I'm not a virtual girl.
I'm not.
I'm a real life girl.
I remember this feeling so well.
And here I am, two months later, in bed and wide-eyed like a kid before Christmas.
Maybe it's all just the coffee.
_______
03/12/16
And now here I am, two-plus-something years later and I have let this lead me.
Everywhere and anywhere, let this lead me above and through and always over and under.
I'm not virtual, I am very much real.
I have had these moments lately of really remembering what I was like as a child. Not remembering in a sense of having this abstract memory of something distant, a fleeting image, something vague. But really remembering. Feeling. Feeling the memory. Feeling the feeling. The heart I used to have.
I used to believe in such fantastical happily-ever-afters it just blows my mind how much joy a heart could hold. And hope more-so than joy. Hope. How much hope and belief in what is to come.
And then you wake up one day years later and to your own sadness see that despite really trying your heart did harden after all.
This is also the reason why I used to have this constant over-whelming love of love, anywhere I found it. I guess you see the light that will lead you home.
Maybe it's all just the coffee.
_______
03/12/16
And now here I am, two-plus-something years later and I have let this lead me.
Everywhere and anywhere, let this lead me above and through and always over and under.
I'm not virtual, I am very much real.
I have had these moments lately of really remembering what I was like as a child. Not remembering in a sense of having this abstract memory of something distant, a fleeting image, something vague. But really remembering. Feeling. Feeling the memory. Feeling the feeling. The heart I used to have.
I used to believe in such fantastical happily-ever-afters it just blows my mind how much joy a heart could hold. And hope more-so than joy. Hope. How much hope and belief in what is to come.
And then you wake up one day years later and to your own sadness see that despite really trying your heart did harden after all.
This is also the reason why I used to have this constant over-whelming love of love, anywhere I found it. I guess you see the light that will lead you home.
But I think I am very close now to letting my heart be what it was a long time ago.
I think I am standing at the very door.
"Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.”
Charles Dickens
