feather heart

forever is nothing
the drips and drops
follow and fall
forever is nothing
there is you
and my heart
too tender and new
shedding the skin
releasing the leaves
it can hold the old
it can hold the tired
but new

i think we were flowers once
swaying
and smiling
taking in the truth as it comes
i think we were flowers once
me and you
equilibrium
and balance
forever is nothing
there's just flowers

my heart is feathers
and i want the wind
to come and carry
my sun
to yours

and for me
new is new

I'm back (I think)

I miss my blog.

I miss writing and I miss you guys reading.

And I just got this feeling.

I think it's time again, soon.

I wanna be back.

M.

untitled

All life is, is a continuing journey towards our true (or truest) self.

yesterday

Hey, guys!

This week is apparently about Doing.


Today I first of all went and got my hair dyed.
This girl who was in my year at school in Tallinn, is training to be a hairdresser and she needed someone for a dying guinea pig.
And I just had started feeling bored with my colour and she posted on FB asking for a volunteer for Monday.
And so we did it!
I wanted to feel like a cartoon Flame girl.

Pictures below.

And then I had a meeting at the National Opera about this gala we're doing at the summer festival.
It was so nice and inspiring and gave me so much forward driving positive energy.
So thanks, life, for this day!

Peace out. 

Yours truly.

M.

this

Well this just happened.

Omg.

Omg.

I am still so full of adrenaline. 

Crazy.

And I'm so happy and so grateful for this!!

With loovvvee!!!

M.

weekend

Again, completing an old draft.
This was started in the beginning of May.

SO!

My Italian teacher was here end of April-beginning of May and at the end of his teaching period we had 2 concerts.
In addition to individual lessons we had a bunch of rehearsals with the other singers who had flown to Tallinn from allsorts of places around the world.
Croatia
Serbia
Latvia
Lithuania
Japan
Italy
I think I've forgotten someone.
But anyway - a real mix.

And my spring has been truly the one of a hermit.
And it was the most wonderful weekend!
We had our first rehearsals on the 1st of May and the last concert on the 6th of May.
And I just cannot explain how inspired I was by this bunch!!


First of all, the levels of talent, and more importantly, hard work and focus and persistence and consistency these (young) people showed was incredible.
The voices were absolutely mind-blowing.
And secondly, how incredibly nice and generous they were as colleagues!
Just crazy.
And how much fun!
I mean, because a lot of them were from the sunnier sides of Europe their attitude was very different.
So fabulously open and sincere.
Singing on the streets in the Old Town at midnight, the rehearsal fun, and working together, the post-concert meals. All of it.
I am so pleased and grateful that I met this teacher and through him met this bunch of people and got to share that amount of time with them.
It just gives you such energy to focus and work and have fun!

It takes all the work out of work.

Incredible.

I really hope I will get to see at least some of them if not all of them again some time.

And we could all carry on where we most certainly left off.


Here's to inspirational people.
I often forget how much it means and matters, the people who surround you.
It's not just about having people you spend your free time with.
This is all the people, all the time.
People you discuss your passion with, people you work with, people who drive you further, and upwards, and onwards, and give you speed speed speed and fire and life, and make you vivacious and ambitious and joyous, and any other word ending in "-ous", frivolous even.

Just their generosity, blew my mind.

I mean, I have so much performance experience it's crazy, but technically I need to grow in confidence, in terms of opera.

And the attitude of other singers was just so supportive and amazing, again, blew my mind.

I was freaking out before concert number 2 and one of the singer guys just said, "why would you worry. Sing for yourself and god."

None of them added fear, none of them made me feel like I was doing or choosing wrong.

Just an abundance of love and care.

Spectacular.

That's what life is about.
I saw this quote today, that if you cannot find people who help you on your road, walk it alone. I believe Buddha said something along these lines. And I believe this so much.
But I would like to add, once you find the people who Do help you, like you, guard you and keep you, keep them too. Make sure they know you like having them around, share with them, and help them too.

It's cool.
A life-shared.
That's one of the few things I think I truly believe in.
So I think it's time for me to start living by this as well.


Pisces and I celebrated moving in with planting some herbs, and one of them is RISING!
I'm so excited I can't even describe.


Happy Sunday, and Happy Monday!

Yours truly.

As always.

With love.

M.

bodies

As summer is basically here for all intensive purposes, I have found myself thinking more and more about bodies.

It's always a topic - bikini bodies, summer bodies. 

For me personally the idea of faffing around in a bikini is not a problem, I don't cry about it.

However having said this, the approach of summer does make me think about the shape I'm in and how exactly I feel about this.

And then just now, I was on the bus, and I realized that I was telling myself that I shouldn't get into this summer shape excitement.

But why not though!

For starters, I'm lazy.

So therefore this is not brought about by a gnawing discontent with my softer parts, rather I just find myself faced with the realization that I do - for the most part of the year - neglect my body.

And the rebirth of the bikini summer time just makes me feel as if I'm meeting an old friend again, or as if all of a sudden I realized I've kept my pet locked in the basement. Which I wouldn't do.

So why does this body neglect happen.

I always get this omg summer is coming now let's get fit panic, and I think it can very easily come across as a response to the pressure from society to look as a stick, or whatever.

Truth is, this just comes - for me - from quite a positive place. Not go mental and shrink down on a leaf diet to fit into size Child swimwear, BUT it comes from a place of goddamnit sorry thighs that you haven't run or danced in so long, sorry arms that you haven't punched anything, sorry back that you haven't been bent. And sorry insides that I don't fuel you better.

I don't know if any women who get this summer approach panic excitement thing are with me on this one, but I just thought I'd share,y'know. 

It's not about punishing my fat layer because the sun is out. (Whatt.)

It's about letting my muscles run and jump, because the sun is out.

To an onlooking stranger both can seem the same I think. The reality is vastly different.

To me it's a reminder that I have this miraculous tool, my body, and a reminder of how much I DO like it.

(Even if the last time I really worked out was in October........)

(.....)

And I wanna do more!

SO.

Go crazy for your body beautiful, because it's amazing, because it's summer, because you have all the fresh things to eat.

Use the summer beach excitement to bounce about and whatever tinkles your nipples. do it.
Do whatever makes you feel great and celebrate.

This is actually going to be my solid spring-summer theme - celebrating.



Yours truly.
As always.
M.