patience

i don't understand how much you should have patience or impatience?
i don't understand anything about that at alllllllllll
whuuuuuuuuuuuuut

This is hilarious!
I found this post draft, written on the 16th of March, so 2 months ago.
And this is just so current, still, so therefore, this is hilarious.

Patience.

But the good news is, I'm learning.
I think I'm really learning.
And there's so so much positive hope in that.

Learn.
M.

witches, unite

So, I went to this lecture a few days ago.
The speaker was a woman who was a proper nature-child growing up, then graduated as a med-student, but decided to go back to her roots. And live in the forests, and let her true being shine trough - being a witch.
She shared some really genuine and healthy ideas about living life as a woman, as a human being, as a being of Nature, as an organism, about love, children, choices, bravery, fears, decisions and doubt.

Since women are glorious creatures (with a vast expanse of potential life where our uterus is), we are all a little witch-y.
And apparently no woman can actually access her full (witchy-)potential without having her life sorted first (in terms of the job she has, the living surroundings, her home). There needs to be balance.

And then there's me.
Moaning, literally moaning, when I know exactly, I know with such painful crystal clarity what I need to do.
I need to get clarity in my life. The same clarity of understanding, I need to apply this to my life.
Now.
And then, and only then, will everything else unravel, and very quickly.
And in the right direction.
My path.
I need to transform this gelatinous mess (also known as my life currently), apply some balls, ruthless clarity and turn this mess into something clear and sharp.

And stop thinking of unnecessary things, when I know exactly what I should be thinking about.
Or rather not thinking about.
And doing.
Doing
doing
doing

Life is not a bunch of theory. Life is practice.
It's a practical thing.
All practice.

So let's cut the theory balls, and let's get practical.

Live
your
life
as
the You-est
You

With love.
M.

Earth Day

Yesterday was Earth Day, and I walked my little balls off.
No, like, really.
I walked a crazy amount yesterday.

In town, with some pastry, for a while.
Then kind of, late afternoon, for a long time. I walked into town, from home, took like an hour and a bit.
And then more just before going to bed.
A lot of walking.

But it was super nice, and very therapeutic. Me and Peter Gabriel had a marvellous time.
I mean, really.
Next time I have anything to solve, at all, or release or just get over, that is what I need to do.
Have comfy footwear, have Peter Gabriel in my little earholes and walk, walk, walk.
Besides, the weather was divine.
And the sun was setting.

And I enjoy finding unexpected places or see something really beautiful, or just striking.
This photo does not do it justice, but this sunset was amazing.
Even though it's some crappy parking lot that I have never even properly looked at.

Perpetual quest for balance.
I've always said this, always, for yeeears. And that has always been the thing.
And now I was dealt a superb card to test everything that I think I know.

But spring is here.
And beauty is all over the place.

So go explore.
M.

heaven

..is this.

Simple.
I would literally just stand there, take my sweet time with picking a melon, and stare at the houses/take in some heat.

Heaven is this.
M.

moment

How good is it to just sit down sometimes.

Moment.
M.

macklemore

Love is patient, love is kind

I don't usually enjoy rappers making songs about social injustice because it just doesn't feel sincere, at all (a personal reaction). So I don't rave about it usually.
However, Macklemore has done well, like super well.
This song is just so simple, and I believe him, and actually I believe all of his songs.
Everything from the video to the vocals and the loop, is just so goo.
And yes, Thrift Shop is beyond ingenious, but he has got so many good tracks with so much soul.

So dive into Macklemore.

I love Macklemore.

The kid's got a point.
M.

what i want.

As if we had wings.
M.

now what

So, now what, boys and girls.
Now what?

Uneasy. 
M.

seriously

This is getting ridiculous.

RIDICULOUS.
M.

va-va-voom!

If you want it, I'm gonna be Va-Va-Voom.
I like "too much".

M.

l'été

And as usual, I miss the summer.
But it's coming.

Slowly, but surely, it will come.
M.

hat and snow day!

So I always find that after I've changed my hair, either cut it or dyed it, I wake up the next day thinking "is this ACTUALLY nice?"
Especially the times when I've done it myself.
Like yesterday.
So this morning was one of those.

But luckily I'm still pleased with having a whole bunch of hair in the bin and not on my head anymore.
Also, can I just say, the joy that I feel for being able to have some of my hair in front of my face is unbelievable.

It's snowing fairly decent amounts today. And because it's -2 the snow is actually staying with us.
And therefore I've declared today a snow-day!
And a hat-day!

Happy Hat and Snow Day.
M.

boring

I'm currently bored, by myself. As in, "I" am boring "me".
Hahahaa, such a ridiculous statement! But I mean, really. I can't even like, begin to describe. To be honest, you must have quite a good idea since you read this blog. But you know.
I haven't worn anything but my tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie for I don't even remember how long.

Tomorrow is a day off.
I will take one day, and I will refuse to think about moving.
I'm gonna meet H. in town, and we'll do something fun, exciting, and un-boring!

Current total is 8 boxes, and around 75kg.

Later on I think I need a good-long full-works bath, and to just sit, and watch TV or something like that. Keep up with some Kardashians, or watch the new Grey's anatomy. Or do my nails, some beautifying routines anyway. Something to remind me that there's more to life than dusty boxes, and trying to figure out whether I desperately need this one specific thing in my life or not.

I feel like a sock.
No, thanks.M.

annoying

Okay.
I'm gonna stop being a stroppy asshole of a leftover-teenage now. And get the fuck over it.
Or at least explain it.

So, the reason I'm so annoyed.

A lot of things are shifting right now and it's really confusing the f_ck out of me.
I'm the kind of person who likes keeping a finger on the pulse of things, in my life. Because I don't have a manager or a management to sort my things, I'm so involved with figuring out "where" things are going, what projects to undertake, how to do and what to do and who to do it with.
Which is all fine.
Point is.
A lot is changing, a lot is happening, a lot needs to be decided.

WHICH IS FINE.

But you know, when it's just so much at the same time.
And I'd like someone to tell me anything, just anything at all. Any advice as to how to do stuff.

So far this hasn't explained why I'm so angry at all..
I don't like being angry and not knowing why.
I'm angry cause I'm frustrated, I'm frustrated cause I can't know what stuff is going to be like in a month or so.
Tomorrow I'm gonna make a plan. Sing a concert.
And then after my final gig is done tomorrow, I'm going to remind myself of all the things that are awesome.
And get. some. clarity.

And it will all be fine.
M.