новый

NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW

This is the one pull that I feel most.
The call of New-ness.

nuovo
ny
neu
nouveau
UUS


I hear it all the time.

I get bored so easily.
And how ridiculous is it then to try and mimic someone's ideas.
Someone else's life.
Surely this just makes more boredom.

Always.
Always, just more boredom.
More boredom.
For life.

And this is not what I want.

Maybe that's why I like New Year's so much.
The idea of a NEW year.


Not to give any f*cks, but hear what I hear.
See what I see.
Do what I do.
Follow what I follow.


Here's the thunder.
With love.
M.


I'm thinking of a new photoshoot.

sell all the things

Tomorrow, Saturday, it's time for a huge huge vintage/2nd hand sale in Tallinn!
And Spanish and I have bought a table to get our hands wet with the buying and selling madness.

So currently my room is in a state unlike any other, because for the first time in 7 years I have all my clothes in the same place and out at the same time.
But I'm powering through!

Gotta wash, gotta dry, gotta pack 'em - and then I'm all ready for tomorrow!

First wash (whites) is on.
Next on the agenda is putting the to-keep items into boxes, which will stay in my room.
And the rest of the stuff into the suitcase and huge Ikea bag.
I'm thinking of making "spring/summer" and "autumn/winter" signs, so it's easier for the people to browse through.
I think that would help.
And we're also planning on getting some biscuits - I'd rather haggle eating biscuits, than not, y'know.

Getting this done will be a big thing for me.
It's been on the want-to-do list for so long, and it will mark another step towards the place I wish to get to.

And I will.

Website handy in English.
http://kirbufestival.telliskivi.eu/en/


Gosh, I want to get to the end of this.

Yours truly.
M.


(Doutzen forever in thr backdrop haha)

saturday

This was Saturday.

This is the Spanish one.
And this is fun.

Naised, rä.
M.

prince rama

This is insane(-ly good).

New age glitter madness from Brooklyn.
I mean, just listen to this song.
This makes me want to dance on a meadow, naked and glittery.
With horses, at dawn.
And I don't know.
Flowers in my hair.

And I mean, really do that.
Really do that.

Prince Rama - "So Destroyed".

DANCE YOUR SOUL OUT.
M.

les femmes

Women, I think you are all magnificent creatures. 

Happy your day to you, women here and there!

Mothers, and sisters, and daughters, and wives, and girlfriends and girl friends, and teachers, and lawyers, and busdrivers, and waitresses, and singers, and dancers and leaders and followers and CEOs and builders and women with lots of children and no children and women who like staying home and those who like going out, women with sweet natures and women with crazy ambitions.
Just
all
women

A tank, a fire and a fountain rolled into one.
Especially now that spring is coming, don't sell yourself short.
If you won't listen to you, no one else will.
If you won't respect you, no one else will.
Spring is such a feminine season so ride it like a pony, or a wave or whatever you fancy, point is, ride it.

Quote of the day, from A.
"Ditto to you wolf woman!
Lol coach of the female universe."

I think you are all awesome, in how much power you all carry, and for just being so HAWT.

Congrats.

Les femmes.M.

Super tacky, but you get the point.



This is what I was actually looking for.

phantom

And they arrived.

The "Phantom of the Opera" audition music is in my inbox and I'm literally DYING. Like, DYING.
With excitement and I don't even know what!?

Total
oh
em
gee


I will write more about this later.
For now, I'm just gonna repeat.

OH
EM
GEE

And A's arriving tomorrow morning.
And I just finished a loooad of macarons with dad+Mrs.

OH

EM

GEE



Devil doesn't play fair. 
M.


Like I'm going to diiiiieee with excitemeeenntnttttntntntnnntntnt. (Hello, audition! Thine ass will be kicked. Please, wish me steady nerves and the rest!)

anthem

so loud

My constant anthem.
And one of the 3000 Maria songs that sometimes people holla at me.
(Blondie is still number 1, I think.)

Representing being way too much all the time, since 1989.

Du-du-du-dudu-du-du-duu.
M.

blackbird, fly

I don't know why but this song fixes something. Whatever the fracture, this fixes it.

Into the light
of the dark black night

And fly.
M.

bare bones

I don't like Rihanna's image and I don't like the vast majority of her music.
This, however, is not in that category, at all.
On the contrary.

I threw my hands in the air I said show me something

Something in the way you move.
M.

the one to set you free

The amount of love I have for this tune is crazy.
M.

I could be the one to make you feel that wayI could be the one to set you free

i follow rivers

This song
This song
This song
This song
This song
This song
This song
This song

Be the ocean where I unravel.

Can I follow?
M.

short fuse

Well, well.
I got really pissed off today. Just because (STILL) so, so much is up in the air. (Through this packing process I've realised that I'm such a control freak with some weird things. Like I'm currently frustrated out of my eyeballs because I can't book my flight.)
And like, ugh, whatever.
So, I decided to apply a lot of make-up and do my hair just for the purposes of packing.
And for the purposes of not feeling like a forlorn sock (which, A. can vouch for this, is my all-time least favourite feeling).
Then I played some loud music (from the playlist GO) and burnt some lavender incense.
And calmed the f*ck down.

And I'm gonna carry on packing.

But before I do this I'm gonna give myself a little point an a pat on shoulder (can't reach my own back too well) for catching my friend, anger, by it's tiny little vicious tail and dealing with it.
So, there you go, self, I'm giving you a point!

Ride the wave.
M.

grateful

Something happens.

You follow your path. You wake up, go to sleep, wake up, go to sleep.
You go through the steps and the motions. Think your thoughts and do your thing.
Swim and swim, and it's all fine.
You walk the path.
And then something happens.
Suddenly something just happens.
Something happens to you or around you that just flicks a switch.

Something
happens

And then you kind of, notice.
Suddenly you notice the path, the track, the flow, the motions, and the steps.
Then after that you see what's happened.
You see you, on this track, that is not even yours.
You see the steps, that are not even yours.
And then you see, that this you is not even you.

All because something happened.
A little insignificant something that should've been added and drowned in the white noise that is life.

But it doesn't.
It won't fade out. This feeling stays with you.
It won't disappear, because it made you look up and see that this is not your path.
It nudged you off this course, that only you know how you got onto anyway.
It gives you back the greatest gift, the belief that you can do anything.
You can do what you choose. Become what you choose.
It gives you back your fire.
And oh my, it makes you so grateful.

Something
happens.

So have the courage to go again.
Throw the dice, again. Start, again.
Have the courage to tread a new path.
Because it will pay off.
And you will have people to help you and to care about you.
And at the end of this you will be a more balanced, grateful, content version of you.
The you that is strong and not scared and doesn't just dodge. But instead faces things head on, because why not. Because being a frikkin pirate of life is great, and courageous.
And so much better than being like a halfway version of yourself.
Because let's be honest, that can go and suck d*ck.
Be the pirate, be the Beyonce, be the adventurer, the traveller.
The poet, the painter, the dancer, the singer.
The child, the successful business woman.
The linguist, the acrobat.
The warrior and the wolf.

Because, WHY NOT.

The Devil still doesn't play fair.
M.

adventure (again)

I think adventures are everywhere to be found. You don't have to be a pirate or a mountaineer to go on an adventure. Adventures just happen when you have the right mindset, the "Yes, to adventures!" mindset.
Reasons I want to go to Stockholm again.
Adventures.

I just want to go on adventures all the time.
M.

hello

I really hope I've made this whole reading-experience thing a bit better, the font clearer, and so forth.
Or maybe it hasn't made a difference at all.
As long as it's not worse.

And the new background, for this new energy that I'm after.
I hope the atmosphere has stayed pretty much the same, but I felt you know, if I want to cut and dye my hair I might as well give the blog a re-touch as well.

New.
M.

under the same sun

This movie, "Under the Tuscan Sun", has been with me through every move I've ever seen.
I don't know how I found it, but it just arrived in my life and it has stayed.
I haven't seen many movies that have this effect on me. It's a mixture of brilliant writing (based on an autobiographical novel), a brilliant performance by Diane Lane, the colours of Tuscany, the great excitement-creating soundtrack and just, the sense of life giving new exciting opportunities, even when you really really do not expect any of them.
And as is the tradition, with boxes comes "Under the Tuscan Sun".
Yes, yes, yes.

The tap.
Hmm, interesting.
There's this 'tap' theme. I don't want to give much away, in the hopes you'll watch it one day when you need a pick-me-up. But yeah, maybe that's why I like the idea of "the tap".
Interesting..

Bramasole.
Bramare, to yearn for, and Sole, the sun.
Yes, beautiful.

Say "yes".
With love.
M.

morning

Good Sunday morning-ish time, ladies and gentlemen, and all your fabulous pets and whoever!

So today I'm planning to make up on the packing scale for yesterdays fun-day. Not that today won't be a fun-day, I'm sure it will, just home-fun.
A's gone into town to see people, J. is getting ready for lunch with parents, so it's just me with my porridge and Vit C drink, and Classic FM.

London's busy, you know.
There's just a time and place for everything, and a time for someone to enjoy whatever. Bottomline - things vary. Millions and millions of variables in every little thing we do, all the time.
And my time here is done. I'm so glad, again, that I've had the balls to look this fact in the face and act on it. So many people never tire of London, so so many people never tire of the place where they live, but also, so so many people are just too convenient to look the fact in the face that there is another place where they would be much, much happier. What this place is for me is yet unknown. I'm just going to Tallinn to recharge, breathe in, breathe out, anchor for a while, and then figure out where and why I'm going.
All in good time.

For now, I must make a loooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg list of people, and places, and sights, and sounds, and actual things I want to take with me from London.
September 2006, this was a long time ago.

But for now, have a lovely morning, or if you're in a different timezone ahead of me then have a lovely afternoon, or if you're in a timezone behind me, I hope you're still sleeping.

Packing-mania.
M.

(blank sheet)

Rise of the Guardians (2012)

GOOD FUN, GUYS!
Saw this yesterday with my nephew, and it was the 3D showing which I usually ignore. Most movies are just better in 2D.
BUT. Firstly, you could tell this was conceived with 3D in mind, which makes a huge difference. It had some stunning 3D moments. And the whole thing is really a Disneyland-joyride so 3D suits it fine.
It was dubbed into Estonian, but quite well done.
And it had a nice heartwarming point to it! Fit for all adults as well - "Don't forget to play, y'all."So all in all, this was great!

Sandman was my fave.
M.

lessons we need to learn

Each has their own.
Everything is different
Men are different from women
And women different from men
And then each is different from the next
And every day is different
Every life
Every second
And what people do
And what they don't
And why they do what they do
And should they have done it
Should anyone do anything, at all
Or should we just not
Blah, blah, blah
I mean, really

Co-exist and co-inspire
That's all anyone can do
We see things and we can't act on it
Because these things are not our things
They are someone else's
So all we can do, is co-exist and co-inspire
And make sure we don't waste
Waste our time
Waste our talent
Waste our breath
Waste our sunrises and sunsets
And waste our joy
Because life is hard enough for us not to corrupt ourselves
So get on a swing
Laugh too loud
And delight in the ridiculous
Find someone to marvel with
Because everything is too serious anyway
Too serious and too sad
And too tragic
And too unfair and unjust
So keep hold of your own joy
Make sure you keep your shine
Be kind to yourself
And let others live through their own mistakes


D for December is for Damage control.


i've almost got rid of it
the bullshit of needing to get acceptance, or you know
"self-worth" from outsiders
almost

We each have our lessons to learn.

I have a hyacinth in my room.
With love.
M.

deep

Stuff's got so deep and meaningful lately that I feel it's about time I really lighten the mood.
So therefore I'm just gonna post some pictures of nice stuff, and whatever.

Life's more fun when we act dumb.
Thankyou, Example.

I might take you up on that.
M.