next leg of this TLN-STHLM romance.
I leave tonight, and back on Monday.

Plans are:
*coffee
*walks
*pastry
*cheeseburger
*movies (ARAGORN)
*sofa

That's it.

So I'm currently just packing, need to shower and get myself into travelling order.
Pisces and I are going to a yoga class before the flight.
It will be such a nice to kick-start an absolutely stress-free weekend.


Not that I've been stressed lately.
It's not stress.
I've just realised how much I repress myself emotionally.
So for the past week I've been concentrating on feeling as much as possible.
This has worked through theatre, a MUSE concert cinema broadcast and some other things.

I'll elaborate on these soon - UH-MAZING.

But in short - overdose.
I thought I'd rather bash myself on the head with feeling-feeling-feeling-feeling-feeling, y'know?
And then do this STHLM break and return calm and ready to deal with emotions on a running daily basis.

Makes sense to me.
And I really hope this actually works in practice as well.

At the moment I'm still too drained from all of it to come to any conclusions or notice a difference.
But I bet it's there, waiting for the storm to calm and then shine like a frikkin' angel.

And so.
I leave you for now.
Off to pack (one pair of jeans, and an array of jumpers), then to curl my hair (just. because) and go to town.
Simple pleasures.
Can't always hang your hat on the hot and heavy.
And when I say this, I do speak from experience.

I tend to get too snobby sometimes for calling time on the analysis.
Analysis is vital.
And I will not back from this.
But sometimes, just curl the hair, and drink the coffee, and wear the pink, and just whatever.
Sometimes just whatever it all, because we don't want you to get tired.


So take a break.


Love and light.
Yours truly.
M.

b r e a k

Spring is here, it's official.
And with the arrival of actual spring comes the arrival of my need for interesting things, or new things, or whatever. Something to touch me and change me and entice me and so forth.
To shift, and shape, and just CHANGE, thanks.

Spring is prime time for the restless souls amongst us.
It gives comfort, whilst creating more of the restlessness.
Double combo.
But it's nice. (what a hideous word)
It's a time when being restless is okay.
Truly okay.
And settling has been forgotten for the season.
That is simply not an option.

No one asks nature if it wants to stay the same. It is not an option.
Spring just happens, and does its thing.
Perfect time for the restless to relish.

Actually, ..I've just thought of this.
Maybe that's why spring has always, always, always been my favourite season.
Not even my "favourite season" just, The Time to Exist, you know?
It's not about a favourite, not about preference.
It
just
is

And this is why autumn always makes me..twitchy.
Because the time for things to stop and freeze is coming.
The stagnation season.
It does horrible things to my insides.

But for now.
This is not the thing.
Spring is the thing.
And I get immense comfort from the true arrival of this Time.
The unstoppable melting, and breaking out, and the energy and the boundless freedom of changing.

b r e a k.
M.

lose

I've been watching Biggest Loser on and off for a long time.
A lot of people don't like it, I get why someone would find it boring, if it's just not their cup of tea. But to passionately not like it, beats me. Calm down.
Whatever.

Point is.
I've watched a lot of it.
First of all, the trainers are heroes. Simple.
Not just because of the workout and nutrition knowledge, but, how they read the people on the Biggest Loser ranch place, how they read them, and work at breaking down their walls, and the walls are high. High, high, high.
I know a few people have tuned in and go, "Oh, I don't like the way they shout at the people" and blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah.
It
is
there
for
a
reason

Seriously.

ANYWAY.
The only reason I'm talking about this is to post some before and afters of the contestants.
This was last season's winner, Danni.



Now then.
A few seasons ago there were these two sisters, Olivia and Hannah.
Hannah had been working towards going to the Olympics as a volleyball player and then had a back injury and it was all over.
So what she did was eat, eat, and do nothing, and pity herself, and she ate some more and just in the middle of all of it just got lost.
This girl was just lost.
And this is where the trainers come in.
This is NOT about dropping the number on the scale! It's just not. They rebuild themselves. The trainers rebuild them. There bodies get so exhausted that their walls break down and they climb out, out of the crap they have decided to surround themselves with. This cold hard layer of "I can't" or "I am too weak" or "I don't know" or whatever. The pity and being the victim. Never being good enough. All of this.
And
they
just
come
out

This is Hannah's before and after. And below her sister Olivia.

When fitness makes you YOU.
M.

TRT

I'm back! Again. My second return in a week, or something.

Tartu was super.
It's our university town in the south of Estonia.
I stayed with some old suuupper friends, and it was so lovely I could almost die.
Both nights revolved around food, tea, food, tea, and chats, more tea and lots more chats, and boardgames. In short, an ideal combo!

It's strange how you have some people with whom it simply doesn't matter when you saw them last, or where or why or whatever, point is, you gel, immediately.
And it's one of the basic fundamental joys of the human life I think. Or at least, I regard it extremely highly.

And so I'm back in the capital, where it's warmer and less snowy.
I got the 7:46am train back with K. which meant a 6:45am wake-up, and now I feel almost like I've never had any sleep ever.
But seriously, this was a super duper 2-night break. So much delicious food, and lots of good atmosphere.
Also, shoutout to "Jane" for being a wonderful-wonderful hostess lady person! (Pingviiiiiniiiiid)

And now my cat is licking his little cat balls in a patch of spring sunshine. (...Too poetic not to share, sorry!)

Now it's tea-time and food time, and then I'm going to the gym, to run on a sunny treadmill and pretend it's warm enough to do that outside.
And lift my weights, like a machine.

Happy Tuesday, guys!

Go, adventure.
M.

Central-Estonia on the bus journey to TRT and snow, snow, snow. Happy mid-March!

Groceries in the bike basket. Simple things

Evening walk last night in the freezing cold. I really liked the lighting on the bridge

Light work, "Snake". Fine by me

Morning train! Hello, TLN.

domani

TLN ✈ STHLM

Once more.

But this time it's different.
A is somewhat buried in academia and I need some time out. What of, I don't quite know. But time out.

So we decided to congregate on her sofa in STHLM, breathe in, breathe out and cook some food.
Because I mean, why not, right?

I'm sure I'm gonna take some lush photos and try and upload some as I'm there (I'm not taking my laptop with me, shock horror). I'm back next Wednesday so it's a pretty perfect 4 night-5 day break. Of course I would prefer it to be 5 month than 5 day break (note the habitual running away to another place as soon as possible) but this will do so nicely.

I hope you, guys, have a lush weekend and that wherever you are spring is coming quiccckkkk. Or at least quicker than in TLN.
Me and my spotty suitcase wave goodbye for now and I'm off to an adventure!!

Go and see.

With love.
M.


And below we have A's shot of STHLM and springtime sun.

anger management

So, let's say you find yourself in a situation, where you have 2 simple options.
A) you break a lot of things that you would not like to get rid of
or B) find a way to NOT do this.

I would personally recommend B.
I mean, yes, it can feel superb, but trust me, the annoyance at having broken your own belongings that arrives after is dull as dishwater. So, stick with B.

My form of anger management.

Obviously followed by the 2nd movement (which is enough to literally tear your heart out with the bittersweet sounds, turn it into and pie and eat it with some vanilla whipped cream), and then the 3rd.

And/or cut your hair.

Nothing that Shostakovich can't fix.
M.

forced ent.

i miss this
i miss sitting through 6 hours of quizoola
and bloody mess
chaos
it really really appeals to the non-control part