2012

About time for a recap.
I've been putting this off for a while, but here goes.

A good work year. When I'm doing the projects and concerts I never consider that I'm working necessarily. I enjoy it so much, and in that sense I'm hugely privileged to have a "job" like that. That I get to sing. But then in retrospective I always call it working.
So here goes. A good work year. January kicked off with a double portion of Opera Holloway. Händel and "Samson" first, and then Massenet and "Cinderella" second. Then there was the April tour which was such an awesome, ambitious project. It was my baby. I had never conceived a concert tour idea on my own, beginning to end. So it meant a lot. Then in February I found Sue, and started working with her. Then in July I had the insane summer tour, 22 concerts, in 25 days. Which was the most amazing learning opportunity. It helped me grow in the right direction so so much, and I'm so grateful for it. Then August was for Abingdon, September had the birthday celebration concert of a renowned pianist, in Talllinn. And December, again tour time.
2012 was amazing for travels. Apart from the bi-country lifestyle, I went to Switzerland in May to see A. Then there was August and Hrvatska, via Finland. And then 2 mini-trips to Stockholm, for some Scandinavian chaos and mayhem.
2012 was a good year for friends. I gained some new ones that I'm really grateful for. And saw some old ones I hadn't for a while.

2012 was a great great year for me. Just on some new found personal level, 2012 was good for me. I feel like I started thinking, actually thinking about what I was doing, and that I took responsibility for my decisions. For once, I didn't just carry on going, and I didn't think of what someone else expected of me. I took my chances and grew from my setbacks.
I think in a few decades I'll look back on this year just gone and really understand just how significant it was. I feel better than I used to, more at peace, more balanced and more grounded.
And I feel like I'm really starting to enjoy being me.
2012 also marked the beginning of my transition towards a healthier life, physically, mentally, emotionally - in every possible way. I've worked through some of my crap and I feel like I'm truly finally moving in the right direction.
It's also the year when I realised I can stop justifying. If I'm happy with what I'm doing, or what I look like, or what I'm doing with my days, then so be it. And that is all the justifying I will ever need to do.

I'm grateful for a good year and for having the amazing people in my life, my lovely lovely friends, my family and my cat, of course. Thank you for being there for me through the more or less interesting times. Thank you for having good advice and being the best motivation/inspiration. Thank you for pushing me when I'm stuck, or guiding me when I'm lost.
Thank you for a great year.
And let's make this one even better.

Here's to tuning in.
Bye-bye, 2012.
M.

l'été

And as usual, I miss the summer.
But it's coming.

Slowly, but surely, it will come.
M.

as soon as

First of all, can I just say, how ecstatic I am that I have time to blog.
This started out a long time ago as just a one-post-every-few-months. A few of us left the country, either to study somewhere else, or for a year abroad, and the easiest thing to keep a finger on the pulse with all these now-international friends was blogs.
And then when I ran into a tricky patch I stopped completely. It cracks me up, seriously. There are like, 6-7 month holes in my blogging, back in the day. This seems so silly now.
I think I stopped because I was too tired or too sad to post "all the happy things". I mean, what? Why should I be impressing anyone with this anyway? Seems so silly.
So therefore I now use this space to think out loud. I like being alone, thinking on my own, and this is a superb way of recording this process.

So therefore, I'm so pleased about this.
Thank you for reading. I hope I don't pour too much develop-and-grow-in-yourself stuff on you.

Back to the post.

As soon as summer comes, and I will visit A. in STHLM, or when she's in HEL on her island, THIS is happening.
And oh my oh my, I'm already looking forward to it.
As soon as I get my ass over the January line it feels like spring is creeping (for me). And if spring is creeping, I start making summer plans.
And this is one of them.

Rowing boats. Why do I love thee so.
M.

repeat

I think this is the first time I'm going to re-post something.
But I was going through some old posts, and this just popped up, and cheered me up.
Not that I particularly needed cheering up even.
It was just there, and so right. And I read it through, and decided I must re-post this.

With love.
M.



As long as there is the sea. The beautiful, beautiful, unforgettable, indescribable, beautiful sea. 
As long as there is sauce to talk about. Plenty of sauce.
As long as we have our health. 
As long as we will not say “no” to everything the universe has got to offer. 
As long as there is all this, it simply must be okay.



As long as there are iced coffees down by the harbour.
As long as there is someone to talk to.
As long as the summers will come again.
As long as there are books, and music.
As long as there's sand in your shoes and a map.
As long as there champagne and skinny dips.
As long as there is CHANCE, for whatever.
As long as there is room to breath and room to change.
As long as there are roots.
As long as there is strength to keep feeling.
The Devil (still) does not play fair.
But if we take a chance every now and then, we might throw him off. M.