news

ALMOST time for some COOL news!

Almost.


For now, I'm drinking tea, clearing out things, and thinking about cool things that could and should happen in my life.
And spring is coming!
May-June-July.

MAY-JUNE-JULY.

For any of you who don't know, these months in Tallinn are GLORIOUS.


So peace out, my darlings!
Magic is something you make.
Follow your own heart, and s_rew all else.

WITH LOVE.
Always.
M.

wednesday

Bye bye, Wednesday!

Hello, Thursday.

I'm watching this brilliant BBC documentary called The Code.

It's all up on YouTube and if you have some time you should most definitely check it out.

Really really awesome.

I love it when the "serious" things are spun so they appear much more tangible.

Like this science theory.

Awesome.

I'm a sucker for shapes and structures.

So very excellent.

Everything follows a path.

Everything.

One thing after another after another after another after another after another after another after another after another after another after another 

Cause and effect.

Cause and effect.

Cause and effect.

Chaos is just cause and effect.

All I'm saying is.

Sometimes we are faced with situations which just are.

And we can do this or do that, some things just are.

All we can do is all we can do.

And the rest will be, or will not be.

Take comfort in the fact that this apparent chaos is just cause and effect.

Let's just drown everything in love and gentleness and kindness.

Let's see how this works.

Keep your thoughts in check.

Love to all of you.

As always.

Yours truly.

M.

magnetic

I hope the thing that was here today and now has hopefully left was actually a magnetic storm.

Cause this day was not fun.

In other news.
- worked on the program for tomorrow
- sorted some music for a concert on the 30th so next Saturday
- did some awesome daydreaming/planning with the pretty one
- felt her babyNINJA'S HEART BEAT.
(let's just let this sink in)
- joined Instagram (I'm not yet taking pouty selfies, but knowing me, this will happen)
- watched many episodes of Hannibal (the new one with Mads Mikkelsen, LOVE)
- agreed to an interview on Monday
- and ate lasagne

So that was my day.
Tomorrow will be busy.
Wake-up, rehearsal, concert-ready, concert, rehearsal.

I really want to get all the social media things into a structure.
I mean, yeah, it's not usually my cup of tea.
And I always feel like I need to understand, visualise in my head, what role they have.
What part to play.

 So for now, I'll leave you to bedtime.

Yours truly.

M.

mood board

Also, where in the 7 heavens is my mood board?
That A. and I started making in AUGUST?

Pro
cras
ti
na
tion

na
tion


No.
Refuse.
Refusal.
I mean, REALLLLYYY.

Do the things you need to, now.
Do the things you want to, now.
Do the things you are thinking of, now.

Now-now.
Yours truly.
M.

how-to

My simple how-to for cheering myself up?

AC/DC and green tea, with jasmine.

Seriously, the riff of Back in Black is just unbeatable.
Just as a thing, and then thinking of it in Iron Man.
I mean, this just cannot be beat.

It's like the instant-coffee of cheering myself up.

Also.
I never talk inspirational women.
Helen Mirren, though, guys.
You know.

Helen Mirren.

Peace out, and I hope you're having an excellent Thursday.
Happy whatever.
Happy anything/everything to you.

With love and light.
Yours truly.
M.

things

(un)important

I love this.

I think this is how I see love.

Appreciating the things, "the unimportant things you find important".
I love that.

Yours truly.
M.

turn it into

There was this thing somewhere - "Don't dwell on the past, but turn it into art."

I have been creating somewhat lately, or at least I don't feel uninspired.

But still, I feel, there's so so much room, for more.
So many things I want to do and so so many things I want to accomplish.

So many ideas that are kind of there, but kind of not.
Seedlings.

But hey, can't rush stuff.
It gets there, when it gets there.
And I'm not brave enough to talk loudly of not-even-new-born ideas.
But soon.
I'd love to talk about these things, out loud, soon.

For now, keep creating.
And I'll do the same.

Yours truly.
M.

sell all the things

Tomorrow, Saturday, it's time for a huge huge vintage/2nd hand sale in Tallinn!
And Spanish and I have bought a table to get our hands wet with the buying and selling madness.

So currently my room is in a state unlike any other, because for the first time in 7 years I have all my clothes in the same place and out at the same time.
But I'm powering through!

Gotta wash, gotta dry, gotta pack 'em - and then I'm all ready for tomorrow!

First wash (whites) is on.
Next on the agenda is putting the to-keep items into boxes, which will stay in my room.
And the rest of the stuff into the suitcase and huge Ikea bag.
I'm thinking of making "spring/summer" and "autumn/winter" signs, so it's easier for the people to browse through.
I think that would help.
And we're also planning on getting some biscuits - I'd rather haggle eating biscuits, than not, y'know.

Getting this done will be a big thing for me.
It's been on the want-to-do list for so long, and it will mark another step towards the place I wish to get to.

And I will.

Website handy in English.
http://kirbufestival.telliskivi.eu/en/


Gosh, I want to get to the end of this.

Yours truly.
M.


(Doutzen forever in thr backdrop haha)

to-do

- have a good breakfast

- pretty one and lenses
- food-shop (and band-aids!)

- clean the kitchen
- tidy livingroom
- give the key to dad
- pack clothes and bedding
- pack phone charger, and washing stuff
- take a sewing kit
- pack bikini

- oh, and stop the over-thinking

To-do.
M.

blame

Placing blame makes no sense.
But I do.
I blame you.
I swear I'll stop.

But I do, I blame you.
And you, and you.

But the truth is.
The only, and I mean, the only thing I need to realise, is that this is not a competition.
Life.
No, seriously.
This is not a competition.
I'm not competing, nor do I have to prove, anything, at all. Ever.
Old habits die hard, but they too will die.
And disappear.

I want to forever be my own first choice.
And live accordingly.
According to this one very very very simple principle:
I will forever be my own first choice.

I think that is my biggest fear.

1st.
M.

morning

I think every day would start just that little bit better (apart from Sunday mornings, which are just another thing entirely), with a mug like this.
Also, not every morning. But just those mornings when you need the world (or your mug) to tell you to get off your ass and do stuff.

Get shit done.
M.

Love of Life

Why do I often forget this?

The little things.
Buying yourself flowers.
Cooking something nice.
Seeing something extraordinarily beautiful.
This is the simplest, and the best life-force, when times get a little weird.
And it's also so easy to forget.

So let's not.
The pure love of life.

This blog doesn't have much to do with anything, but it's pretty and the pretty one sent it.
http://thepassionism.tumblr.com/

See the little things.
M.

doing things

Hey yo!
I'm doing things. Yay!
I mean, I've just set up a little work station in Vapiano, with my diary/note-book and my laptop, a latte and some biscuit thing.
And so I'm emailing people, and messaging people.
Hence, I'm doing things.
And also, I've been not doing things for so long. So I'm super happy.

And also looking for a good place where to go and finally get my drivers licence sorted.
Spring's coming.

And like Ricky Martin says, "let me undress your soul".
I mean, yes, Ricky. I hear ya.

The beat of the day is a great, great, ridiculous, and great song.

Happy Thursday, guys!
M.

engine

A while ago I started this post about feeling like I turned the engine off.
I mean, a long long while.
It's a shame I don't remember the date, I like to place these things in a linear context. (Way in 2012 I think. October, November?)

And let's be honest - I'm still here. I'm still at a place where the engine is still off.
Like, I used to be SO driven it was crazy.
I don't necessarily want to be like that again, but I want some of it back, so so bad.

I'm not even going to try and figure out what happened, or where did it go.
Did i get scared? Whatever.

Truth is, everything we either look forward to, or everything we are afraid of, it all comes from within ourselves. So it's pointless running.
Cause it's based right here, in my pasty-looking pretty little head.

We project and we receive.
Project different and you receive different.

So why don't I want anything?
You see the thing is, it's really really starting to annoy me.
I want to do things, and look forward to things, but something is not clicking to place.
And it's making me sad, cause it's spring and you know. Spring yayy! Should be the time everyone usually gets super excited.

Ramble-y Tuesday lunchtime.
But whatever.
Where there's a question, you'll receive an answer.
I hope.

Turn. 
it.
on.
M.

the yes-cat

I think the Yes-cat just agrees with everything.
But like, in a fun way.
Like, look at his face.
Any idea you'll throw at him, he will do it and love it.
Adventure-cat.
Now THIS is the face of adventure-cat!

I wanna be the Yes-cat.
M.

without

Since I'm literally going through a phase of not knowing what I want to do with my life, I'm looking for all-sorts of ideas to get me going, in any direction.
Or you know, to zhuzh me.

So.
I think I might go for "things I could not imagine not doing in my life".
I think that would make for a good list.

With or without.
M.

today

Today was a good day.

Picked up some music, practised, got out my diary once more (!!!) - it's been dormant for about 3 weeks, had some Vapiano pasta with the pretty one - creamy chicken all around, thought some good thoughts and had a fairly deep and fairly meaningful with A.
And that's how it rolled.

Bring on Wednesday.

Good Tuesday.
M.

The boxes and I, forever in love.

and window sills

This song just does things.

Home.
M.

stuff

There's a chance that my stuff is arriving soon!
We're talking like a week. This would be such a load off my mind. At the moment it just feels like my poor boxes are hovering somewhere around the other end of Europe. And it's just so not pleasant.

So YAY! I really hope the rest of this runs smooth.

Boxes. 
M.