got soul?

This is a post about soul.

If we're honest, our soul is all we have.

I gave an interview today.

It gave me some interesting insight about my very self as well.

Or at least where I am, in this life.

Things are shifting.

Everywhere, all the time.

Protect your soul.

With love.

M.

...

KEEP
YOUR
BALANCE

Keep it tight,
and keep it close,
'cause I will find love,
and love will find me,
but if I let it rock my boat,
I'll never be happy.


Peace out.
Yours truly.
M.

beach life

This is how I'd like to live.

http://www.abeachcottage.com/beach-cottage-tour

Beach.
M.

reading list

...from Rachel Brathen.
If you don't know her, go check her out.
http://www.rachelbrathen.com/

Anyway.
A super short reading list I plan to come back to after Finland and Midsommar.
Law of Attraction by Esther Hicks.
And also some Eckhart Tolle. I think this has been a long time coming.

I hope I get along well with these books.
I want some reading to really, really shake my brain.

And it's also time to update the blog appearance once more.
This always means a time to get back to writing and drawing and doing creative things a lot more.
Cause it annoys me to no end when I realise that I've been in a non-creative hole for a bit.

Oh, also, I realised the tour is starting soon so I want to start practising the piano, ready to utilise the grand pianos in the concert places.
So excited. For this.
Seriously.

And so here I am, downloading some music, drinking tea, and getting ready for my Fin-dventure a la Midsommar-madness.
Packing list also includes:
Swimsuit (for the forest lake YES)
Drawing pad (I need to sharpen dem pencils)
"Women who run with the wolves" (Recommend strongly)
And of course, in true Nordic style, mosquito repellent.

Have a super awesome weekend everyone.
I plan to return on Monday night having spent time drawing, swimming, breathing, meditating, probably skipping over some meadows, and just resting. Fingers crossed I get to row a boat. That would simply be nothing short of ideal.

So.
Not to underestimate the weekend ahead.
Not only is it the turning point in the year, and the seasons, plus it should also be some crazy moon situation, as I've heard.
Think good thoughts.
The shortest night of the year is so good for this.
And those Nordic ones reading this, go into a forest and see what's going on.
I mean, there's a reason our ancestors did that. Go find your luck and good fortune.
Spend some nature time. Get muddy and dewy and wet.

HAPPY SOLSTICE.
I'll leave you with Lana.

Peace.
M.

gap

Whenever there's a gap in my blogging I can tell (and probably so can you) that it's a tricky patch.
But my tricky patches used to last months, now it's a few days - YAY!
I award myself a point.

But the main thing is that I'm moving, and things are moving.
And as opposed to digging myself into a deeper hole (which we all love doing), I'm getting myself out of it.
With the help of some trusty trusty, trusty friends.
Shout-outs from the heart go out to:
(in alphabetical order)
A.
E.

the Pretty one.
And last, but so not absolutely no-frikkin'-way last, the Spanish one.

Thank you.
I know I've said this to you each, at random times, but it's true.
And I don't expect you to help me so I'd thank you and fall over in gratitude, but I am, so truly grateful.
Because without friends like you I would never in a trillion years have the courage to do or decide the way I've decided. (So cryptic, ha!)

So.
Happy Saturday to all of you.
I'm off to see some friends.

With love.
As always.
M.

seal

This is a seal, and he is spinning.
Watch him spin.

Seal.
M.

http://vimeo.com/53192658

sense

this makes the most sense
out of anything
ever

no knowledge is knowledge unless you make it yours
unless this means something to you it's useless
so even if someone you respect to the Moon and back says something and you simply don't agree with, you don't have to bend your mind to do that

if it matters to you, keep it.
if it makes sense to you, believe it.
if it makes you feel clarity, follow it.

it doesn't matter whether it's a system or whether you've borrowed bits and pieces from here and there - if it is something that makes you grounded and hopeful and excited, if this knowledge is yours, that is the only thing that matters.

Sense.
M.

moment

How good is it to just sit down sometimes.

Moment.
M.

picnic

On Saturday, we had a picnic outdoors.
Me, dad and the Mrs.
We got some pizza, and a thermos with green tea/Earl Grey infusion.
And it was sunny and over-all a lovely idea.

We had two pizzas: one with added blue cheese and pineapple which is like my childhood favourite. And then one with all the spicy stuff.

Also, I've never really been on a nice sunny skiing holiday and this just felt so so much like a fit time at some after-ski place. So I suddenly found myself battling serious feelings about having a ski trip.

Seriously. Yay, for winter picnics.

Have a winter picnic.
M.

clouds

Okay I JUST realised I honestly cannot remember the last time I stared at some clouds and tried to recognise the shapes? You know, that thing?
I love it and I used to do it all the time.
And this might not sound that bad to some of you, but seriously, for me this is wrong.
So wrong.
And this needs to be fixed, pronto.
As soon as the sun comes up, and I see some clouds, I will look at them.
And find all the unicorns and dragons, and mountaintops, and eyeballs, and whatevers.

Cloud-watching.
M.

lose

I've been watching Biggest Loser on and off for a long time.
A lot of people don't like it, I get why someone would find it boring, if it's just not their cup of tea. But to passionately not like it, beats me. Calm down.
Whatever.

Point is.
I've watched a lot of it.
First of all, the trainers are heroes. Simple.
Not just because of the workout and nutrition knowledge, but, how they read the people on the Biggest Loser ranch place, how they read them, and work at breaking down their walls, and the walls are high. High, high, high.
I know a few people have tuned in and go, "Oh, I don't like the way they shout at the people" and blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah.
It
is
there
for
a
reason

Seriously.

ANYWAY.
The only reason I'm talking about this is to post some before and afters of the contestants.
This was last season's winner, Danni.



Now then.
A few seasons ago there were these two sisters, Olivia and Hannah.
Hannah had been working towards going to the Olympics as a volleyball player and then had a back injury and it was all over.
So what she did was eat, eat, and do nothing, and pity herself, and she ate some more and just in the middle of all of it just got lost.
This girl was just lost.
And this is where the trainers come in.
This is NOT about dropping the number on the scale! It's just not. They rebuild themselves. The trainers rebuild them. There bodies get so exhausted that their walls break down and they climb out, out of the crap they have decided to surround themselves with. This cold hard layer of "I can't" or "I am too weak" or "I don't know" or whatever. The pity and being the victim. Never being good enough. All of this.
And
they
just
come
out

This is Hannah's before and after. And below her sister Olivia.

When fitness makes you YOU.
M.

what you imagine

What kind of a life did I imagine?
What if there was no fear?
What if I had no fear?

I mean, these questions are so interesting, I don't even know where to begin.

Lucky are those who dream a lot.
Because in dreams there are no boundaries and there is no fear.
We grow up with people giving us advice and warnings and cautionary tales and big bad wolves and the rest. So many limits, and so many boundaries.
Things you shouldn't do, words you mustn't say, ideas that won't get you anywhere.
And so on.
And so forth.

"Live the life you have imagined".
This life that sometimes shows itself in the deep deep warm darkness of your dreams. The one you don't ever voice because it's so secret and so precious, that merely talking about it might tarnish the purity of the divine dream.
The things you want, and need, and just thinking about it feels like drinking from the cup of unicorn paradise.
The dreams that sometimes get lost and also get forgotten.

Also.
Think of the word "imagine". Imagine the word "imagine".
It is just so huge, so huge and wonderful.
Imagining, and imagination.

I don't often entertain myself with thoughts like this.
Because I'm "rational", and "reasonable", and "logical", and I "listen to my head".
Whatever, blah, blah, blah.
Point is.
Dreaming is the steam and the fuel.
Fine, let's say you're clever enough to build a frikkin' train.
But if there's no juice in the tank, the train won't run, will it, smarty-pants?

So for all the glorious cleverness - I must dream.
And listen to the dreams I find.

And then, and only then, really truly live the life I have secretly imagined all along.

And be the person I have imagined I want to become.
M.

fitness

Time for a fitness post!

I started my strength training project, eg. lifting weights.
And so far, in so many words, I feel bad-ass.

And seriously, this is just after 2 sessions.
I'm not going to recite benefits of doing strength training, and of building muscle, because we have Google for that.
All I'm saying is - do it.

Do you even lift?
M.

personal

What a beautiful envelope.

Happy Tuesday. 
M.

arrive

I'm so confused right now, but I will just have to get over it and let it go.

Also, the fog down below just illustrates how this feels, the confusion just coming and hitting you in the face.

F*ck this.

Wish me luck.
M.

return

I wonder how long it's going to take me to catch up with myself.

As in, I'm here now! In Tallinn. Or like, physically in Tallinn but honestly my head is all over the place at the moment.
I've been back for 4 days now and they've gone by very suddenly and with little or no awareness at all really, of anything.
Hey ho, I needed to sleep which I did.
But I'm getting a little restless.
So very soon I'm going to do..something.

I think I'm going to clean my space first. Make sure that the room I have in Tallinn for my use is airy and clean and ordered and mine.
I never used to enjoy a clean space because I think my head was so cluttered. But now that I've done quite a lot of work on what is what, and why and where and who, and there's so much more clarity, I really feel like I need to be in it, need to have it around me.
So I think that's number 1 on the list.

...I haven't got to number 2 yet.

However, here is something I do know.
I've said this to my friends before - why wait till much later on to go through with what is known as "the midlife crisis"?
(Yes, I know not everyone goes through this. And I'm happy for these people.)
What does this even mean?
What this usually implies is people going through some quite dramatic and highly emotional times which more often than not ends up in them re-evaluating and/or questioning their life, purpose, meaning, et cetera, add whatever else.

So my question is - why wait till then? 
If you feel that something I just not right, or just not clicking, PLEASE, DO NOT WAIT.
Sort it now, look at this today.
The sooner you shift what's misplaced and mend what's broken or discover what's lost and so on the better. Because these things do not just vanish and go away, they usually get stronger, even when hidden, and therefore harder to change or let go of.
Think of weeds. I'd rather get them out today than wait till they've stuck their roots really deep under all the nice patio tiles, ya know.

So, whatever it is, please, please have the courage to look it in the eye and see it for what it is.
It could be something small and rather simple.
If it's not, don't be afraid to ask for help. (I really recommend good, loyal friends. Love my parents as I do, they are just too involved.)

Don't look away from what you could be at your free-est. 
And close your eyes and imagine how good it would feel.
This is not about living on a beach or not having a job or eating chocolate cake every day, this is about you being the most you.
I don't yet know, I can but imagine, but it's about a thousand-fold better compared to where I was before, following a path, not knowing who's it is or why or what or where or HUH?
Where is the sense of waiting till I'm older if I can change this now, and take responsibility for my choices?
Makes
No
Sense

So.
Please, give yourself a chance to be the you-est you.
Some things end and their time runs out, so let them go.
Don't hang on if you know in the pit of your stomach or back of your mind it is really over and finished and outlived its natural life.

Spring is coming.
Have some serious courage, breathe deep and go be YOU - whatever that may mean, to you.

With love.
M.

disney

I salute you, people of Disney.

"Paperman".
And the power of dreams, I guess. 
M.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTLySbGoMX0&feature=share

kick some butt

I have the urge to kick some serious butt.
This will happen tomorrow (it is currently 11:45pm) and take off especially once I'm back in the homeland and will be reunited with my gym.

Butt, you shall be kicked.
M.

va-va-voom!

If you want it, I'm gonna be Va-Va-Voom.
I like "too much".

M.

useful

Today is a useful day!
It's so nice and sunny outside and I've decided to make this a useful one.

I think I'm almost a the point where I can book a flight back!!!
Seriously excited about this!
It will give this whole moving project some structure (finally). So let the ball roll!

Today's hyper interesting tasks include stuff like, buy bubblewrap, or buy tape. So all-round riveting projects. And writing more lists is also on the list.

Me and my sunglass chain are gonna head to the ghetto now.

USEFUL.
M.