the end

Hello, darlings.

Gosh I've been so ..away, somewhere.

Behind some faraway planet.

Some other sphere.

End of the year is drawing near so quickly. 

Basically 56 hours left, to plant a full stop, nice and steady, to complete this thought, and start the new one.

Next year, next sentence.

This New Years will be like that.

I will still wear glitter and sequins and pop something sparkling, but all this club stuff can go do one.

I'm so over it, it's not even funny.

All it does is confuse the energy and mess up your balance.

And the one thing I don't want to happen is my bubble to burst.

There's this wise man here that everyone knows, Igor Mang, and every year he writes a planetary prediction of the upcoming year.

And they are just humorous, literally, how accurate some of it is.

Like details.

Of international and national events.

So I just read parts of his prediction for 2014 which apparently will bring a widespread need for self-fulfillment and the need to "be" someone.

Really make something of yourself, follow your way.

And I mean, it's only appropriate to quote Britney here:

"So get to work, bitch."

I can really feel it, this super mega ennui at not doing enough, but not for someone else, not my family or the omnipresent society and its ideas of right and wrong, but really for myself.

I can see how much time I waste, all the time.

And it was truly necessary this year but not anymore.

This year of the Snake was my year, since I was born as one.

A year of coming home, physically, geographically and mentally-spiritually.

24 and the Snake and the end of some cyclical movements.

But now the next phase is coming and if I don't want to get caught under the stampede of my own will and power, I better act accordingly.

Restricting yourself like that is the dumbest thing, ever.

And I do some dumb sh*t, ask my friends.

But that's actually the most dumbest-est.

So no more.

So here I am, 29th of December, 2013.

A year, 3 months and 19 days after I wrote my first 6-month plan, simply because I was so lost.

Feels like an actual life-time.

Anyone who says you cannot change your character and Fate and all that, right - sorry, not sorry, but I absolutely disagree.

To the thousandth degree.

All you need is a wish, a want to change something and the rest is all a blank page.

Do, change, want, develop, see, listen, grow, shift, morph, concrete to water.

Do

What

You

Want

The only prerequisite is a wish.

A wish for change and a wish for Something Else.

Well well well, what a year this has been.

I think I'll write a little something of this year tomorrow and 31st as well.

But this will do for now.

If I could give you something, I'd give you and myself the Courage to do the thing we see and sense as the right thing.

For us, ourselves, and only ourselves.

After all -

Make sure you can swim first, then go save humanity.

As always, love to alllllll of you.

Yours truly.

M.

perfect

This is a post about perfection.

Okay, so when I was a 5-year-old, my dad asked me why I use the word "hate".
You know, like kids do it, "I hate this", "I hate that", "I hate peas", et cetera.
So he said, why not say "dislike".
He told me the word "hate" had a lot of negative energy, for me and for others, using a word that strong, that powerful.
So I dropped it, and I don't use it.
I just don't.
I rarely, rarely - rarely - close enough to almost say "never", feel strong enough to "hate" anything, at all.
Strong dislike? Sure.
Hate? No.

I will now.
I hate this search for "perfect", or "perfection".
I hate it.
The Perfect Wedding, the Perfect Man, the PERFECT holiday, the PERFECT dress, the PERFECT hair, the PERFECT PERFECTION.
Seriously.

(.. keep going with me.)

The thing is.
To seek perfection or to seek The Perfect person or state, implies that at some point we get to stop working, and stop growing.
It implies that at some point change will stop occurring.
Therefore, it implies the arrival of stagnation.
Blissful (I'm sure), yet stupid stagnation.
Almost like a catatonic state.

The question is not whether "perfect" exists in this world or not.
I don't care.
The point is that we simply do not - and honestly do not - need it.
We don't need it.
It does us no good.
No good, at all, as living, breathing, sweating, bleeding human beings.
We are alive.
This implies not being stagnant! Ever.
Stagnation in human beings implies a flat-line.
No heartbeat, no blood pressure, no cells growing, and renewing.
Perfection makes us strive for a goal, an end-point, when we really should have two eyes focused on the journey.
This magical, awesome, brilliant journey.
Also called Life.
There is no "perfect", there is no end point.

There is just the boundless giving random-ness of the great Universe kaleidoscope.

Perfect has nothing to do with it.


It's like this phrase: Picture Perfect.
But you know what? It's also un-alive.
And I come at this as someone who has the highest regard for the art of photography, photographers and photos.
I really do value it as an art and respect it, but real life?
Real life is not picture perfect.
This endless talk about - this looks perfect, and that looks perfect.
Fine for selling something, an advertisement, or dolls, and of course snapshots of our memories.
But we cannot be Picture Perfect because we are alive.
And that is magical.
And I don't see why anyone would ever want to change that.
Change the magic of being alive for giving into the hunt for this rigidity.

We are alive, so alive.
Perfection cannot be duplicated.
Maybe newborns are perfect?
Maybe the fact that the sun rises and sets, is perfect?
Maybe flower-like frost on a window, is perfect?
Or maybe laughing till you cry with friends?
But it cannot be manufactured.
It happens.
Maybe it exists after-all.
But to chase it would be certain death for the living cell.

It just Is.
We just Are.

So let's just Be.

Yours truly.
Love and light, as always.
M.

Viggo Mortensen

Maria's inspirational men, number 3.
At least.













And so ladies and gentlemen.
Let's look at Viggo.

Son of a farmer, spent his childhood everywhere - Venezuela, Argentina, Denmark.
In addition to acting, he is also a poet, a photographer and a painter.
After graduating from university in the States, he moved back to Denmark, driven by a need for a defining purpose in life. During this time he worked some odd jobs, including dock worker, truck driver and flower seller.
He speaks English, Danish, Spanish, French, Swedish and Norwegian.
He is a super horseman.

Oh, he is also a jazz musician.

The versatility, the languages, the quality of his work, the films.
I just find him so awesome, so talented and warm.

Viggo.
M.

"Life is short... I like to pay attention while I'm going through it. Whatever I see, like anyone else, I'm going to filter it and create my own idea of what it is. - on painting, creating music, writing poetry, and taking photographs in addition to acting."

sense

this makes the most sense
out of anything
ever

no knowledge is knowledge unless you make it yours
unless this means something to you it's useless
so even if someone you respect to the Moon and back says something and you simply don't agree with, you don't have to bend your mind to do that

if it matters to you, keep it.
if it makes sense to you, believe it.
if it makes you feel clarity, follow it.

it doesn't matter whether it's a system or whether you've borrowed bits and pieces from here and there - if it is something that makes you grounded and hopeful and excited, if this knowledge is yours, that is the only thing that matters.

Sense.
M.

eyes

I truly wanna squint into the sun.
Eyes almost shut, and so much light coming in.
Light and warmth.

I wanna squint into the sun.

Sense.
M.

bebe

Just a little photo of me and my brother way way back.
It has no particular relevance, I just really like the atmosphere.

I think I look exactly the same pretty much, just more hair.
And I'm pleased that my brother and I are still tight and do banter.

Childhood.
M.

kawasaki

Audrey Kawasaki.

There's just something really-really very-very in her images.

images. 
M.

retrograde

So, apparently Mercury has been in retrograde for quite a while now, and shall remain like this until the 17th of March. (Potential after-effects till the 6th of April.)

This is meant to come with a period of high intuition, lots of awesome coincidences but also the chance of our plans not working out the way we hoped.
This period is good for rethinking, rewriting and reviewing. Not good for big solid decisions.
And it usually comes with a big old sprinkling of chaos.
So basically, don't take things personally, meet up with old friends and - as a dear, dear, dear friend said to me years ago - trust yourself to chance, and see what happens.

This blogger/designer/persona Audrey Kitching has written an article about how to ride this wave.
For those of you who feel it, read it.
I'm gonna figure out whether I sense it or whether is it just the fact that it's the time around my birthday.

Either way, makes for an interesting google session.

http://audrey.buzznet.com/photos/20waystosurvivemercu/

Mercury.
M.


And a shot of Audrey.

bare bones

I don't like Rihanna's image and I don't like the vast majority of her music.
This, however, is not in that category, at all.
On the contrary.

I threw my hands in the air I said show me something

Something in the way you move.
M.

loneliness

(This following post was brought about by the fact that I just saw an old friend who I used to be really close with in school, just when I moved here. And up until today, hadn't seen him in 4 years.)

Okay, so.
There's this thing that really confuses me. This thing that I do.

I make myself lonely.

Explanation.
I have lots of friends and lots and lots of acquaintances, that I've just gathered from Estonia and UK and all around the place, with these (almost) 7 years of travelling and roaming about the place.

Then I just seem to do my best not to see them.
And then I feel lonely.

Is it just me or like, this just does not make any sense, at all?

Okay, I would get it if I don't see anyone (apart from like my main 5-6 people) and then I'm absolutely jumping off the walls over the moon happy with this situation.
But this is not the case.

So therefore, through some logical-deduction, this makes no sense. At all.

If I don't want to be lonely, why do I make myself lonely?
Why do I cut myself off from all these people who would like to see me, or hear from me, or both?

Granted, I like solitude, form time to time. I like living in a serene, quiet surrounding - okay, fine.
But to self-create this loneliness? Think that I have to friends or people and almost envy those who do? When it's actually me who's creating this.
NON
SEN
SI
CAL

I mean, I have no idea.
M.


(If there is anyone else who does this, please please let me know why would anyone actually do this.)

heartbeats

Heartbeats.
HEAD HEART.
Poor, poor you.

No thing makes sense, M.