life

So.

Yesterday I had two concerts.

And filmed this tv interview.

And then right now, I'm on my way to gig number 1 of the day, and second one starts at 7pm.

The second one also marks the beginning of the Christmas Tour!

Woo!

Today will be finished, and then I'm becoming human once more.

A human who concentrates on eating.

And sleeping.

And a beauty regime.

And reading.

And eating again.

And maybe walking.

Et

Cetera.

We just need to remember that every deviation from the norm - the balanced, peaceful state - is "tension".

And there can be both negative and positive tension.

Everything that affects the middle line of our energy is tiring.

And this is exactly where I'm at.

This month so far has been crazy wonderful.

But I'm really tired.

Not of any one thing in particular, rather just the body wants time to process everything and let it sink in.

So give yourself time to rest even after the super hyper mega positive things in your life.

Your system needs time to take everything in.

And so I'm going to carry on driving towards gig number 1.

Yours truly.

M.

 

steady

The power of rocking steady.

I'm getting my bus at 10am tomorrow.

RIGA-TLN.

Next week is going to be so so interesting.

So many challenging things, so many new things. 

But I will tell you more once I reach my laptop.

For now, I'm watching Poirot in bed.

I sat in a rehearsal today, Wagner, which I don't usually like. 

I did today.

I'm mellow and relaxed and balanced, I think.

Have a really good evening.

Yours truly.

M.

most

Compared to 6 months ago, I'm actually doing the things that frighten me most.

So go me!

If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you.
M.

friends

Friends.
Today I'm just really grateful, for having people in my life.
For having people who care about me.
And people who care about how I'm doing.
And what will happen to me.
And people who wish to push me and challenge me, and help me challenge myself.
And help me see myself the way they see me.Which sometimes is so very very important.

So today is for gratitude.
I am grateful for the friends, I am grateful that they care and I'm grateful that I have many more times with these lovely people to look forward to.

Thank you.
M.

dream big

Confession.
I haven't dreamt big in a while.
I don't think I've actually dreamt at all for a while.
I used to, a lot, and now it's just kind of disappeared or moved to the sidelines.
But I think it's absolutely, absolutely essential.

Dreaming is not a waste of time. Anyone who says so I simply have to disagree with, completely.
Dreaming is like, creating the winds for your own sails, you know?
You have dreams and then you can turn them into goals.
"Goals are dreams with deadlines."

Dreaming.
"Stop daydreaming". As if it's a bad thing. Of course, there's a time for everything and I'm not asking you or myself to daydream non-stop and in the process get hit by a bus or lose our jobs.
It's just - dreaming is so essential. And having dreams, however big or small. It is simply a force to drive us forward.
It is like that saying - shoot for the Moon, and even if you'll miss, you will land among the stars.
Besides, the power of a human brain once it sets itself to something, I mean, really commits to something, is absolutely a force of nature to be reckoned with.
So why not set it to something that our dreams are truly made of.

So.
Once I'm home I will -
dream a little
dream a lot
and then dream some more

Give myself a chance to open my brain to dreaming. Tune it to GoodTimes FM, or something.
Being present in the here and now is fine, but if a thing becomes a restraint, it's clearly time for a change.
Open my head to all the lovely things that are and will be and I can look forward to.
It is a great freedom, does marvellous things mentally and I just haven't allowed myself to relax, breathe and do it.
So go on, fill your lovely lovely heads.

Dream big.
M.

52

52 days left of 2012.
fifty
two
days
a lot of days that is


These past couple of years and this one included are turning out to be big ones. Not anything particular, just personal developments of all kinds.

I realised I hadn't challenged myself in so long
(so that's why I'm now supplying challenges left, right, and centre.)
(...not really that many. just enough to get some inertia going)


mistakes.
making mistakes
and learning from mistakes
...mistakes are good.


Also. Like, "am I proud of myself", is an interesting question. 
So often the pride-o-meter is applied by us from an outside angle. I used to be terribly concerned with whether person A is proud of me, or person B, and so forth. 
This is fine.
But I mean, what about me? What about you? What about, "are we proud of ourselves"?


Pride. 
Pride is an interesting one.
Taking pride in what you do.
Pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. (This is somewhat beside the point, just an interesting digression.)

Measuring myself according to my own scales of pride, not someone else's.



Failing, as well.
What is that about? This fear of failure b*llshit?
It is so common, but also, such a massive load of crap.
Failing at what? And why should anyone be scared?
(Please note that I'm talking here more about myself than anyone else.)
(And I'm also going to come back to this topic, soon.)
There's a thing, a way of working out, apparently, called "Failing".
So the point is, you do something until you physically "fail" - your body gives out.
You don't count.
You don't measure the distance.
You go till you fail.
You go till you go.
I'm not going to go into the physical benefits of this or the lack of, that's for other people to discuss who know much more about this, but.
The reason I find this interesting is that failing itself becomes a thing. A thing that is fine, all the time. Not THE thing you fear most.
You workout, till you fail. Only to workout again, to fail, again.
It sets up quite a healthy relationship with the term.
So, let's fail.
And then fail again.




so Yoga Neil and Mermaid A. will rave through the universe, only drinking shots, with REALLY great abs. 
drunk and fit. rowdy, a little slutty and SO MUCH FUN.

you will eat msg noodles and be great at tap and swimming and riding,

i will eat tubs upon tubs of icecream and i'll be good at yoga and kickboxing.

we will create fear and chaos in the heart of every swede and Adam Levine (RHYME HO) and it will be glorious.

Chaos and Mayhem, + abs.

52 days left.
Make
them
count.

i want sushi.
M.

day 2

Photo-a-day-challenge word is "busy".

I don't like busy.
My year (Jan-July) ran at such an outrageous pace. Of course it is fantastic to have opportunities (and I am very grateful for them) and to really run with them. Being hardworking has never been nor will it ever be a bad thing. I think it's just learning to differentiate between hardworking and almost unforgiving.
We are all human. And I often forget that, I think.
So now I'm sacking off "busy". I've been trying to do this for a while now. It took the help of my former house mistress (boarding school) to understand that I was living in this pattern of work-work-work-burn-out-cry-be-very-ill-then-repeat. Why would anyone choose to do that?
So once I'd realised yes, that is indeed what I do, I decided to really try and work at changing this.

It's not even about how much you do. Or how "busy" the schedule is.
You can have a crazy schedule and not be busy.
Busy, for me, stands for a way of doing things. I would much rather have a lovely full schedule, of exciting projects, cool opportunities and so on, so forth, and not be going about being "busy". You can do all that, and more, be enjoying it, be productive, in control - and not dying (not literally obvs).
Maybe "busy" is the opposite of "in control" for me (not literally, more like a feeling.) "Busy" is the sense of something running away from me, or me trying to catch something. Of there being too much of too much.

So no more busy for me, thanks. I'd like some everything, a lot of it, please, but addressed with a zen-ed head on my shoulders.
"Busy" out of my brain.

So instead of capturing "busy", I will capture the opposite of busy.

These pictures were taken during my month-long session of life in Tallinn. It was divine. And not busy. I did plenty, like plenty-plenty, but I was not busy. I was very active, but no 'busy' in sight.
Ahh, Tallinn.

My yoga challenge hasn't kicked off. I will have some words with myself (ha ha). No but seriously.
But I did do some hardcore zumba today. It has hardcore. And good.

This is a ramble-y post.

What does "busy" mean to you?


Green tea, and peace out.
M.

"No"vember

Happy 1st of November, everyone!


I did some drawing today. In honour of having a brand new month, woo!
And I think the drawing does, quite successfully, sum up what I want this month to be(come).

"No"vember.
What are you saying "no" to?
What am I saying "no" to?

I'm a firm believer in saying "yes".
But sometimes it's okay to take a second and realise how great it is to still know when to say "no".
And what to say "no" to.


So.
There's this, and this.

The yoga-a-day challenge is such a good thing to do for actually getting to know some new poses, learning some of the names and just getting into a steady habit of doing yoga.
Not a lot, just a little, but every day.
(Sorry for the appalling yoga-picture below. It was way past midnight when I decided to get involved. Tomorrow's will be better.)

I don't really know why the photo-a-day appeals to me.
I was thinking some time ago (this was actually in a conversation with A.) that for "a creative person" I'm not really creating anything at the moment. And by that I don't mean physical, tangible things. For me it's more a way of looking at things.
And since I have time to do this at the moment - why not.

This photo-a-day just encourages to see, and notice. And look closer. And maybe assess a little differently than before. And to really pinpoint.
I'm hoping this will make autumn more palatable.
(Again, sorry for the photo - I'll get going with both tomorrow.)

And therefore, there's this, and this.

Happy "No"vember.
M.

7

CHALLENGE WEEK.

So me and J. (the housemate) have decided to turn this week into CHALLENGE WEEK.

We were zumba-ing on the Wii last night - and I mean, the tragedy had to be witnessed. I was genuinely tasting my lungs and J. was exclaiming to the big Jesus Christ. It was hi-lol-ri-ous.
Sweat was poured, dancing was done, water was drunk.

So now we've decided to have a "Challenge Week" and zumba every day. To become less tragic.

PS. Anyone who starts to diss zumba as a form of working out has never clearly either a) done it or b) has done it, but didn't DO it. ya know?

Zumba, WOO.
M.