costume

Hejj!

✿ It's May!! ✿ ♥ ☼


So.
I've got this big gala coming up on Sunday, YAY!
The teacher I'm working with, Paolo, it's an opera gala with a big bunch of his super awesome students singing at it.
And me.
Like people from the Latvian National, and these awesome competitions, et cetera.
And me.
SO COOL!
I just started studying with him beginning of December and he is amazing.
And this concert is gonna be so much fun!
I was so stressed about it and un-zhuzhed beginning of the week but the excitement has returned.

So I'm still ill, but I had our first lesson today (Paolo lives in Italty so he comes here every few months) and it was super awesome!
And now I'm going to google-inspire myself in terms of the costume for Sunday.
Basically - I've got two outfits.
_one is just a concert dress, formal.
_second is a more casual costume for Zerlina, the peasant girl, who ends up getting quite down and dirty with Don Giovanni - and this I currently don't have.

Therefore I'm channeling cute milkmaid.
Or like, lolita-esque free nature spirit girl.
Simple.

So inspiration away, ahoy!

Peace out, happy first of May!
Yours truly.

M.

Viggo Mortensen

Maria's inspirational men, number 3.
At least.













And so ladies and gentlemen.
Let's look at Viggo.

Son of a farmer, spent his childhood everywhere - Venezuela, Argentina, Denmark.
In addition to acting, he is also a poet, a photographer and a painter.
After graduating from university in the States, he moved back to Denmark, driven by a need for a defining purpose in life. During this time he worked some odd jobs, including dock worker, truck driver and flower seller.
He speaks English, Danish, Spanish, French, Swedish and Norwegian.
He is a super horseman.

Oh, he is also a jazz musician.

The versatility, the languages, the quality of his work, the films.
I just find him so awesome, so talented and warm.

Viggo.
M.

"Life is short... I like to pay attention while I'm going through it. Whatever I see, like anyone else, I'm going to filter it and create my own idea of what it is. - on painting, creating music, writing poetry, and taking photographs in addition to acting."

walls

It's funny how there are two kinds of walls.
The walls which feel like walls, concrete, and cold and have absolutely no life in them.
They keep you from the light, keep you from air. Keep you from your dreams, buried and out of sight somewhere in cement.

Wall type number 2, however, is very different. These walls don't actually feel like anything. It's rather a safe and sound environment. They protect and keep safe. They are there, of course, but they don't feel like stone. They feel like, the palm of a hand.
Warm and protected.

Currently I'm residing between wall type no1.
Oh, joy, upon joys.
And this is also where a lot of my angst comes from.

I want my own HQ, you know?
Head Quarters where I can plot and scheme and plan my life.
A place that serves as inspiration, not hindrance.

UGH.
M.

today

Today is a REALLY weird day.
Two simple reasons.
First of all, my cat's got some tooth drama, but to the extent that he's gonna have surgery today.
Those of you who might not know this, I love my cat. But not like, awwwwwwwwwwwwww ohhh cat baby. No. I mean, this cat is a ghetto blaster boss man. The last level boss. He runs the mafia, runs the town and he secretly runs your life.
Hence, I respect this kitty a whole bunch.

And because of this surgery he is not allowed to eat the entire day.
Now then.
My cat lives for food.
He eats anything from raisins to beef jerky and all the cat stuff in between.
And all I'm allowed to give him for 8 hours is water.
And I'm trying not to worry about the surgery.

Secondly.
I've got this conference thing coming up in a few hours.
It's for this school in Tallinn who host a conference via Skype, so they get all sorts of people around the world to encourage and inspire students, to study abroad, or just to follow their path, or choose a new one.
And I'm one of the people talking today.

So these two paired together make this day very, very weird.

Hooray for weird.
M.

useful

I really really really should get one of those parka things. They just really really inspire me to feel useful, yet comfy. What an awesome mix of feelings to have.

Today is for lunch. AEM and I are going to this fancy pub place, that looks like a pub but the inside is everything but. We used to go quite a lot when we were still at university. We always sit at the same table. It's such a nice understated setting and then the stuff that leaves the kitchen makes you go - whaaat? Cause it's just immaculate. So he decided to get us a table for 1:30pm today and since we're in the area we're gonna go see some friends at uni. So hooray, for a nice day!





I've also been a good little cookie and almost sorted my UK-phone/phonenumber issue. Hopefully I'll get that battle over tomorrow which will be a huge tick in a huge box.

Happy Saturday, everyone!
M.

desktop background

I love my desktop backgrounds, really.
Because I spend a lot of my on my laptop and therefore see the desktop quite a lot, it has to be something that either inspires me, or goes with the season, or calms me down - basically whatever I need at the time.

And since my love of wolves (more about this later) is growing, one has now found a way onto my desktop.

I heart wolf.
M.

robert lepage

Sometimes I just forget how brilliant some people are.
Like Robert Lepage. He must be "Maria's Inspirational Man no.100".
He's a theatre director/writer, actor, film director, installation artist and just an absolute genius. And I don't use this term very often.

He's from Quebec and was born in 1957. At the age of 5, he was diagnosed with alopecia, a rare disease which caused all his hair to fall off. As a teenager he struggled with depression, and then turned to drama classes to climb out of his protective, somewhat tortured shell.
And then from the age 25 onwards he has just been writing and putting on the most amazing theatre.

There are 3 reasons why I love him and his work to such a ridiculous extent.

Number 1. He is the most exquisite story-teller and I respect this a lot. I think that societies have always been built on the skills of storytelling, from bringing up your kids, to deciding where to build the next village, down to politicians - I mean, it is all storytelling, all of it. And Lepage is so creative and so so imaginative with his storytelling.
Number 2. The way he uses visual stuff (whether it's costume, objects, installations, or other multimedia, and music too actually) is just phenomenal. He just manages to tap into something, to see the core of the story, and then tie it together with something else, so seamless. He believes that theatre was born when the early early humans realised they can manipulate their own shadows and therefore create something "larger than life".
Number 3. He lost all his hair when he was 5. Now then. Let's think about this for one second. All of his hair. Eyebrows, eyelashes. You lose all the hair on your body. Also, having pubic hair is SUCH a rite of passage for boys when growing up. So, he had no hair, at all. And as opposed to let this other-ness consume him he channeled it, to become an absolute visionary theatre-maker. Hats off. Absolutely hats off.

And so, I forget sometimes, how much I truly love his work and what he stands for as a person.
One of his shows, "Playing Cards 1: SPADES", is coming to London in a week or so. And I really want to go see it. I want to go and witness him and his company bring together parts of the world, the current and the forgotten, the lost and the found, the painful and the beautiful, add some absolutely incredible music, and I want to see this. I want to see this and feel this and go, yes, thanks, Robert, for making theatre.

Lepage.
M.

lessons we need to learn

Each has their own.
Everything is different
Men are different from women
And women different from men
And then each is different from the next
And every day is different
Every life
Every second
And what people do
And what they don't
And why they do what they do
And should they have done it
Should anyone do anything, at all
Or should we just not
Blah, blah, blah
I mean, really

Co-exist and co-inspire
That's all anyone can do
We see things and we can't act on it
Because these things are not our things
They are someone else's
So all we can do, is co-exist and co-inspire
And make sure we don't waste
Waste our time
Waste our talent
Waste our breath
Waste our sunrises and sunsets
And waste our joy
Because life is hard enough for us not to corrupt ourselves
So get on a swing
Laugh too loud
And delight in the ridiculous
Find someone to marvel with
Because everything is too serious anyway
Too serious and too sad
And too tragic
And too unfair and unjust
So keep hold of your own joy
Make sure you keep your shine
Be kind to yourself
And let others live through their own mistakes


D for December is for Damage control.


i've almost got rid of it
the bullshit of needing to get acceptance, or you know
"self-worth" from outsiders
almost

We each have our lessons to learn.

I have a hyacinth in my room.
With love.
M.

huh?

Those of you who have seen some 24 might know the legend that is Bill Buchanan, played by James Morrison.

So, James Morrison. Actor, I knew as much.
But a filmmaker, playwright, poet, singer, songwriter, father, husband, and a YOGA TEACHER?
Started his career as a clown and wire walker.

And to do that with 58 years spent on this planet.
Brilliant.
That is brilliant. And that is what I would like to be.
Not "singer", but singer, actress, dancer, painter, writer, WHATEVER-er. I mean, you know.
Just things. Not a thing.

I mean, of course, there will always be something that you're just the best at, and it would be smart to turn that into a career. But to just be that thing?
No. Nope. I refuse, seriously. That will not do.

So thanks, James.
You are great.
M.

surround

the right people
the power of surrounding yourself with the right people
the right people for you
the people who make you feel something
the people who inspire you
or that you admire, and/or respect
one would be a colossal idiot to underestimate that power

and all those things we'd like to be or do, or even look like, but don't because of outward disapproval, is just bullshit.
there's a line between consideration and bullshit.

inspirational people.
who are my inspirational people?
who inspires me?

if you'd observe your life, as if it's not yours, what would you say to you?
as that person, as that surrounding factor, as an inspiration - what would you say.
what is that advice or the influence that is lacking.
and why not be that for yourself.
external, outward

i am not my mother
i am not my father
i am not my siblings, or my friends
all i am is me, whatever that is
i am me

I don't like being toned-down.
M.


ps. if I'd be that external influence, I'd say not to be scared of making decisions, and being in charge of a decision.
make my own decisions
not float along with other people's decisions, or wait for them to make one.