sthlm

I miss A, boo-hoo, and I miss STHLM.
BUT, much more importantly, our adventures.
It's been a month since I visited last but feels so much longer.
And the thing is, we don't have a set date for the next Chaos and Mayhem reunion.

So.
You know.
Unfairness of the Universe, but HEY, whatever.

This was taken in the White Room, in March, by Mr. Borovic.

Mayhem.
AP+ML.

kardashians

Now that I want to spend some time sat in my room behind closed doors once more, it's time for me and the Kardashians to carry on our love affair.

Dash.
M.

an actual post

THEY ARRIVED!
My boxes, guys! They arrived!

Oh my heavens, this feeling of having my things in the same space, creates this incredible atmosphere.
It sounds pretty ridiculous, so simple, so shallow, but honestly, it's not.
It's not about the things, it's about the fact that my life and everything it entails is syncing. The halves are here in the same space as me and it feels so glorious.
It feels like I have dropped the anchor and so I can now stand still, near the harbour, for just a day. Enjoy some sunshine and eat the local food.
Then drag it up again, adjust the sails, and go.

But no one can go forever, without that day near the harbour. That day of sunshine, sea food and tanned faces. Seashells, waves, dancing girls and stray cats. No one. You have to have that day.
So I am having that day.
With all my stuff, here, in my room, right now.

YAYAYYAYAYYAYYAYYYAYYYAYYAYAYAYYYYYYYYY!

Yes.

Take that day. 
M.

stuff

There's a chance that my stuff is arriving soon!
We're talking like a week. This would be such a load off my mind. At the moment it just feels like my poor boxes are hovering somewhere around the other end of Europe. And it's just so not pleasant.

So YAY! I really hope the rest of this runs smooth.

Boxes. 
M.

tuesday

I've been very useful today. So I give myself a point!

And we've got an awesome awesome Tuesday planned! (Since it is my last official day. OH. MY. F*CK.)

AEM and I are gonna get up at 7AM and go to town for breakfast. We've got a table for 8.30 at this place http://www.gordonramsay.com/bread-street/
And I'm so going to have eggs benedict. Ahhh, eggy B, my old friend. (And probably some pink grapefruit.)





Then we're meeting J. at the Barbican tube station around half 9 to go to the Barbican for the Rain Room installation.
Rain Room is a hundred square metre field of falling water through which it is possible to walk, trusting that a path can be navigated, without being drenched in the process.
http://random-international.com/work/rainroom/
It looks absolutely incredible. Apparently the queues are like crazy (3-4 hours) so we're getting there an hour and a half before it opens. We're going armed with boardgames (connect-4 and battleship which I love) and I'll need a can of Sprite I think.
And then AJ is joining us a bit later.

Once we've seen the Rain Room and got our minds blown to particles AEM and I have some errands to run, after which it's PANCAKE DAY!
Since it's Shrove Tuesay it's time for some Pancakes. For the 5th year in a row I'll be making the pancakes. The thing is I don't really like eating them, but gosh, do I love making them.
And then we're going to the cinema to see Django.

And then I'm going to sleep, think some good thoughts and not freak out.
I keep swinging from loving everything and everyone to being so scared and anxious to back to this total sentimental love again. It's much like a rollercoaster, honestly.

But this is where I have to give credit to the girls at home, E., the pretty one, K. for their unfaltering excitement at my return and being so positive. Otherwise I just couldn't go through with this. So I'm just taking a moment to be grateful.
And of course, A. who's like a brother, a sister, a pet, and a grandad all rolled into one.

Here's to shifting yourself.
All my love.
M.

nest

This is too crowded with things for me, but for about 8 hours I would like to be in this room.
Have some tea, eat some noodles. Burn some incense, and smoke some shisha, with apple tobacco, please.
And think some thoughts, and draw.

Crowded room.
M.

a dying breed

Autumn in Tallinn. I haven't felt it in 6 years. And I have completely forgotten what it is like.
E. said the other day that it has been gradual. I literally woke up one morning and thought I had been smacked in the face with it.
It hits like a ton of bricks. But not solid bricks. But rather a ton of bricks that feel like a ton of clay mass, that you can't get rid of, or wash off, or anything. It's stuck to me, even when I sleep.
I wake up in the middle of the night, and think I'm cold.
And the worst part is, it makes me feel like I'm dying. Okay, not actually dying. Just the buzz or the excitement that I get during the summer, of just being and doing - I feel that dying.
The only, and I mean, THE ONLY thing I think I find appealing about autumn is the fact that Michael Bublé sounds divine. It just fits autumn. So it gets a point for that.

I like watching people. I was on the divine trolley-bus today, coming into town, and just watching people as the bus passed was so good. I was considering going round the town twice, just to see people.

A dying breed.
But maybe it's always been a dying breed.

These are strange times.
But then again, which times aren't?

I would like to love someone in Paris. In Paris, in an attic room, one autumn. Like in the operas, you know. Artists and attic rooms, and autumn, and leaves, and scarves, and markets, and candles.
I would like to love someone in Paris.
Now that would make an autumn.
M.