новый

NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW

This is the one pull that I feel most.
The call of New-ness.

nuovo
ny
neu
nouveau
UUS


I hear it all the time.

I get bored so easily.
And how ridiculous is it then to try and mimic someone's ideas.
Someone else's life.
Surely this just makes more boredom.

Always.
Always, just more boredom.
More boredom.
For life.

And this is not what I want.

Maybe that's why I like New Year's so much.
The idea of a NEW year.


Not to give any f*cks, but hear what I hear.
See what I see.
Do what I do.
Follow what I follow.


Here's the thunder.
With love.
M.


I'm thinking of a new photoshoot.

transform

I found this article and I really like it.
I think Tantra has managed to get itself a bad name much thanks to people just seeing it as a way to lots and lots of sex.
And just, trivialising it.
So I like this article.

And this idea that one can go so deep into the heart of what it loves that it then becomes love itself.
What a nice idea.
And the idea that Tantra accepts everything as a part of learning, all of it. Everything that we might feel or meet - everything is a part of "embracing the path".
..which is more commonly called Life, y'know.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/05/the-yoga-of-tantric-love-7-reasons-why-its-not-just-about-sex/

To have Hope, Faith and Love.
The three Big Gangstas.

I happened upon the end of Shawshank redemption the other day.
What a glorious film.
And there was this quote at the end I'd never really noticed:

"Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And a good thing never dies."

Patience, and kindness.
Words into Actions.
I have a sneaky feeling this is quite literally the core and heart of this year.
My Quarter century year.

Actual harmony only lives inside.
With or without or whatever.
We are what we have.
10 points to me every time I remember this.

And I also like this idea about gratitude I read somewhere, that the reason why gratitude is so important, being grateful for everything you've got, is that sending this out as a signal, life and the universe gets a go-ahead for sending more stuff your way.

Trust in what you already know!


If you speak Estonian:
http://alkeemia.ee/artiklid/10-tarkust-Buddhalt/l-12/c-1587/

So this is a reminder post.
About important things.

With love.
M.


And just THIS, you know.
By a Spanish poet Antonio Machado, translated by Robert Bly.
Last Night, As I Was Sleeping

(just one verse)
Last night, as I was sleeping,
I dreamt — marvelous error!—
that I had a beehive
here inside my heart.
And the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures.

Sweet honey_from my old failures.
So divine.

this

“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.”

—	Rumi This, a hundred times. Yours truly. M.

this week

This week has been super busy and the countdown to HONG KONG has now shrunk down to 10 days!

When did this happen!

I meet Asia, in less than 2 weeks.
What an absolutely strange concept.

I don't know why, but I stilllll cannot even begin to understand just HOW huge this adventure is going to be!
So strange!
I really want to start UNDERSTANDING this, noww!

(So sorry for the excessive caps-lock-ing.)

I mean, really.
Usually I'm almost climbing walls with all the excitement when A. and I take on Stockholm.
So now, when we're faced with her homeground HK, I'm like struck dumb.

Anyway.
This week has been super busy.
Got some nice work things done, and seen some lovely friends.
Last night went out for a little while and then another clothes sale today.

The rest of today was just for resting, on my ass, and mostly horizontal.
Tomorrow marks the all-systems-go moment, once more.
Before official nap-time it's most definitely a time to plan tomorrow.

So, for now, I hope you have a lovely evening.
And I have a feeling good things are coming our way.

With love, and light.
Yours truly.
M.


This was for an educational concert program we're doing this season - yet to see how many schools.
Fingers crossed!


The other day I was wearing this t-shirt E. got me for my 16th birthday.
It's says MARIAQ on the back, and on the front a tiny picture of my favourite energy drink back then.
(I used to get to school super early, and I didn't like coffee back then!)


Outdoor Swan Lake next to the Opera House, with 100 swans.


Sung a little at my old school's autumn concert in the Nokia concert hall in Tallinn.
That was a first for me so it was super exciting!
Loved the dressing room and ID-card.






Also, this week marked my return to the gym, YES.


Got this coat at this big vintage festival like a month ago.
And today it earnt me a most devoted 5-year-old admirer on the bus.
No, seriously.
I think he thought I was an actual cat.

STOP

Comparison is so boring.

Just saying.
Just saying.

99% of us do it. Why?
Seriously - to what logical, reasonable, or useful end?
It has none.
Like, none whatsoever, none at all.

So why?
Why torture yourself with the how much, how little, how big, how small, how tall, how smart, how blonde, how brunette, how rich, how poor, how emotional, how loud, how flexible, how multi-lingual, or whatever anyone is.
This who-has-less-who-has-more crap is so stupid.
It's useless and will never, ever, until the end of the burning Sun give any useful outcomes.
Ever.

So as opposed to listing all the things you are not (and in some cases can never be, ie. born Chinese, or have legs that are 10 inches longer, or be double-jointed, etc.), focus on what you are, and all the AMAZING things you can do with all of it.
(You don't lack, anything.)

And I should really do that too.

Trust the process.
Yours truly.
M.

sell all the things

Tomorrow, Saturday, it's time for a huge huge vintage/2nd hand sale in Tallinn!
And Spanish and I have bought a table to get our hands wet with the buying and selling madness.

So currently my room is in a state unlike any other, because for the first time in 7 years I have all my clothes in the same place and out at the same time.
But I'm powering through!

Gotta wash, gotta dry, gotta pack 'em - and then I'm all ready for tomorrow!

First wash (whites) is on.
Next on the agenda is putting the to-keep items into boxes, which will stay in my room.
And the rest of the stuff into the suitcase and huge Ikea bag.
I'm thinking of making "spring/summer" and "autumn/winter" signs, so it's easier for the people to browse through.
I think that would help.
And we're also planning on getting some biscuits - I'd rather haggle eating biscuits, than not, y'know.

Getting this done will be a big thing for me.
It's been on the want-to-do list for so long, and it will mark another step towards the place I wish to get to.

And I will.

Website handy in English.
http://kirbufestival.telliskivi.eu/en/


Gosh, I want to get to the end of this.

Yours truly.
M.


(Doutzen forever in thr backdrop haha)

This.

This
this
this


With love.
M.

all in

All Stephanie.
Adidas.

This is so self-explanatory.

dance
dance
dance
dance

With love.
M.

all for less

This song.
Kills my insides.
Somehow.

If you have some time, please give it a watch.

Repeat.
M.

people

So what about the people to fan our flame?
How and where do we draw a line?

I mean.
What?

What
what
what

Fan your flame.
Is that a purpose?
Is that a necessity?
What the f*ck.
I don't even know.

Whatever.
M.


Not "whatever" though, you know?
That's the point.
This is NOT "whatever".
This is important.

taste

The taste that your lips allow.

What a funny life.
M.

les femmes

Women, I think you are all magnificent creatures. 

Happy your day to you, women here and there!

Mothers, and sisters, and daughters, and wives, and girlfriends and girl friends, and teachers, and lawyers, and busdrivers, and waitresses, and singers, and dancers and leaders and followers and CEOs and builders and women with lots of children and no children and women who like staying home and those who like going out, women with sweet natures and women with crazy ambitions.
Just
all
women

A tank, a fire and a fountain rolled into one.
Especially now that spring is coming, don't sell yourself short.
If you won't listen to you, no one else will.
If you won't respect you, no one else will.
Spring is such a feminine season so ride it like a pony, or a wave or whatever you fancy, point is, ride it.

Quote of the day, from A.
"Ditto to you wolf woman!
Lol coach of the female universe."

I think you are all awesome, in how much power you all carry, and for just being so HAWT.

Congrats.

Les femmes.M.

Super tacky, but you get the point.



This is what I was actually looking for.

anthem

so loud

My constant anthem.
And one of the 3000 Maria songs that sometimes people holla at me.
(Blondie is still number 1, I think.)

Representing being way too much all the time, since 1989.

Du-du-du-dudu-du-du-duu.
M.

adventure (again)

I think adventures are everywhere to be found. You don't have to be a pirate or a mountaineer to go on an adventure. Adventures just happen when you have the right mindset, the "Yes, to adventures!" mindset.
Reasons I want to go to Stockholm again.
Adventures.

I just want to go on adventures all the time.
M.

baby heaven's in your eye

annoying

Okay.
I'm gonna stop being a stroppy asshole of a leftover-teenage now. And get the fuck over it.
Or at least explain it.

So, the reason I'm so annoyed.

A lot of things are shifting right now and it's really confusing the f_ck out of me.
I'm the kind of person who likes keeping a finger on the pulse of things, in my life. Because I don't have a manager or a management to sort my things, I'm so involved with figuring out "where" things are going, what projects to undertake, how to do and what to do and who to do it with.
Which is all fine.
Point is.
A lot is changing, a lot is happening, a lot needs to be decided.

WHICH IS FINE.

But you know, when it's just so much at the same time.
And I'd like someone to tell me anything, just anything at all. Any advice as to how to do stuff.

So far this hasn't explained why I'm so angry at all..
I don't like being angry and not knowing why.
I'm angry cause I'm frustrated, I'm frustrated cause I can't know what stuff is going to be like in a month or so.
Tomorrow I'm gonna make a plan. Sing a concert.
And then after my final gig is done tomorrow, I'm going to remind myself of all the things that are awesome.
And get. some. clarity.

And it will all be fine.
M.