our fears

So.

Fears, right.

Our fears.

And how to tell the difference between a fear and the truth.

You know, we're told to trust our gut feeling?

Our gateway to universal truth?

But how to tell the difference between a gut feeling and a fear?

I guess a gut feeling is in the present.

You cannot "gut feel" the future. 

You can fear the future.

But the present, the here and now, that's a different game court.

I think.

Bottomline.

RECEIVE THE GOOD YOU'RE GIVEN.

With no reservations or past or future.

Really really truly receive it.

Accept it, embrace it, fully and honestly. 

With love.

M.

January 25, 2013

Something happens.

You follow your path. You wake up, go to sleep, wake up, go to sleep.
You go through the steps and the motions. Think your thoughts and do your thing.
Swim and swim, and it's all fine.
You walk the path.
And then something happens.
Suddenly something just happens.
Something happens to you or around you that just flicks a switch.

Something
happens

And then you kind of, notice. 
Suddenly you notice the path, the track, the flow, the motions, and the steps.
Then after that you see what's happened.
You see you, on this track, that is not even yours.
You see the steps, that are not even yours.
And then you see, that this you is not even you.

All because something happened.
A little insignificant something that should've been added and drowned in the white noise that is life.

But it doesn't.
It won't fade out. This feeling stays with you.
It won't disappear, because it made you look up and see that this is not your path.
It nudged you off this course, that only you know how you got onto anyway.
It gives you back the greatest gift, the belief that you can do anything.
You can do what you choose. Become what you choose.
It gives you back your fire.
And oh my, it makes you so grateful.

Something
happens.

So have the courage to go again.
Throw the dice, again. Start, again.
Have the courage to tread a new path.
Because it will pay off.
And you will have people to help you and to care about you.
And at the end of this you will be a more balanced, grateful, content version of you.
The you that is strong and not scared and doesn't just dodge. But instead faces things head on, because why not. Because being a frikkin pirate of life is great, and courageous.
And so much better than being like a halfway version of yourself.
Because let's be honest, that can go and suck d*ck.
Be the pirate, be the Beyonce, be the adventurer, the traveller.
The poet, the painter, the dancer, the singer.
The child, the successful business woman.
The linguist, the acrobat.
The warrior and the wolf.

Because, WHY NOT.

The Devil still doesn't play fair.
M.

turn it into

There was this thing somewhere - "Don't dwell on the past, but turn it into art."

I have been creating somewhat lately, or at least I don't feel uninspired.

But still, I feel, there's so so much room, for more.
So many things I want to do and so so many things I want to accomplish.

So many ideas that are kind of there, but kind of not.
Seedlings.

But hey, can't rush stuff.
It gets there, when it gets there.
And I'm not brave enough to talk loudly of not-even-new-born ideas.
But soon.
I'd love to talk about these things, out loud, soon.

For now, keep creating.
And I'll do the same.

Yours truly.
M.

lazy yogi

There's this guy on tumblr, calls himself the Lazy Yogi.
And he dishes out some wisdom alright.
His website is really good, too.
http://lazyyogi.org/

This was a response written to some babe, but there's a lot of clever stuff in there which applies to many many people I know.

Hope you are all going to have a peaceful Monday.
M.

Before you open up to others again, open up to yourself. It sounds as if you are still carrying around past pain. 

Instead of dwelling on and reliving how things went in the past, take your attention deeply into this moment. What traces of the past do you bring with you into the here and now?

You don’t need to fight it or change it but rather to become abundantly clear and aware of it. Then you can see it for what it is: past thoughts you are continuing to react to. If you continue to react to a past which no longer exists, there will be no end to your pain. 

Time erases the past on its own and you will move on, but you don’t have to wait for that to happen. Awareness practices such as the one I describe above in combination with daily meditation will help you to let go. 

“There is no remedy for love but to love more.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

The more you close yourself off, the more you will feel isolated. It is to your own benefit that you remain open and loving, of anything be it a flower or a puppy or another human. 

Just because things played out one way in the past doesn’t mean you should assume it will be so forever into the future. Although it may be worth re-examining the kinds of boyfriends you feel attracted to and why. 

Namaste :)

past

The past is crashing in through the door like a fast tank-truck, with a really drunken yet determined driver.

I really hope it's the full-Moon or something.
I honestly, honestly do. Because this is super boring.
I mean, none of this ever emerges without reasons.
So I'm doing my best to understand how and why this needs to be dealt with.

Sitting here, but feeling like 4 years ago is not my idea of fun.

It just feels like there are thousands of untied ends where my ordered thoughts should be.
And all this mess needs is just some work.
I need to tie my ends, if I want to get anywhere.

Happy Friday night, my dears.
M.

blame

Placing blame makes no sense.
But I do.
I blame you.
I swear I'll stop.

But I do, I blame you.
And you, and you.

But the truth is.
The only, and I mean, the only thing I need to realise, is that this is not a competition.
Life.
No, seriously.
This is not a competition.
I'm not competing, nor do I have to prove, anything, at all. Ever.
Old habits die hard, but they too will die.
And disappear.

I want to forever be my own first choice.
And live accordingly.
According to this one very very very simple principle:
I will forever be my own first choice.

I think that is my biggest fear.

1st.
M.

nostalgia

I've found so many nostalgia-inducing articles lately. Pictures, old posts on old websites that I've forgotten, old cards, from old friends, messages.

Nostalgia.
Not a frequent visitor in my head and heart.
I know it fascinates A., but it's never really been my cup of tea.

And then in the last week I've been neck-deep in it.

Funny feeling, isn't it. Nostalgia.

It's cold outside today. M.