thurs

Hey, sweets!!

Yesterday I did some work things I had been postponing and it was fine, no angst no nothing!
So I really really am so pleased about this.

Had some awesome vegan lunch and then went to see the newest arrival of our female army.
MY BABY GOT HER BABY!
So I'm paying both of them a visit again today, this time, armed with sushi.

And I'm gonna carry on doing the work things, a little here, a little there.
No BIG mountains of work to climb, no hundred emails at a time, no hundred thoughts at a time.
Just, a little at a time.

Also, as I was walking yesterday to Bébé-ville, I realised how much time I truly spend just thinking about work things.
And how counter-productive this is.
As opposed to think about it, and then feel tired when I actually start doing the work, I should learn how to really switch off, and then when I work, I work.
True, this "work" of mine is my true true passion. But still, come on, enough is enough.

So that's what I got to yesterday.
Today the skies are grey but I'm pretty peaceful.
My sleep and dreams are calm lately so this helps a ton.


So - half of the week gone.
The week of sorting unfinished business.
Am I actually doing it?
Kind of, but should make more of this, I'll feel better after.

Peace out.
Love, always.M.

a dying breed

Autumn in Tallinn. I haven't felt it in 6 years. And I have completely forgotten what it is like.
E. said the other day that it has been gradual. I literally woke up one morning and thought I had been smacked in the face with it.
It hits like a ton of bricks. But not solid bricks. But rather a ton of bricks that feel like a ton of clay mass, that you can't get rid of, or wash off, or anything. It's stuck to me, even when I sleep.
I wake up in the middle of the night, and think I'm cold.
And the worst part is, it makes me feel like I'm dying. Okay, not actually dying. Just the buzz or the excitement that I get during the summer, of just being and doing - I feel that dying.
The only, and I mean, THE ONLY thing I think I find appealing about autumn is the fact that Michael Bublé sounds divine. It just fits autumn. So it gets a point for that.

I like watching people. I was on the divine trolley-bus today, coming into town, and just watching people as the bus passed was so good. I was considering going round the town twice, just to see people.

A dying breed.
But maybe it's always been a dying breed.

These are strange times.
But then again, which times aren't?

I would like to love someone in Paris. In Paris, in an attic room, one autumn. Like in the operas, you know. Artists and attic rooms, and autumn, and leaves, and scarves, and markets, and candles.
I would like to love someone in Paris.
Now that would make an autumn.
M.