dance, shiva

Shiva and Shakti.


They say the world will stand as we know it until Shiva carries on dancing.



SHIVA symbolises consciousness, the masculine principle.
SHAKTI symbolises the feminine principle, the activating power and energy.

SHAKTI, the feminine (or Prakriti) means energy, power, movement, change, nature. It is the maternal principle – the provider, abundance. In the human as well as in the animal kingdom the mother offers nourishment, warmth and security. There is no greater love than the love of a mother. The mother carries and nourishes the child in her own body. When it is born she provides it with mother’s milk and raises it at the sacrifice of her own self until it becomes self-reliant.

SHIVA, the masculine (or Purusha), on the other hand, is pure consciousness – the unchanging, unlimited and unswayable observer. Purusha has no desires whatsoever; these are inherent only in Prakriti. Purusha is the empty, clear screen onto which Prakriti projects her colourful film.

Shiva and Shakti are manifestations of the all-in-one divine consciousness - different sides of the same coin. In many pictures these two primal powers are each depicted as being one half of the same image; one side female and one side male. The left side is the Divine Mother, Pārvatī, the “feminine” energy, and the right side represents Shiva, the “masculine” consciousness.

Happy Wednesday night.
Happy end of April!
May the month of May be divine, and flowing and full of the best energy.

Love, always.
Yours truly.
M.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsYxLG5G6P0

fasting

For starters, can I just say this fasting process is amazing, and HARD.

I've been thinking of posting something the entire time I've been here but I don't even know where to start.

Or how to start.

Today is day4 so tomorrow is the last one and then we leave.

I feel like I came here a lifetime ago. Time completely loses meaning when you don't measure it like we're used to.

No meal times, no duty times, no meetings.

You just Are.

I've realized how much I use food to claim control over something, life I guess.

When something doesn't go right, I eat - something that I Want.

When I feel this or that or the other, I eat - again, something that I Want.

And this is an endless cycle of utterly fake self-gratification.

It leads to nowhere.

Just your system ending up carrying so many toxins which it most certainly does not need.

Same with drinking, smoking.

Unnecessary pollution if we're honest.

So now I'm here, sat on my bed.

Last time I ate was Tuesday night. (Which by the way sounds ridiculous, to me!! And even more ridiculous is the fact that my body is 100% fine!!!)

My mind feels alert, it is easier to breathe and feel and connect.

I've walked in the woods and the fields behind this farm house where we are staying. I've read books, many of them, I've meditated and I've danced, and I've felt easy.

And then - this feeling comes back - the anxiety of life, what about this, what about that, what about these expectations and those rules or deadlines et cetera et cetera et cetera...... The list is endless.

But I really do not want this.

I want to live a life where the process is the true joy. 

I listened to some music yesterday and danced a little (not too much because I would not have the energy - downside of fasting) and it was so amazing, just to be able to do that.

I've definitely found some peace, which was so desperately necessary and there is space now - space for new life, in my insides, my brain cells, my thoughts.

Having had Pisces here is such a help. This is not something I would want to do on my own right now. Maybe at some point in this life, but not now.

So - I've drank probably twice my body weight in fresh birch and maple tree "juice". I've released some fear. I've slept a lot. I've emptied my insides (not the nicest part of fasting). I've had two massages. I've sat in the sauna every night. And I've definitely spent two lifetimes of just enjoying the moments. The weather has been a godsend and spring is in full gear.

Just to say - if I would have come here to diet or lose weight or whatever, this would be hell on earth, truly, no jokes.

The only way and I mean the only way to fast is when you feel a meaning - you find something you want to resolve and release or purify or cleanse, something that has hurt you or confused you or made you feel lost or down or anything! The list goes on but you get the point.

Because your body will be a little off-track at times, and then you say "I'm cleansing you", "I'm purifying you", "I'm releasing anger from my mind", "I'm making new space".

And it works, you carry on and the process keeps developing.

I love you all, as ever.

I don't want to stay in the dark, guys, I really don't. 

I don't want to fear some random bulls*t and I want to feel Light and free.

So that's me, almost post-fasting.

This is about endurance, doing what's good for me, and not always peeking at the easy way out - with this kind of work, there are no shortcuts.

God it's hard, and god it's good.

Yours truly.

Love, always.

M.

robert lepage

Sometimes I just forget how brilliant some people are.
Like Robert Lepage. He must be "Maria's Inspirational Man no.100".
He's a theatre director/writer, actor, film director, installation artist and just an absolute genius. And I don't use this term very often.

He's from Quebec and was born in 1957. At the age of 5, he was diagnosed with alopecia, a rare disease which caused all his hair to fall off. As a teenager he struggled with depression, and then turned to drama classes to climb out of his protective, somewhat tortured shell.
And then from the age 25 onwards he has just been writing and putting on the most amazing theatre.

There are 3 reasons why I love him and his work to such a ridiculous extent.

Number 1. He is the most exquisite story-teller and I respect this a lot. I think that societies have always been built on the skills of storytelling, from bringing up your kids, to deciding where to build the next village, down to politicians - I mean, it is all storytelling, all of it. And Lepage is so creative and so so imaginative with his storytelling.
Number 2. The way he uses visual stuff (whether it's costume, objects, installations, or other multimedia, and music too actually) is just phenomenal. He just manages to tap into something, to see the core of the story, and then tie it together with something else, so seamless. He believes that theatre was born when the early early humans realised they can manipulate their own shadows and therefore create something "larger than life".
Number 3. He lost all his hair when he was 5. Now then. Let's think about this for one second. All of his hair. Eyebrows, eyelashes. You lose all the hair on your body. Also, having pubic hair is SUCH a rite of passage for boys when growing up. So, he had no hair, at all. And as opposed to let this other-ness consume him he channeled it, to become an absolute visionary theatre-maker. Hats off. Absolutely hats off.

And so, I forget sometimes, how much I truly love his work and what he stands for as a person.
One of his shows, "Playing Cards 1: SPADES", is coming to London in a week or so. And I really want to go see it. I want to go and witness him and his company bring together parts of the world, the current and the forgotten, the lost and the found, the painful and the beautiful, add some absolutely incredible music, and I want to see this. I want to see this and feel this and go, yes, thanks, Robert, for making theatre.

Lepage.
M.