songstress

Thursday was double-gig day.

We hit the road around midday, first gig at 2pm, then left 3.30pm, just made it to the next gig like 20 minutes before, 7pm start, 8.30pm started driving back and hit TLN just before midnight.
The gigs went super well.
I haven't sung a full length concert in a while, so it was hard work - sweat.com - but the energy was amazing.

However, I did manage to viciously burn my tongue back stage with some hot water, which I forgot was hot..well done.
In my anger I decided to pap this situation.

And I also got to wear my allllltime favourite performance dress.
So all around lovely times.

And now I'm heading to town because the weather is amazing and I'm gonna go for a walk with the spanish one.
S p r i n g  i s  c o m i n g.

Actually, I don't look very enthusiastic in either of the photos, but I promise I was!

With love, as always.
M.

v-day

Or Friends' Day! As it is known in the Nordic parts of Europe.
Cherish your friends and hug them loads.

We had fit breakfast today, and it was fit.
I stayed at E's place and we got up at 7am which translates to me as 5am London time. It was so much fun! I do like early mornings once I get up for one. And also, I must say, I'm exhausted right now. The past 3 nights have held no sleep so I'm really deprived.
Hopefully I'll shift back into a normal-ish structure with tonight.

Head Sõbrapäeva!
M.

morning

It's been a good slow morning. And the weather is really nice, so I would like to go out for a walk, but I do have some boxes to weigh.
So I'm still trying to figure out what to do with today.

But for now, it's a giant breakfast and Grey's Anatomy time.

Have a nice Friday.
M.

this tree

Under this tree everything would be solved. 

Find yourself a tree.
M.

they arrived!!

So after UPS decided to be ridiculous and drop my package off at the wrong house (32, instead of 62) and have it signed by someone called "Fernandes" (I mean, who is Fernandes?), I'VE GOT MY TRAINERS!

The saga is finished, and I'm so relieved/happy!

Meet my new Lunarglides.
(What a ridiculous/superhero name.)
(I know I sound sad, yes, well, you know. Fine.)

Run, run, rabbit, run.
M.

3am

A's leaving tomorrow morning, and AEM is giving her a lift, so I thought I'd go with.
We need to leave at like, 6am, and it's currently 3am.
Why I'm not sleeping is more than a mystery.

I think I'm thinking of boxes, just swirling around in my head.
Tomorrow's list.
- Weigh boxes

I need to give my moving-man an over-all weight quote, pretty soon. So I think I'm going to get started with that tomorrow.

Sleeptime.
M.

SWEAT

Message of the day:
Sweat.

Sweat.
M.

my corner of the world

Would be something like this.

PS. I've been so off blogger for a few days. I usually blog late at night but I've now got myself a week-long gym membership thing (too cold for outside, too little space inside) and whenever I get home I'm just so exhausted.
But I'm getting back on that train!

So, yes. My corner of the world.
This image below is literally the space I would want to live in. Only I would change the Mediterranean map for a similar style world one. It even has an M on the cupboard! I mean, really.
The wooden floors and the floorspace. This is just so perfect.
And the one below that just simply states what I think life should be like. Whether Einstein said it or not is irrelevant (knowing internet quotes he probably didn't). But I do like a whole lot what it states.

Have a good day.
M.

as soon as

First of all, can I just say, how ecstatic I am that I have time to blog.
This started out a long time ago as just a one-post-every-few-months. A few of us left the country, either to study somewhere else, or for a year abroad, and the easiest thing to keep a finger on the pulse with all these now-international friends was blogs.
And then when I ran into a tricky patch I stopped completely. It cracks me up, seriously. There are like, 6-7 month holes in my blogging, back in the day. This seems so silly now.
I think I stopped because I was too tired or too sad to post "all the happy things". I mean, what? Why should I be impressing anyone with this anyway? Seems so silly.
So therefore I now use this space to think out loud. I like being alone, thinking on my own, and this is a superb way of recording this process.

So therefore, I'm so pleased about this.
Thank you for reading. I hope I don't pour too much develop-and-grow-in-yourself stuff on you.

Back to the post.

As soon as summer comes, and I will visit A. in STHLM, or when she's in HEL on her island, THIS is happening.
And oh my oh my, I'm already looking forward to it.
As soon as I get my ass over the January line it feels like spring is creeping (for me). And if spring is creeping, I start making summer plans.
And this is one of them.

Rowing boats. Why do I love thee so.
M.

and another thing

I'M HOOKED ON DOWNTON ABBEY.

Like, seeeriously.
Seriously.
Seriously hooked.

I do have the tendency to like anything pre-modern-day when it comes to TV-series. And this is a classic example of the upstairs-downstairs format, which serves as an interesting storyboard anyway. And this is really well done.
I mean, there's some complaint as to the plot going downhill somewhat in season 3, but 1 and 2 have engulfed me. Like literally swallowed me whole.
Hooked, I tell you.

And the cast is amazeballs. Truly, England's finest, pretty much.

Just, one of those things you watch and just go: "Yes, okay, thanks, I feel great now. MORE PLEASE."

Yay, for Downton!
Yay, for ITV!
M.












OMG MATTHEW I LOVE YOU.

(Had to get it out of the system..)

one of those

one of those days when little things are like, SO annoying.
like, someone's stuff on the banister that keeps falling down
or like, the shower being just not hot enough
or like, someone else's music being too loud
or just like, everything you know
little things

ugh

confession.
all this is powered by the fact that i want to go home.
or rather, home via Stockholm, ya know.

Cause this time it's still Chaos and Mayhem, but Chaos and Mayhem Christmastide Special.
Different vibez.
Some actual c+m combo might happen, but it's not the emphasis.

MYSA IS.
M.

nu ska vi mysa

"nu ska vi mysa"


let us cose. 
in Swedish.

M.

if in doubt....

...GET SOME EXCITING PLANS OUT.
(This is currently the stage of unofficial excitement.)

But more about this later on.


So.
I noticed that for some reason I have started giving myself the worst possible chance of success.
Because "if it's easy, it's not worth it"? (big fat whatever, doesn't actually matter "why", to be honest..)

one day.
it would take me one day to catch up with everything that's lagging right now.
just one day.
and I've been putting off this one day for like, what, a week? More than a week?
It's ridiculous. and just a whole separate level of sheer stupidity.
and if I don't catch up, it will give me more reasons, more excuses later on, to say why something didn't go like this or like that.
it's like I'm cushioning my own failure, ALREADY.
So as opposed to saying "heck, I tried, I really tried", I'd have to opportunity to say "weelllll, there was thiiiis, there was thaaaat... blah, blah, blah"
Madness.

Why not have a fresh cup of screw-you, aaand actually help myself?
Why not just for once give myself the ultimate best chance of success? And not turn myself into this pitiful charity case? (which I'm SO not.)
Why not?
What is this fear of failure?
Cause surely, every goal is just a step in itself, not a finite point. So okay, yeah, whatever, you failed at point A, but then there's point B, and point C, and point D, and (surprise-surprise!) point E, you catch my drift. So surely, preparation for each point only makes it better for the next one. And these points don't end at Z. They end when our lives end, because that's the point. You go, go, go, go, go, go. You do things, until you don't.
Fear of failure... Why? And failing at what?
(loads of noises indicating "being irritated".)

So fear of failure is just so. f*cking. stupid.
(and also very aggravating stuff.)

ps. I'm going to read this tomorrow morning. Maybe out loud, for good measure.
Peace out.

helping yourself
M.

huh?

Those of you who have seen some 24 might know the legend that is Bill Buchanan, played by James Morrison.

So, James Morrison. Actor, I knew as much.
But a filmmaker, playwright, poet, singer, songwriter, father, husband, and a YOGA TEACHER?
Started his career as a clown and wire walker.

And to do that with 58 years spent on this planet.
Brilliant.
That is brilliant. And that is what I would like to be.
Not "singer", but singer, actress, dancer, painter, writer, WHATEVER-er. I mean, you know.
Just things. Not a thing.

I mean, of course, there will always be something that you're just the best at, and it would be smart to turn that into a career. But to just be that thing?
No. Nope. I refuse, seriously. That will not do.

So thanks, James.
You are great.
M.

day 2

Photo-a-day-challenge word is "busy".

I don't like busy.
My year (Jan-July) ran at such an outrageous pace. Of course it is fantastic to have opportunities (and I am very grateful for them) and to really run with them. Being hardworking has never been nor will it ever be a bad thing. I think it's just learning to differentiate between hardworking and almost unforgiving.
We are all human. And I often forget that, I think.
So now I'm sacking off "busy". I've been trying to do this for a while now. It took the help of my former house mistress (boarding school) to understand that I was living in this pattern of work-work-work-burn-out-cry-be-very-ill-then-repeat. Why would anyone choose to do that?
So once I'd realised yes, that is indeed what I do, I decided to really try and work at changing this.

It's not even about how much you do. Or how "busy" the schedule is.
You can have a crazy schedule and not be busy.
Busy, for me, stands for a way of doing things. I would much rather have a lovely full schedule, of exciting projects, cool opportunities and so on, so forth, and not be going about being "busy". You can do all that, and more, be enjoying it, be productive, in control - and not dying (not literally obvs).
Maybe "busy" is the opposite of "in control" for me (not literally, more like a feeling.) "Busy" is the sense of something running away from me, or me trying to catch something. Of there being too much of too much.

So no more busy for me, thanks. I'd like some everything, a lot of it, please, but addressed with a zen-ed head on my shoulders.
"Busy" out of my brain.

So instead of capturing "busy", I will capture the opposite of busy.

These pictures were taken during my month-long session of life in Tallinn. It was divine. And not busy. I did plenty, like plenty-plenty, but I was not busy. I was very active, but no 'busy' in sight.
Ahh, Tallinn.

My yoga challenge hasn't kicked off. I will have some words with myself (ha ha). No but seriously.
But I did do some hardcore zumba today. It has hardcore. And good.

This is a ramble-y post.

What does "busy" mean to you?


Green tea, and peace out.
M.

BATMANBATMAN

Saw Batman yesterday. (And by this I mean "The Dark Knight Rises".)
And for the first time in the BFI Imax, which - if you were wondering - is SICK.

Just Batman, and Nolan.
Nolan, Nolan, Nolan.
I mean, really.

BAT.MAN.
M.