maybe

Maybe it's too much - these big cities.

I mean, why are all these people here?
I went down to the shops today, and on my way to our microcosm I must have seen at least 20 different nationalities?
Not an anthropological experiment, but a trip to the bank, and then to the shops.
20 nationalities. At least.

Why are they all here?
I know why I am here.
Why are they all here?
But it was nice today.
I decided to smile at everyone basically. Not annoyingly though - just had a look about me that implied that I was not going to stab or shoot anyone at all (that is what "smiling at people" means here, most of the time. And okay, it depends where you are, and everything. Whatever.)
I had a chat with this girl, about her coat. (Leopard print. Turned out it was from H&M.)
Then I went to some Polish shop that I passed and got some nice tomato-and-pepper sauce.

There is an interesting play called "San Diego", by ...I've completely forgotten, and for the sake of this argument doesn't really matter (David Craig maybe?), anyway - an interesting play, "San Diego".
Amongst other things, it talks about ideas of belonging, and placement/displacement.
There's a bit in it where he discusses the amount of people a human mind can actually fully comprehend, as a microcosm of living together.
I seem to remember the number was 250.
Two hundred, and fifty.
That's the number of people at which the human mind still fully grasps its community.


Maybe it is too much.
M.

♎

A perpetual search for balance.

Maybe that's the reason why?M.

a chance

WE MUST GIVE IT A CHANCE
Fate, must be granted, a chance.
A risk. A gamble.

Just a chance. Nothing more.
So it's not nulled by default.
Just a chance.

GIVE IT, A CHANCE,
to become something.
to grow into something.
before saying, no, or too hard,
or too out there, or too
WHATEVER.
just a chance

or i'm not worth it. or it's too good to be true.
it doesn't have to be hard,
it doesn't have to be difficult.
sometimes things just are. but if dismissed,
they will never amount to anything.
unless given a shot to grow
maybe it will.
maybe it won't.
the fuck knows.
but as long as i've done a little,
just a little to see what's going to happen,
i can at least know that it wasn't my loss
it isn't my regret
cause i didn't slam the door,
i didn't forget to thank them,
i didn't look away,
i didn't not smile

what if it doesn't?
Oh, but what if it does.

maybe

Maybe true perfect simple happiness is in walking home with some sausage in your bag, smiling at strangers, on a sunny sunny sunny road.

Maybe, M.