Learning.
M.
Tuesday, April 30
Monday, April 29
Sunday, April 28
bla bla
There's been a load of "bla bla" in my head lately.
Which also coincides with no meditation.
So there's a big fat point in this.
At least for me.
Lesson to be learnt: sit and breathe, child. Sit and breathe.
Meditating isn't anything else or more complex.
Clarity of mind, sat or not, doesn't matter.
It's just I like sitting.
Even in recklessness, heal your hearts.
BLA BLA, go home.
M.
Which also coincides with no meditation.
So there's a big fat point in this.
At least for me.
Lesson to be learnt: sit and breathe, child. Sit and breathe.
Meditating isn't anything else or more complex.
Clarity of mind, sat or not, doesn't matter.
It's just I like sitting.
Even in recklessness, heal your hearts.
BLA BLA, go home.
M.
all for less
This song.
Kills my insides.
Somehow.
If you have some time, please give it a watch.
Repeat.
M.
Kills my insides.
Somehow.
If you have some time, please give it a watch.
Repeat.
M.
Saturday, April 27
wellies
Having some wellies is just so good.
(Still don't understand what my camera resolution is up to.)
Wear more wellies.
M.
(Still don't understand what my camera resolution is up to.)
Wear more wellies.
M.
sing your song
There is a tribe in Africa where the birth date of a child is counted not from when they were born, nor from when they are conceived but from the day that the child was a thought in its mother’s mind. And when a woman decides that she will have a child, she goes off and sits under a tree, by herself, and she listens until she can hear the song of the child that wants to come.
And after she’s heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child’s father, and teaches it to him. And then, when they make love to physically conceive the child, some of that time they sing the song of the child, as a way to invite it.
And then, when the mother is pregnant, the mother teaches that child’s song to the midwives and the old women of the village, so that when the child is born, the old women and the people around her sing the child’s song to welcome it.
And then, as the child grows up, the other villagers are taught the child’s song. If the child falls, or hurts its knee, someone picks it up and sings its song to it. Or perhaps the child does something wonderful, or goes through the rites of puberty, then as a way of honoring this person, the people of the village sing his or her song.
In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them.
The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.
And it goes this way through their life.
In marriage, the songs are sung, together.
And finally, when this child is lying in bed, ready to die, all the villagers know his or her song, and they sing—for the last time—the song to that person.
You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not.
When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn’t. In the end, we shall all recognize our song and sing it well.
You may feel a little warbly at the moment, but so have all the great singers. Just keep singing and you’ll find your way home.
And after she’s heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child’s father, and teaches it to him. And then, when they make love to physically conceive the child, some of that time they sing the song of the child, as a way to invite it.
And then, when the mother is pregnant, the mother teaches that child’s song to the midwives and the old women of the village, so that when the child is born, the old women and the people around her sing the child’s song to welcome it.
And then, as the child grows up, the other villagers are taught the child’s song. If the child falls, or hurts its knee, someone picks it up and sings its song to it. Or perhaps the child does something wonderful, or goes through the rites of puberty, then as a way of honoring this person, the people of the village sing his or her song.
In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them.
The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.
And it goes this way through their life.
In marriage, the songs are sung, together.
And finally, when this child is lying in bed, ready to die, all the villagers know his or her song, and they sing—for the last time—the song to that person.
You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not.
When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn’t. In the end, we shall all recognize our song and sing it well.
You may feel a little warbly at the moment, but so have all the great singers. Just keep singing and you’ll find your way home.
http://thegodmolecule.tumblr.com/
Sing your song.
M.
unexpected friend
Hello, sunshine!
You unexpected friend!
This situation of course presents an interesting change in things.
Sunshine just does this, y'know.
I just got home, and now I've devised the perfect - and I mean, the perfect - set up.
The best one I've discovered living here so far. And that's been 4 years.
I carried the rocking chair to my room, to face the window.
I have my cup of tea and the cat at arms length.
And I'm watching the Biggest Loser with the big speakers attached.
I mean.
Yes.
I haven't had a home day in so so so so so so so long.
I would like to do some laundry, and cut my hair.
And just listen to MY music, real loud.
Real loud.
So here I am.
In my black trakkies, in the rocking chair.
I need to do some work stuff, and I'll see E. later.
PS, judging by that photo I should clean the mirror as well.
Happy Saturday, guys.
M.
You unexpected friend!
This situation of course presents an interesting change in things.
Sunshine just does this, y'know.
I just got home, and now I've devised the perfect - and I mean, the perfect - set up.
The best one I've discovered living here so far. And that's been 4 years.
I carried the rocking chair to my room, to face the window.
I have my cup of tea and the cat at arms length.
And I'm watching the Biggest Loser with the big speakers attached.
I mean.
Yes.
I haven't had a home day in so so so so so so so long.
I would like to do some laundry, and cut my hair.
And just listen to MY music, real loud.
Real loud.
So here I am.
In my black trakkies, in the rocking chair.
I need to do some work stuff, and I'll see E. later.
PS, judging by that photo I should clean the mirror as well.
Happy Saturday, guys.
M.
Friday, April 26
out
Rainy-cat is going out.
In floral wellies.
And what.
Also, it genuinely looks like my webcam is dying.
I mean, what resolution is that.
But wellies make EVERYTHING awesome.
Rainy days.
M.
In floral wellies.
And what.
Also, it genuinely looks like my webcam is dying.
I mean, what resolution is that.
But wellies make EVERYTHING awesome.
Rainy days.
M.
people
So what about the people to fan our flame?
How and where do we draw a line?
I mean.
What?
What
what
what
Fan your flame.
Is that a purpose?
Is that a necessity?
What the f*ck.
I don't even know.
Whatever.
M.
Not "whatever" though, you know?
That's the point.
This is NOT "whatever".
This is important.
How and where do we draw a line?
I mean.
What?
What
what
what
Fan your flame.
Is that a purpose?
Is that a necessity?
What the f*ck.
I don't even know.
Whatever.
M.
Not "whatever" though, you know?
That's the point.
This is NOT "whatever".
This is important.
aujourd'hui
Today.
Oh, today.
What shall we do with you.
I mean, either I'm weird, or this is some sunshine disorder, or whatever.
Yesterday I was so full of everything, life and energy and desire to do stuff, mainly.
None of which is here today.
And neither is the sunshine.
Actually, the sun was so lush yesterday, I caught a bit of a face-tan.
I mean, mega.
But today is not yesterday.
Today is gray and real quiet, and a little somber.
A somber Friday.
I do have quite a lot to do, but somber-ness and me don't make for a very good working combo.
Besides, Place beyond the pines (yesterday) really put me in a little hole.
I think I'm partially still in it.
But no, today has potential to be very very excellent indeed.
So let's turn this around, very soon, and properly.
I think this is the biggest thing that has changed.
I used to think that I can't and therefore didn't want to change my "bad" days.
But that is so different now.
I don't enjoy this anymore, at all.
Which means I have a choice.
And today, I choose to have a "good" day. No, really, a good day.
And see the people who want to see me, and I want to see.
Do the things I need to do.
Do the things I can do, and want to do.
And live a little you know.
I choose.
M.
Oh, today.
What shall we do with you.
I mean, either I'm weird, or this is some sunshine disorder, or whatever.
Yesterday I was so full of everything, life and energy and desire to do stuff, mainly.
None of which is here today.
And neither is the sunshine.
Actually, the sun was so lush yesterday, I caught a bit of a face-tan.
I mean, mega.
But today is not yesterday.
Today is gray and real quiet, and a little somber.
A somber Friday.
I do have quite a lot to do, but somber-ness and me don't make for a very good working combo.
Besides, Place beyond the pines (yesterday) really put me in a little hole.
I think I'm partially still in it.
But no, today has potential to be very very excellent indeed.
So let's turn this around, very soon, and properly.
I think this is the biggest thing that has changed.
I used to think that I can't and therefore didn't want to change my "bad" days.
But that is so different now.
I don't enjoy this anymore, at all.
Which means I have a choice.
And today, I choose to have a "good" day. No, really, a good day.
And see the people who want to see me, and I want to see.
Do the things I need to do.
Do the things I can do, and want to do.
And live a little you know.
I choose.
M.
Thursday, April 25
b r e a k
Spring is here, it's official.
And with the arrival of actual spring comes the arrival of my need for interesting things, or new things, or whatever. Something to touch me and change me and entice me and so forth.
To shift, and shape, and just CHANGE, thanks.
Spring is prime time for the restless souls amongst us.
It gives comfort, whilst creating more of the restlessness.
Double combo.
But it's nice. (what a hideous word)
It's a time when being restless is okay.
Truly okay.
And settling has been forgotten for the season.
That is simply not an option.
No one asks nature if it wants to stay the same. It is not an option.
Spring just happens, and does its thing.
Perfect time for the restless to relish.
Actually, ..I've just thought of this.
Maybe that's why spring has always, always, always been my favourite season.
Not even my "favourite season" just, The Time to Exist, you know?
It's not about a favourite, not about preference.
It
just
is
And this is why autumn always makes me..twitchy.
Because the time for things to stop and freeze is coming.
The stagnation season.
It does horrible things to my insides.
But for now.
This is not the thing.
Spring is the thing.
And I get immense comfort from the true arrival of this Time.
The unstoppable melting, and breaking out, and the energy and the boundless freedom of changing.
b r e a k.
M.
MARVEL
Iron Man 3 and the second Thor.
Dying.
I mean.
Let's face it.
I am Nordic Warrior.
And therefore this Thor madness just tickles my soul.
And Iron Man is a h e r o. I mean, the guy's an engineer.
And Robert is so cool.
Lots of Marvel excitement.
Geek-o'clock.
M.
Dying.
I mean.
Let's face it.
I am Nordic Warrior.
And therefore this Thor madness just tickles my soul.
And Iron Man is a h e r o. I mean, the guy's an engineer.
And Robert is so cool.
Lots of Marvel excitement.
Geek-o'clock.
M.
Wednesday, April 24
Tuesday, April 23
Earth Day
Yesterday was Earth Day, and I walked my little balls off.
No, like, really.
I walked a crazy amount yesterday.
In town, with some pastry, for a while.
Then kind of, late afternoon, for a long time. I walked into town, from home, took like an hour and a bit.
And then more just before going to bed.
A lot of walking.
But it was super nice, and very therapeutic. Me and Peter Gabriel had a marvellous time.
I mean, really.
Next time I have anything to solve, at all, or release or just get over, that is what I need to do.
Have comfy footwear, have Peter Gabriel in my little earholes and walk, walk, walk.
Besides, the weather was divine.
And the sun was setting.
And I enjoy finding unexpected places or see something really beautiful, or just striking.
This photo does not do it justice, but this sunset was amazing.
Even though it's some crappy parking lot that I have never even properly looked at.
Perpetual quest for balance.
I've always said this, always, for yeeears. And that has always been the thing.
And now I was dealt a superb card to test everything that I think I know.
But spring is here.
And beauty is all over the place.
So go explore.
M.
No, like, really.
I walked a crazy amount yesterday.
In town, with some pastry, for a while.
Then kind of, late afternoon, for a long time. I walked into town, from home, took like an hour and a bit.
And then more just before going to bed.
A lot of walking.
But it was super nice, and very therapeutic. Me and Peter Gabriel had a marvellous time.
I mean, really.
Next time I have anything to solve, at all, or release or just get over, that is what I need to do.
Have comfy footwear, have Peter Gabriel in my little earholes and walk, walk, walk.
Besides, the weather was divine.
And the sun was setting.
And I enjoy finding unexpected places or see something really beautiful, or just striking.
This photo does not do it justice, but this sunset was amazing.
Even though it's some crappy parking lot that I have never even properly looked at.
Perpetual quest for balance.
I've always said this, always, for yeeears. And that has always been the thing.
And now I was dealt a superb card to test everything that I think I know.
But spring is here.
And beauty is all over the place.
So go explore.
M.
Monday, April 22
Sunday, April 21
today
Today was a day for calming down.
So I went into town, bought 3 bits of pastry - a mango puff pastry thing, a sugar icing puff pastry pretzel, a spinach and feta pastry - and got a coffee, and then I went for a long walk.
Me and Peter Gabriel in my ears.
It was divine.
Me and Tallinn.
Saturday.
M.
So I went into town, bought 3 bits of pastry - a mango puff pastry thing, a sugar icing puff pastry pretzel, a spinach and feta pastry - and got a coffee, and then I went for a long walk.
Me and Peter Gabriel in my ears.
It was divine.
Me and Tallinn.
Saturday.
M.
Saturday, April 20
songstress
Thursday was double-gig day.
We hit the road around midday, first gig at 2pm, then left 3.30pm, just made it to the next gig like 20 minutes before, 7pm start, 8.30pm started driving back and hit TLN just before midnight.
The gigs went super well.
I haven't sung a full length concert in a while, so it was hard work - sweat.com - but the energy was amazing.
However, I did manage to viciously burn my tongue back stage with some hot water, which I forgot was hot..well done.
In my anger I decided to pap this situation.
And I also got to wear my allllltime favourite performance dress.
So all around lovely times.
And now I'm heading to town because the weather is amazing and I'm gonna go for a walk with the spanish one.
S p r i n g i s c o m i n g.
Actually, I don't look very enthusiastic in either of the photos, but I promise I was!
With love, as always.
M.
We hit the road around midday, first gig at 2pm, then left 3.30pm, just made it to the next gig like 20 minutes before, 7pm start, 8.30pm started driving back and hit TLN just before midnight.
The gigs went super well.
I haven't sung a full length concert in a while, so it was hard work - sweat.com - but the energy was amazing.
However, I did manage to viciously burn my tongue back stage with some hot water, which I forgot was hot..well done.
In my anger I decided to pap this situation.
And I also got to wear my allllltime favourite performance dress.
So all around lovely times.
And now I'm heading to town because the weather is amazing and I'm gonna go for a walk with the spanish one.
S p r i n g i s c o m i n g.
Actually, I don't look very enthusiastic in either of the photos, but I promise I was!
With love, as always.
M.
kaleidoscope eyes
I really, really like losing track of time with someone.
Completely.
I mean, so much.
This track below, Time by Pachanga boys, I mean, if you have 15 minutes of time to give your ears, head, heart and soul something pretty amazing, listen to it.
Losing
This track below, Time by Pachanga boys, I mean, if you have 15 minutes of time to give your ears, head, heart and soul something pretty amazing, listen to it.
Losing
track
of
time
Yesterday was amazing.
Kaleidoscope eyes, baby.
M.
M.
Wednesday, April 17
experience, my darling
Okay, I feel like I should write a semi-conclusive post about the experiences I've had of late.
There's so much stuff that I think I'm already starting to forget.
And I don't write this up anywhere.
So, where do we start.
Prince Rama and the birthday of the Cinema "Friendship", yesterday.
And the girls being super.
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive. Thankyou, A.
Make my systems blow.
New friends and people, S. and K. and E. a little.
And going out with K, and V.
RHIZOME.
Mutantants.
Tallinn Music Week in Von Krahl.
And Inga Copeland in Von Krahl - the music music music
Spanish one's truth time hitting the nail
on the head
Dance more
Dance
so much dancing lately
Easter service singing
Skype conference talking.
More safety in my own decisions
Della Reese and my ringtone "Come on a my house".
Best decision ever
ever
And one of the songs K sent me just making me get up, around 1am, and spending 6 minutes upside down. Mostly in downward dog, leg up, and trying to get back to my friend, supported headstand.
Why
no one knows
And Hallelujah emerging.
Last time I listened to that, 2nd of September 2006.
And it came back last night
Like I told myself not to listen to it unless I'm home.
Dying my hair dark
Lifting heavy stuff
Warrior time
Rhizome Rave
And new people, new people
And K and M-L.
Just, YES.
YES
And dancing with A.
The dancing
And whiskey shots and freedom
And my Guru cousin's lectures and seminars.
New insight
And logical insight
Techniques and things to do, how to get rid of the unwanted.
And everything to do with his place, Lilleoru.
Flowervalley
Looking for things to fan my flames.
The greedy kid being not greedy.
Change yourself and the world around you will change.
In conclusion.
The not-so-subtle message:
WELCOME
TO
THE
NEW
AGE
I Give Thanks.
M.
Ps, I bet I'll read this back in some time, and not understand one. single. thing.
Whatever.
And below, my trusty, trusty, trusty, trusty Hamsa.
There's so much stuff that I think I'm already starting to forget.
And I don't write this up anywhere.
So, where do we start.
Prince Rama and the birthday of the Cinema "Friendship", yesterday.
And the girls being super.
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive. Thankyou, A.
Make my systems blow.
New friends and people, S. and K. and E. a little.
And going out with K, and V.
RHIZOME.
Mutantants.
Tallinn Music Week in Von Krahl.
And Inga Copeland in Von Krahl - the music music music
Spanish one's truth time hitting the nail
on the head
Dance more
Dance
so much dancing lately
Easter service singing
Skype conference talking.
More safety in my own decisions
Della Reese and my ringtone "Come on a my house".
Best decision ever
ever
And one of the songs K sent me just making me get up, around 1am, and spending 6 minutes upside down. Mostly in downward dog, leg up, and trying to get back to my friend, supported headstand.
Why
no one knows
And Hallelujah emerging.
Last time I listened to that, 2nd of September 2006.
And it came back last night
Like I told myself not to listen to it unless I'm home.
Dying my hair dark
Lifting heavy stuff
Warrior time
Rhizome Rave
And new people, new people
And K and M-L.
Just, YES.
YES
And dancing with A.
The dancing
And whiskey shots and freedom
And my Guru cousin's lectures and seminars.
New insight
And logical insight
Techniques and things to do, how to get rid of the unwanted.
And everything to do with his place, Lilleoru.
Flowervalley
Looking for things to fan my flames.
The greedy kid being not greedy.
Change yourself and the world around you will change.
In conclusion.
The not-so-subtle message:
WELCOME
TO
THE
NEW
AGE
I Give Thanks.
M.
Ps, I bet I'll read this back in some time, and not understand one. single. thing.
Whatever.
And below, my trusty, trusty, trusty, trusty Hamsa.
make my systems blow
So last night I got my mind blown.
By Prince Rama.
I mean.
It was enough to make my systems blow, into specks of stardust or something.
Crazy good.
Such an experience.
Such a shake, in the right direction.
Such force and the beat and the pulse and the power.
A
maze
balls.
And I spoke to the girls after and they were just so lovely and warm so it was absolutely super awesome over-all.
My heart chakra did a gratitude dance.
Open.
M.
By Prince Rama.
I mean.
It was enough to make my systems blow, into specks of stardust or something.
Crazy good.
Such an experience.
Such a shake, in the right direction.
Such force and the beat and the pulse and the power.
A
maze
balls.
And I spoke to the girls after and they were just so lovely and warm so it was absolutely super awesome over-all.
My heart chakra did a gratitude dance.
Open.
M.
Monday, April 15
MUSIC
Oh my JESUS what new FRESH music does to me!
My spleen has been doing an excited dance for a few hours now!
And it's SO NICE.
Hello, spring, hello, doing things, and hello, no fear.
I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new ageI'm Radioactive, Radioactive
Radioactive.
M.
My spleen has been doing an excited dance for a few hours now!
And it's SO NICE.
Hello, spring, hello, doing things, and hello, no fear.
I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new ageI'm Radioactive, Radioactive
Radioactive.
M.
prince rama
This is insane(-ly good).
New age glitter madness from Brooklyn.
I mean, just listen to this song.
This makes me want to dance on a meadow, naked and glittery.
With horses, at dawn.
And I don't know.
Flowers in my hair.
And I mean, really do that.
Really do that.
Prince Rama - "So Destroyed".
DANCE YOUR SOUL OUT.
M.
New age glitter madness from Brooklyn.
I mean, just listen to this song.
This makes me want to dance on a meadow, naked and glittery.
With horses, at dawn.
And I don't know.
Flowers in my hair.
And I mean, really do that.
Really do that.
Prince Rama - "So Destroyed".
DANCE YOUR SOUL OUT.
M.
100
My 100th download was the finale of Dexter Season 7.
This pleases me.
Oh, Michael.
Seriously.
So good.
Dexter.
M.
This pleases me.
Oh, Michael.
Seriously.
So good.
Dexter.
M.
heaven
..is this.
Simple.
I would literally just stand there, take my sweet time with picking a melon, and stare at the houses/take in some heat.
Heaven is this.
M.
Simple.
I would literally just stand there, take my sweet time with picking a melon, and stare at the houses/take in some heat.
Heaven is this.
M.
pianos
I was a good pianist once upon a time.
I finished my actual piano lessons when I was 16, and then after I moved to London I stopped playing.
Even though I could have used the music school pianos at Chigwell.
Stupid.
But, anyway, bottomline, I miss it so much.
We have a piano at home, but an electric one. Which makes me sad.
It's a good piano, but it has no soul.
So I don't want to play it.
However, I realised something, some time ago.
That during the tours I have access to so so so many grand pianos, at different venues.
So my plan is to use the piano at home to get myself back into playing, and prepare some pieces, so when I have time before the tour concerts I can whack my music out and just binge hardcore on grand pianos.
This excites me so much, but in a very, profoundly blissful way, honestly.
I used to iron out all sorts of emotions and problems with playing and practising.
I still have our old piano, it's in my room, but it's not really in working condition because it doesn't stay in tune. It was my grandfather Viktor Friedrich's piano. (That name doesn't sound too Estonian, does it?) And it carries so much sentimental value.
It's my piano, you know?
Play.
M.
I finished my actual piano lessons when I was 16, and then after I moved to London I stopped playing.
Even though I could have used the music school pianos at Chigwell.
Stupid.
But, anyway, bottomline, I miss it so much.
We have a piano at home, but an electric one. Which makes me sad.
It's a good piano, but it has no soul.
So I don't want to play it.
However, I realised something, some time ago.
That during the tours I have access to so so so many grand pianos, at different venues.
So my plan is to use the piano at home to get myself back into playing, and prepare some pieces, so when I have time before the tour concerts I can whack my music out and just binge hardcore on grand pianos.
This excites me so much, but in a very, profoundly blissful way, honestly.
I used to iron out all sorts of emotions and problems with playing and practising.
I still have our old piano, it's in my room, but it's not really in working condition because it doesn't stay in tune. It was my grandfather Viktor Friedrich's piano. (That name doesn't sound too Estonian, does it?) And it carries so much sentimental value.
It's my piano, you know?
Play.
M.
Sunday, April 14
Saturday, April 13
sthlm
I miss A, boo-hoo, and I miss STHLM.
BUT, much more importantly, our adventures.
It's been a month since I visited last but feels so much longer.
And the thing is, we don't have a set date for the next Chaos and Mayhem reunion.
So.
You know.
Unfairness of the Universe, but HEY, whatever.
This was taken in the White Room, in March, by Mr. Borovic.
Mayhem.
AP+ML.
BUT, much more importantly, our adventures.
It's been a month since I visited last but feels so much longer.
And the thing is, we don't have a set date for the next Chaos and Mayhem reunion.
So.
You know.
Unfairness of the Universe, but HEY, whatever.
This was taken in the White Room, in March, by Mr. Borovic.
Mayhem.
AP+ML.
brain
So, brain.
No, seriously.
My subconscious has really very strongly got into a habit of late of doing it's dirty dirty washing as I sleep. Of course this happens to all of us that sometimes we have unresolved crap which then goes into the wonderful subconscious.
But I'm genuinely bored of this.
Stuff that I don't actively think about.
Stuff that shouldn't be a negative thing.
Stuff that I don't want to think about.
Stuff that just doesn't belong, anywhere.
But last night was a great night. K and M-L are in town from TRT for the weekend, and I was so truly super excited! And so very pleased.
Like, just so fresh and like, I don't even know.
Awesome-sauce tripled.
So much dancing, and so much super fun. Seriously.
I'm super grateful for this.
And tonight plans to carry on this vibe.
E and I are joining forces later, to see what comes out of that egg-shell this time around.
Go rest, brain.
M.
No, seriously.
My subconscious has really very strongly got into a habit of late of doing it's dirty dirty washing as I sleep. Of course this happens to all of us that sometimes we have unresolved crap which then goes into the wonderful subconscious.
But I'm genuinely bored of this.
Stuff that I don't actively think about.
Stuff that shouldn't be a negative thing.
Stuff that I don't want to think about.
Stuff that just doesn't belong, anywhere.
But last night was a great night. K and M-L are in town from TRT for the weekend, and I was so truly super excited! And so very pleased.
Like, just so fresh and like, I don't even know.
Awesome-sauce tripled.
So much dancing, and so much super fun. Seriously.
I'm super grateful for this.
And tonight plans to carry on this vibe.
E and I are joining forces later, to see what comes out of that egg-shell this time around.
Go rest, brain.
M.
Friday, April 12
wanderlust
My wanderlust is just out of control.
It's all I think about, every day, basically all the time.
Just this need to go and explore and adventure.
This is not a need to "go on a holiday", or to get a tan or get drunk in beach-side bars.
It's just a true yearning (the purest of these I've ever had) to go and see and explore.
This is just out of control.
Out of control wanderlust.
To See, and Breathe.
I just want to wander/wonder with an open heart with room for it to be Open.
With space, and freedom, and the safety to open up which comes with this freedom.
I mean, to be honest. I don't really need to leave the country for this.
This is not the point.
There's plenty to See here, on this tiny speck of wild land.
Plan.
Everything is possible.
I just need to plan.
Plan, plan, plan.
At least, I know what I need, and what I truly desire.
And that is good.
M.
Don't ever deny yourself your true nature.
It's all I think about, every day, basically all the time.
Just this need to go and explore and adventure.
This is not a need to "go on a holiday", or to get a tan or get drunk in beach-side bars.
It's just a true yearning (the purest of these I've ever had) to go and see and explore.
This is just out of control.
Out of control wanderlust.
To See, and Breathe.
I just want to wander/wonder with an open heart with room for it to be Open.
With space, and freedom, and the safety to open up which comes with this freedom.
I mean, to be honest. I don't really need to leave the country for this.
This is not the point.
There's plenty to See here, on this tiny speck of wild land.
Plan.
Everything is possible.
I just need to plan.
Plan, plan, plan.
At least, I know what I need, and what I truly desire.
And that is good.
M.
Don't ever deny yourself your true nature.
Thursday, April 11
sense
this makes the most sense
out of anything
ever
no knowledge is knowledge unless you make it yours
unless this means something to you it's useless
so even if someone you respect to the Moon and back says something and you simply don't agree with, you don't have to bend your mind to do that
if it matters to you, keep it.
if it makes sense to you, believe it.
if it makes you feel clarity, follow it.
it doesn't matter whether it's a system or whether you've borrowed bits and pieces from here and there - if it is something that makes you grounded and hopeful and excited, if this knowledge is yours, that is the only thing that matters.
Sense.
M.
out of anything
ever
no knowledge is knowledge unless you make it yours
unless this means something to you it's useless
so even if someone you respect to the Moon and back says something and you simply don't agree with, you don't have to bend your mind to do that
if it matters to you, keep it.
if it makes sense to you, believe it.
if it makes you feel clarity, follow it.
it doesn't matter whether it's a system or whether you've borrowed bits and pieces from here and there - if it is something that makes you grounded and hopeful and excited, if this knowledge is yours, that is the only thing that matters.
Sense.
M.
Wednesday, April 10
pink
Pink wine and pink whatever.
Good food and great company.
And great conversation.
The cat's still struggling and I'm still worrying. And trying not to.
Fingers crossed for more sleep than 49 minutes last night.
Send all your love to my cat, please, please.
Thanks.
Pink.
M.
Good food and great company.
And great conversation.
The cat's still struggling and I'm still worrying. And trying not to.
Fingers crossed for more sleep than 49 minutes last night.
Send all your love to my cat, please, please.
Thanks.
Pink.
M.
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