.

Hello, my darlings.

All I'm going to say is.

Be brave.

Lights will always guide you home.

And you'll never be completely alone, ever.

Be brave.

And always wonder at the world.

So you'll never run out of Love.

Be brave. 

I plan to be.

Sure and steady, as the sea.

I'm learning to Trust life.

With love.

Yours truly.

M.

home

You can have the home you want.
Even if you're technically not a million miles away from civilisation.
You can still have the life, the atmosphere.

I saw it today.
Went to a rehearsal.
The guitarist who's summerhouse I was at for a while, this August.
And today we had a rehearsal at his house, technically in Tallinn.
But to the quieter, seaside suburb.

And Jesus wept, what a house.
The same atmosphere as in the summer house.

That's what I want.
I'd never seen anything like that.
That sort of atmosphere, not somewhere far far far away.

Magic.


Yours truly.
M.

home comforts

This and this.

Since two-thirds of the summer are over, there's a part of me that already has an eye on the coming of autumn.
It is forever on my mind.
Time for home comforts.



Another thing I found was this.
I really want a wall like this.
My homage to sea, which I love, all quiet, terrible and utterly free.
It is where I'm most at peace.



I feel really ..un-ordered.
In my thoughts.
Like, old baggage.
Leftovers.
But, nothing that pen and paper can't handle.

Work to be done.
M.

few days

These past few days have gone by super fast.

Last few gigs done, they've gone super well to carry on our amazing streak and we are almost done now.
One last one to go tomorrow.

And I'm currently in bed with Spanish.
Watching Gordon and drinking tea.
Me, Spanish and The Cat.

I'm so ready to go to Finland and see A. in her summer house.
Just sauna and reading and rowing and drinking tea and swimming and sunning or not, whatever.
So ready for this.
I want some things done beginning of the week, not later than Wednesday - some more, some less practical.
Brother's birthday, I absolutely will go for a massage (my body is so so tired, the touring takes it's toll eventually), sort out my e-mails, sort through my clothes (Spanish and I wanna go for this humongous clothes sale), then take a lot of paper and writing utensils with me and go to Finland. To write, and sketch, and think all the thoughts and write down all the ideas.
Good.

This is such an amazing development from last year.
Vocally, physically, and for me most importantly - psychologically.
By the end of the tour last year I was such a mess, all over.
A. came to visit and she was literally like, calm down, now.
This year has been so enjoyable, and I'm really sad this tour is almost done now.
So awesome, being able to measure development.

Over and out for tonight.

With love.
M.

an actual post

THEY ARRIVED!
My boxes, guys! They arrived!

Oh my heavens, this feeling of having my things in the same space, creates this incredible atmosphere.
It sounds pretty ridiculous, so simple, so shallow, but honestly, it's not.
It's not about the things, it's about the fact that my life and everything it entails is syncing. The halves are here in the same space as me and it feels so glorious.
It feels like I have dropped the anchor and so I can now stand still, near the harbour, for just a day. Enjoy some sunshine and eat the local food.
Then drag it up again, adjust the sails, and go.

But no one can go forever, without that day near the harbour. That day of sunshine, sea food and tanned faces. Seashells, waves, dancing girls and stray cats. No one. You have to have that day.
So I am having that day.
With all my stuff, here, in my room, right now.

YAYAYYAYAYYAYYAYYYAYYYAYYAYAYAYYYYYYYYY!

Yes.

Take that day. 
M.

eesti

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY COUNTRY.

Roots, roots, roots.
Thank you, universe, for roots, that keep us grounded and in touch with the core of all that matters. To know where to return and to know where to go to charge your batteries.

For the soil, the sea, the culture.

Palju õnne, Eesti.

Home.
M.

repeat

I think this is the first time I'm going to re-post something.
But I was going through some old posts, and this just popped up, and cheered me up.
Not that I particularly needed cheering up even.
It was just there, and so right. And I read it through, and decided I must re-post this.

With love.
M.



As long as there is the sea. The beautiful, beautiful, unforgettable, indescribable, beautiful sea. 
As long as there is sauce to talk about. Plenty of sauce.
As long as we have our health. 
As long as we will not say “no” to everything the universe has got to offer. 
As long as there is all this, it simply must be okay.



As long as there are iced coffees down by the harbour.
As long as there is someone to talk to.
As long as the summers will come again.
As long as there are books, and music.
As long as there's sand in your shoes and a map.
As long as there champagne and skinny dips.
As long as there is CHANCE, for whatever.
As long as there is room to breath and room to change.
As long as there are roots.
As long as there is strength to keep feeling.
The Devil (still) does not play fair.
But if we take a chance every now and then, we might throw him off. M.

first things first

First things first. 

I was checking my blog “facts” and apparently there are people who read it – so, you…  – from quite a few different countries, some of which I don’t have any friends in. Soooo in short, before this gets too sappy and out of hand, thank you for reading.



So.
As promised, the past few days.

Yesterday was awesome.
I got up same time as AJ and went to town with her, in the morning. I walked her to her office and then walked about on my own for a while. It was so weird being right in central with some shops still shut. It’s one of those things – I love being awake early enough to enjoy the “morning time”, but then the next day I’ll rapidly change my mind. A bit of a shame, cause seriously, I like it, a lot.
Then met up with one of my friends from Tallinn who was in town for a bit. So we went and had some egg based deliciousness.
I went and got some seasonal bits and pieces, before flying home. I’ve had a little Christmas list for a while, for family and friends. And after a fairly fun-deprived hermit-style two months it was literally like 5-year-old-o-clock. I was so excited to be out and to be buying socks for someone (don’t judge, they are actually awesome), or some tea for mum and you know. Just little things, but I’d been waiting for it for so long. Oh, and I got a jumper for myself as well – it’s red and has a mothertrucking raindeer on it. I feel that Christmas is not the time for “cool”.
AEM came and met me for some more walking (why I wore heels – no one knows..). We went to have some dinnertime food at the Pizza Express at St. Christopher’s Place, one of my favourite little corners in London. I don’t even know why, it’s just this tiny tiny square, with some shops and food places on it. But there’s two ways of getting there – you can either approach it from the actual road, OR you can enter via this tiiiny pedestrian path, from Oxford Street. And I mean, when I say tiny, I do mean tiny. It’s right there, and people just walk past it. You’ll definitely pass it when walking down Oxford Street. It’s just so sneaky. Like Narnia or something. Minus the lion.
(More pictures to follow.)

Also.
I finally made the “official” announcement to my housemates that I’m moving back to my hometown for a bit – this being Tallinn, Estonia. It hasn’t even begun to sink in yet. I’m gonna have to do something or something whatever over Christmas to make it more concrete. Otherwise it just feels like floof, you know?
Crazy.
But it feels good. This decision.
More about this later I guess, maybe. Maybe not.

So here I am. Sat on a plane. Sitting in the aircraft. In air. Hovering, above actual clouds. Wearing my reindeer jumper. I’ve never written above ground. This is weird.
It always gets me – this whole above clouds business. Cause I mean, they are clouds. The clouds. And then you are above them. Like, what?
I know this entertains A. somewhat, when I get like this. Marvelling at random things, but like, to a slightly weird extent. Like in Croatia, we went for a swim and the water didn’t appear to be much deeper than a couple of meters, and you could see the bottom of the sea clearly, so close. We were swimming really close to the beach. So A. said she thought it was much deeper. Being a mermaid she decided to show this to me and vertically descend, feet first. I was to stay floating, and observe.

And so this 170cm-ish female just went and went and went till she was TINY. AND MY MIND WAS BLOWN. A. came back up and I was like – “HOW IS IT THIS DEEP OMG THE BOTTOM IS RIGHT THERE YOU CAN SEE IT YOU CAN SEE IT”. This of course is all to do with perspective and blah blah, okay I get it. But seriously, it just BLEW my mind. Just seeing her become smaller and smaller, being RIGHT THERE. UGH. Seriously!

As you can see I still haven’t got over this..
Same thing with being above clouds.
M.

LIKE THE SEA

"I
LOVE

YOU
LIKE
THE
SEA"

M.

a perfect day for daydreaming

And laundry.
A perfect day for laundry. Hottest day of the year in London, but there is still a little breeze. So I hung all the washing out. Perfect day for laundry.

My head is full of mixed German and French phrases. Ferocious learning for the summer course tomorrow. Hrvatska was too delicious for working.

A perfect day for daydreaming. About cold coffee, and singing, and The Perfect Date, and the sea, and being home, oh, and finding a cheap flight, and fresh fish (!) and ...I think that's all really. If I daydream about anything else, I'll update.

I've heard the ice-cream truck at least 3 times today. It's nice.

I think, i THINK, that the sea is the love of my life. And I am by no means sure of this, hence the emphasised "think".

Watermelon.
Watermelon.
And curls. And going out.
And the fact that the summer will come again.


I think I want to learn how to make good jam.M.

the rightest bit of wrong

 



As long as there is the sea. The beautiful, beautiful, unforgettable, indescribable, beautiful sea.
As long as there is sauce to talk about. Plenty of sauce.
As long as we have our health.
As long as we will not say “no” to everything the universe has got to offer.
As long as there is all this, it simply must be okay.



As long as there are iced coffees down by the harbour.
As long as there is someone to talk to.
As long as the summers will come again.
As long as there are books, and music.
As long as there's sand in your shoes and a map.
As long as there champagne and skinny dips.
As long as there is CHANCE, for whatever.
As long as there is room to breath and room to change.
As long as there are roots.
As long as there is strength to keep feeling.

The Devil (still) does not play fair.
But if we take a chance every now and then, we might throw him off. M.