bodies

As summer is basically here for all intensive purposes, I have found myself thinking more and more about bodies.

It's always a topic - bikini bodies, summer bodies. 

For me personally the idea of faffing around in a bikini is not a problem, I don't cry about it.

However having said this, the approach of summer does make me think about the shape I'm in and how exactly I feel about this.

And then just now, I was on the bus, and I realized that I was telling myself that I shouldn't get into this summer shape excitement.

But why not though!

For starters, I'm lazy.

So therefore this is not brought about by a gnawing discontent with my softer parts, rather I just find myself faced with the realization that I do - for the most part of the year - neglect my body.

And the rebirth of the bikini summer time just makes me feel as if I'm meeting an old friend again, or as if all of a sudden I realized I've kept my pet locked in the basement. Which I wouldn't do.

So why does this body neglect happen.

I always get this omg summer is coming now let's get fit panic, and I think it can very easily come across as a response to the pressure from society to look as a stick, or whatever.

Truth is, this just comes - for me - from quite a positive place. Not go mental and shrink down on a leaf diet to fit into size Child swimwear, BUT it comes from a place of goddamnit sorry thighs that you haven't run or danced in so long, sorry arms that you haven't punched anything, sorry back that you haven't been bent. And sorry insides that I don't fuel you better.

I don't know if any women who get this summer approach panic excitement thing are with me on this one, but I just thought I'd share,y'know. 

It's not about punishing my fat layer because the sun is out. (Whatt.)

It's about letting my muscles run and jump, because the sun is out.

To an onlooking stranger both can seem the same I think. The reality is vastly different.

To me it's a reminder that I have this miraculous tool, my body, and a reminder of how much I DO like it.

(Even if the last time I really worked out was in October........)

(.....)

And I wanna do more!

SO.

Go crazy for your body beautiful, because it's amazing, because it's summer, because you have all the fresh things to eat.

Use the summer beach excitement to bounce about and whatever tinkles your nipples. do it.
Do whatever makes you feel great and celebrate.

This is actually going to be my solid spring-summer theme - celebrating.



Yours truly.
As always.
M.

home

Happy Tuesday night, everyone!

Pisces has joined me in town today so this is our first official night in the pad.

I've been here a little over a week.

So far we've had a celebratory cider, planted some herbs and listened to the crazy loud birdsong.

I think it's a mix of having a park right behind the house and also being on the 5th floor - the birds stay at the very tops of the trees and therefore the clarity of their sound from here is crazy.

It's the most divine soundtrack. 

I unpacked my books today and spoke to dad about the need to celebrate.

Anything. Everything.

Life.

He agreed and said he'd come for a flat-warming party as soon as possible.

I loved his enthusiasm!

So now I'm in bed, ready for sleep.

We will see what tomorrow brings exactly but today I will sleep easier.

Peace and love, darlings.

Yours truly.

As always.

M.

tonight

You know what, I'm going to bed happy tonight.

Really, I just realised this hasn't happened in a while.
That it's 0:38 and I'm in bed and ..smiling!!
So cool!
Excellent.
I'm really really liking this.


Oh, AND, I MOVED!!!
The same flat I helped move E. into some time ago and now the Penthouse is mine! :)
I'm renting for a few months, I decided to spend my spring-summer with circus, ease and happiness.
Therefore, I moved.
And Pisces is joining me soon!!
We're gonna have 2+2Fish=4Fish joint affair for the summer months.

For those who didn't know - I'm also a Piscean.


And now I'm here, in bed.
I've got a window open and the birds are singing.
Why, crazy birds? It's just past midnight!
So I'm in bed, listening to birds singing.
Some candles are burning and I'm drinking coconut water.

I finished some programs today, for Thursday concerts.
Tomorrow I'm going for a walk in the morning, then seeing a run through of this new Donizetti production at the National.
Then dad has offered to get me some stuff I need for the flat - a kettle, a pan so I can cook something, and something to cover the sofa with.


And so, good night.
I'm gonna smile some more and go to sleep.

Yours truly.
Love, always.
M.

25

I AM.

It's my birthday today.

Happy birth day, to me.

I am thinking of the things I am, today.

I Am grateful.

I Am feeling like I'm really moving in the right direction.

I Am love, and I find love in so many places.

I Am trusting life.

I Am fluid.

I Am creative.

I Am making my opportunities.

I Am in motion.

I Am in motion.

I Am expanding.

I Am expanding my mind.

I have love for all of you.

Trust life.

See the bigger picture.

Serve Yourself first as the Master.

Ride the wave and give out Love.

So it will find it's way back to you.

Magic is something you make.

Love love love.

Yours truly.

M.

and so..

..I bow out.

I take my hat, and put it on.
I take my coat, and button it up.
I take my scarf, and then tie it.
I take my bag, and close it, leave all the unwanted bits.
I slip on the gloves, and open the door.

I bow gently, and smize somewhat.
And leave.

I bow out.

Onto the next adventure.

Life is all about choices, and risks.
And decisions.

So this is mine.

I am not this.
I am something entirely different.

And therefore, I bow out.
Because I simply must.
Anything else would simply count as a crime against the Self.

A soul-crime.


So therefore, I take my hat, take a bow, and take a new route.


I Love you all.
Time to revisit some shaping moments in our lives.
Get to know them, and then leave them.

And always recognise the soul-time to bow out, and leave something, that no longer serves you.

Yours truly.
Always.
M.

done

This week is finally over.

I'm so pleased.

Re-cap.
Did some TV recording stuff, then some rehearsals, put together a programme for this school/education concert thing, had two of those on Friday, also saw some theatre, had some interesting emotions, and consequential thoughts, then a great catch-up with M-L, and then a good night out.
And it's done, and I'm so so pleased.

Onto the next one.

Love.
M.

move

I
need
to move

kesäaika

I'm super in the mood for blogging.
This is nice.

https://soundcloud.com/onlychillstep
First of all, this is my current beat.
100% current beat.
This was our Fin-dventure soundtrack as well.
I plan to walk in chillstep through this summer, and onwards.



I have quite the to-do list for today but currently I am concentrating on coffee, an elongated breakfast and 24.
Jack Bauer is not having a good day, as per usual.
Later on I think I'll go over the things I figured out in Finland, and make some coherent notes.

I start the tour in exactly a week.
This means it's get-your-thoughts-focused-o'clock.
And it's only 11.30AM.

Sometimes it's hard just be to okay. Scrap that - not okay, rather "awesome".
What I mean is - because there's this constant sense of "I have to do this", or "I have to do that", and all these thoughts about life and career and whatever, along with some problems, and "issues". Blah blah.
So, it becomes hard to just ride the wave. And genuinely say, yes, I'm doing really well, and not for a day or so, but for a longer period of time.
But this is what we all need to practice.

Kyllä tämä kesäaika kestää koko elämän.

I'm doing pretty super, thanks.
M.

morning

I think every day would start just that little bit better (apart from Sunday mornings, which are just another thing entirely), with a mug like this.
Also, not every morning. But just those mornings when you need the world (or your mug) to tell you to get off your ass and do stuff.

Get shit done.
M.

retrograde

A while ago I wrote about Mercury being in retrograde.
This time around it's time for Pluto to have some fun.
However, when Mercury's thing lasted a month, Pluto will have lots of funsies for 5 months and we're currently a month in.
So.

http://www.finerminds.com/consciousness-awareness/plutos-retrograde/

As ever, I don't follow these things knowingly. I stumbled upon this and in retrospective the first month has absolutely been following this song and dance.
Besides, these are all nice things and suggestions anyway, so why not.

The article's not very long, so if you've got a minute, look through it.
If anything is of use, we all get a point.
If not, no harm done.

Happy retrograde. 
M.


Me and E. spending a Monday night. Spanish one took the shot. Happy homeland times, one and all.

move

The pretty one said, something along the lines of, this is what our bodies really want to do when we meet that someone special.
This video is just beautiful.
And Sigur Ros melts my soul.
Every time.

Enjoy.
What love is like.

Yours truly.
M.

all in

All Stephanie.
Adidas.

This is so self-explanatory.

dance
dance
dance
dance

With love.
M.

Earth Day

Yesterday was Earth Day, and I walked my little balls off.
No, like, really.
I walked a crazy amount yesterday.

In town, with some pastry, for a while.
Then kind of, late afternoon, for a long time. I walked into town, from home, took like an hour and a bit.
And then more just before going to bed.
A lot of walking.

But it was super nice, and very therapeutic. Me and Peter Gabriel had a marvellous time.
I mean, really.
Next time I have anything to solve, at all, or release or just get over, that is what I need to do.
Have comfy footwear, have Peter Gabriel in my little earholes and walk, walk, walk.
Besides, the weather was divine.
And the sun was setting.

And I enjoy finding unexpected places or see something really beautiful, or just striking.
This photo does not do it justice, but this sunset was amazing.
Even though it's some crappy parking lot that I have never even properly looked at.

Perpetual quest for balance.
I've always said this, always, for yeeears. And that has always been the thing.
And now I was dealt a superb card to test everything that I think I know.

But spring is here.
And beauty is all over the place.

So go explore.
M.

experience, my darling

Okay, I feel like I should write a semi-conclusive post about the experiences I've had of late.
There's so much stuff that I think I'm already starting to forget.
And I don't write this up anywhere.

So, where do we start.


Prince Rama and the birthday of the Cinema "Friendship", yesterday.
And the girls being super.
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive. Thankyou, A.
Make my systems blow.
New friends and people, S. and K. and E. a little.
And going out with K, and V.
RHIZOME.
Mutantants.
Tallinn Music Week in Von Krahl.
And Inga Copeland in Von Krahl - the music music music

Spanish one's truth time hitting the nail
on the head

Dance more
Dance
so much dancing lately

Easter service singing

Skype conference talking.
More safety in my own decisions

Della Reese and my ringtone "Come on a my house".
Best decision ever
ever

And one of the songs K sent me just making me get up, around 1am, and spending 6 minutes upside down. Mostly in downward dog, leg up, and trying to get back to my friend, supported headstand.
Why
no one knows
And Hallelujah emerging.
Last time I listened to that, 2nd of September 2006.
And it came back last night
Like I told myself not to listen to it unless I'm home.

Dying my hair dark
Lifting heavy stuff
Warrior time

Rhizome Rave
And new people, new people

And K and M-L.
Just, YES.
YES
And dancing with A.
The dancing

And whiskey shots and freedom

And my Guru cousin's lectures and seminars.
New insight
And logical insight
Techniques and things to do, how to get rid of the unwanted.
And everything to do with his place, Lilleoru.
Flowervalley

Looking for things to fan my flames.

The greedy kid being not greedy.
Change yourself and the world around you will change.



In conclusion.
The not-so-subtle message:

WELCOME
TO
THE
NEW
AGE

I Give Thanks.
M.


Ps, I bet I'll read this back in some time, and not understand one. single. thing.
Whatever.

And below, my trusty, trusty, trusty, trusty Hamsa.

sun

There's just this super ghetto looking lot of nothing behind our apartment block.
But it gets real pretty sunsets and sunrises. 

So I'm super pleased they are yet to fill it with all-sorts of buildings, but for now, it just is.

Sunsets.
M.

bare bones

I don't like Rihanna's image and I don't like the vast majority of her music.
This, however, is not in that category, at all.
On the contrary.

I threw my hands in the air I said show me something

Something in the way you move.
M.

freaking out

Today is Sunday. I'm leaving on Wednesday.
I am freaking out.

In other news, we had another super fun day today. (Yesterday consisted of good lunch and gaming at my old friend's house.)
We started off being really useful and got stuff done. Then went for some coffee. Came home, went for bowling (I won, yay!) And then came home to eat stuff in our den (yes, we built a den yesterday) and watch BAFTAs.

And now I've realised that when I wake up tomorrow, it will be "I'm moving the day after tomorrow" which is freaking me out.

The massive saving grace of this evening is the fact that J. decided to give me her jumper that says "YAY!" on it, which I think is pretty fitting. And apparently it works really well in either inappropriate or really stupidly stupid situations, or just in a crap mood.
And I love this jumper.

Happy Monday morning that's around the corner. 
M.

becks

It's just, I could watch him run, just watch him run, topless, all day, every day.


And as an effect of those ads I want to wear his "bodywear". It's for men, whatever. Don't care.

Thanks, H&M.
Thanks, Guy Ritchie.
And most of all, thank you, Becks.

Yes.
M.

10,000

Thanks for the pageviews, guys!

I hope my moving drama is not too boring, and I hope to lighten up soon.

Lots of looove.
M.

And to celebrate, here's a photo of my 3 rolls of bubblewrap and 2 rolls of tape. Yayy!

move

This is just absolutely mesmerising.
I think I've spent alltogether 30 minutes, all through the day, staring at this.

Move.
M.