being pisces

So I read this thing somewhere.
About how each of us have something to learn from our Zodiac sign.
How the negative aspect of it is a vessel for learning, your own personal lesson.

I am Pisces.
The double-fish.

"Pisces Suns may spend a good portion of their lives yearning for understanding, and the other part in a state of divine discontent. Suffering is sometimes glamorized in the Piscean world.Harsh realities are avoided either through escapist behavior or self-delusion; but every now and again reality does raise its ugly head, and hits Pisces over the head. This is a sad time indeed. Pisces retreats into their own world, self-pitying and giving pep talks to themselves.
Some might even wonder if Pisces finds pleasure in suffering. Sometimes this is the case, but most of the time, Pisces pulls a lot of creative energy from sadness. Pisces is the poet or artist with angst, although this trait is often more apparent with Moon in Pisces.
Many Pisces seem almost allergic to things like shopping lists, maps, directions, and instructions, and for some brave souls, even watches — they prefer to feel their way through life than to follow some plan."

This is so very much like me.
From all angles.

Therefore - I need to learn how to sink my claws into something solid.
Something that doesn't shift and would therefore give me the stability that I'm so very much yearning for.
All the time.

It's true that this moaning thing sometimes becomes a juicy bone for Pisces. Self-pity has no benefits, let's get this straight.
The thing is, I really feel like I've grown out of this enjoyment of the mutable state.
Life is mutable enough. We can't foresee the choices and actions of other people, or the weather for that matter, anything, so truth be told, we control very little.
But we can choose for ourselves.
So why not do that.
I used to be a big fan of letting things go, just unravelling, my things, and therefore miss opportunities, really positive ones. Miss people, miss chances, miss life.
And that's as boring, as it is stupid.

I'm yet figuring out what the answer is.
Something physical would make sense.
I find that some kind of movement grounds me in the body, which is a really easy, "normal" thing, to sink your teeth into.
So even if you can't control A, B or C, you sure as hell can control your arms and legs.

Learn from your sign.

Trust
the
process

Yours truly.
M.

nighttime

I completed my Wednesday to-do list!
I did all of that.
And that's pretty sweet.

Then went to stay with the Other Pisces, with the Spanish one. She lives 40 minutes out of Tallinn and it was absolutely more divine than I-lack-the-word.
We got there just in time for sunset, watched the sun go down down down on a beach. Then ate some smoked fish and watermelon and ice-cream, and then chatted about life and the universe. And got tucked into our mega-snug beds.

Morning time brought breakfast and sunbathing and more chats about life.
The energy is so good with those two - good to chat spiritual stuff. I don't think I've ever had that. So my gratitude goes out to the Universe. Muchos gracias.

And back to the capital I came, riding on a jolly yellow bus.
Did a soundcheck, saw a dance-puppet piece with E. (which was pretty super), had a rehearsal and sorted some other stuff for the Scaffolding gig (which is in TWO days?!).
AND I borrowed a bike from the pretty one and rode that home which made me happier than a pup with two tails.

Over-all, busy-Maria.
And I cannot wait to get away again.

With love.
M.

simple simple midnight pleasures

It's all good, really.


E. and I went swimming today. Bubbles, swimming, sauna and chats. I mean, come on.
Like a little fishy fish. Should have sung the Salmon dance song, really.

Friday is looming. Can't wait. (Seriously.)

Simple midnight pleasures - did my nails. They are now purring "autumn.." at me, and I don't really mind it. Something between good red wine, a ripe plum and some dark soggy leaves.
Sexy, sexy autumn.
Simple pleasure - playing with one's new phone, like it is the first phone anyone has ever seen or touched or you know. It's silly, but god, it's great fun. (Oh yea, and my phone's red as well. Ahhh, the patterns.)

Simple pleasure - Lord of the Rings, extended versions. I mean, just, YES.


And my phone background is a picture of really red trees. Nicer than the one below, but something along those lines.
I am shoving autumn in my own face. And starting to grow somewhat fonder of it. Shock therapy, or whatever.


So much shallow, shallow fun.
M.