day 2

Photo-a-day-challenge word is "busy".

I don't like busy.
My year (Jan-July) ran at such an outrageous pace. Of course it is fantastic to have opportunities (and I am very grateful for them) and to really run with them. Being hardworking has never been nor will it ever be a bad thing. I think it's just learning to differentiate between hardworking and almost unforgiving.
We are all human. And I often forget that, I think.
So now I'm sacking off "busy". I've been trying to do this for a while now. It took the help of my former house mistress (boarding school) to understand that I was living in this pattern of work-work-work-burn-out-cry-be-very-ill-then-repeat. Why would anyone choose to do that?
So once I'd realised yes, that is indeed what I do, I decided to really try and work at changing this.

It's not even about how much you do. Or how "busy" the schedule is.
You can have a crazy schedule and not be busy.
Busy, for me, stands for a way of doing things. I would much rather have a lovely full schedule, of exciting projects, cool opportunities and so on, so forth, and not be going about being "busy". You can do all that, and more, be enjoying it, be productive, in control - and not dying (not literally obvs).
Maybe "busy" is the opposite of "in control" for me (not literally, more like a feeling.) "Busy" is the sense of something running away from me, or me trying to catch something. Of there being too much of too much.

So no more busy for me, thanks. I'd like some everything, a lot of it, please, but addressed with a zen-ed head on my shoulders.
"Busy" out of my brain.

So instead of capturing "busy", I will capture the opposite of busy.

These pictures were taken during my month-long session of life in Tallinn. It was divine. And not busy. I did plenty, like plenty-plenty, but I was not busy. I was very active, but no 'busy' in sight.
Ahh, Tallinn.

My yoga challenge hasn't kicked off. I will have some words with myself (ha ha). No but seriously.
But I did do some hardcore zumba today. It has hardcore. And good.

This is a ramble-y post.

What does "busy" mean to you?


Green tea, and peace out.
M.

sunbed cheeks

The best compliment I've heard this summer is "you outrageous lady".
What made it the best compliment was the fact that this was from a mature person, an esteemed teacher, about my performance of a Mozart aria.
SO MANY THINGS that don't usually count as outrageous.

But there I was. Outrageous. And a lady.
Love. IT. ALL.

So today I went on a date, with myself.
I am making a bit of a hoo-haa about it, but really - it was just that lovely.

I spend a lot of time out of the house. For some reason I don't get cosy at home, or comfy. Sometimes I do want to spend an entire night in, but this is so so, SO rare.
So I spend a lot of time out. And hence tonigh was triple cool. Because it was one of the best alone nights I've had, in such a long time.
Maybe it was the view from the large windows of the 9th floor, maybe it was the rain outside that was trickling down these large windows in the most cinematic way, ever, maybe it was the city lights, maybe it was the time (around 8pm), maybe it was the coffee, maybe it was what I was wearing, maybe it was the fact that I was warm, maybe it was the cheese on my risotto, or the 2 candles, or what-e-ver.
It just was.
And it was great.

One of those when you sit, and go, okay, this is life, I am here, and this is all good.

This is all good.
M.

(And 1am sunbed-cheeks. Yes, yes, yes,)