ce soir

Tonight literally just hammered, and I mean, HAMMERED-hammered-hammered in, the message from last night.
Like, violently, hammered, screwed it in, nuts and bolts and all the hardware.

The Doing.

It's getting to a point where this is making me so frustrated.
This idea, this idea of not doing.

Apparently I've got pretty eyes.
That was really nice.

Theatre.
And life, and art.
And thoughts.

And competing.
And understanding.
And accepting.
And all the things.
All of them.

I just want to be what I see and know I can be.
Because of the deafening mundane-ness.

My problem has been - solo in the sandbox.
Well then f*ck me - don't be?!

Don't waste the partners.
Seriously.
Seriously.
Seriously.

Learn, and evolve.
And make smart analytical decisions, please.
Reason, and discover.


Empty sandbox or fascinating sandbox?
Surely this is what moves me, improves me, challenges me.
Tantalises, tickles and teases.
Seriously.
Surely?

What do I choose?

One frustrated cat.


In other news, tonight was so awesome.
Here's a photo from the set.
Super.
The future is now.


And I'm not going to wish love and light.
I'm going to wish, the productivity to make yourself shine.
Shine, shine, shine.

Yours truly.
M.

lonely-cat time

Someone's having a PROPER party somewhere in our apartment building.
IT'S SO COOL!
One of them has a guitar and they are singing soooo many well known folky songs.

And so it's Friday night..

And UGH.
Whatever.

I was gonna write about stuff, but now I'm just over it.

sad
sad
sad
sad
sad
sad
sad
sad

Wtf.
For no reason.
So fun.

But as always, I'm working on it, roots up, to really get rid of it.
And as always it's a lack of personal TLC time.
Always is.
And the response is always to turn to external fire extinguishers, but I'm really trying.


So instead, here's a photo of my breakfast this morning with the Spanish one.
She's been gone about a second and I really miss her. Ridic.
We so did not finish our chats today.

Her's is the omelette, mine's the pancake (with fresh strawberry jam, not ketchup).



The gig tonight was another full house.
On our way to TLN I really thought I was gonna go into town, with the Pisces-2.
But then I got a bad case of a guilty conscience - gig tomorrow, should rest, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah
blah
blah
blah
blah

Bottomline.
Now I'm home, thinking WHERE IS MY PARTY.
Where are the people I want to see?
UGH.

Anyway.

The point is.
It's a messy night.

They keep getting sparser and sparser.

And I really, really wish one day they'll stop coming.

WHEREISMYPARTY.

F_k YOU, conscience.
M.

reading list

...from Rachel Brathen.
If you don't know her, go check her out.
http://www.rachelbrathen.com/

Anyway.
A super short reading list I plan to come back to after Finland and Midsommar.
Law of Attraction by Esther Hicks.
And also some Eckhart Tolle. I think this has been a long time coming.

I hope I get along well with these books.
I want some reading to really, really shake my brain.

And it's also time to update the blog appearance once more.
This always means a time to get back to writing and drawing and doing creative things a lot more.
Cause it annoys me to no end when I realise that I've been in a non-creative hole for a bit.

Oh, also, I realised the tour is starting soon so I want to start practising the piano, ready to utilise the grand pianos in the concert places.
So excited. For this.
Seriously.

And so here I am, downloading some music, drinking tea, and getting ready for my Fin-dventure a la Midsommar-madness.
Packing list also includes:
Swimsuit (for the forest lake YES)
Drawing pad (I need to sharpen dem pencils)
"Women who run with the wolves" (Recommend strongly)
And of course, in true Nordic style, mosquito repellent.

Have a super awesome weekend everyone.
I plan to return on Monday night having spent time drawing, swimming, breathing, meditating, probably skipping over some meadows, and just resting. Fingers crossed I get to row a boat. That would simply be nothing short of ideal.

So.
Not to underestimate the weekend ahead.
Not only is it the turning point in the year, and the seasons, plus it should also be some crazy moon situation, as I've heard.
Think good thoughts.
The shortest night of the year is so good for this.
And those Nordic ones reading this, go into a forest and see what's going on.
I mean, there's a reason our ancestors did that. Go find your luck and good fortune.
Spend some nature time. Get muddy and dewy and wet.

HAPPY SOLSTICE.
I'll leave you with Lana.

Peace.
M.

turn

So.
turning points in life
turn right or turn wrong
again

Take the risks, my darlings.
Take your risks.
Take them.
Seriously, take them.

This is the kind of night this is.
With thunder and lightning.
Fresh energy, fresh ideas, and fresh courage.

Could-have-schmould-have.
M.

gap

Whenever there's a gap in my blogging I can tell (and probably so can you) that it's a tricky patch.
But my tricky patches used to last months, now it's a few days - YAY!
I award myself a point.

But the main thing is that I'm moving, and things are moving.
And as opposed to digging myself into a deeper hole (which we all love doing), I'm getting myself out of it.
With the help of some trusty trusty, trusty friends.
Shout-outs from the heart go out to:
(in alphabetical order)
A.
E.

the Pretty one.
And last, but so not absolutely no-frikkin'-way last, the Spanish one.

Thank you.
I know I've said this to you each, at random times, but it's true.
And I don't expect you to help me so I'd thank you and fall over in gratitude, but I am, so truly grateful.
Because without friends like you I would never in a trillion years have the courage to do or decide the way I've decided. (So cryptic, ha!)

So.
Happy Saturday to all of you.
I'm off to see some friends.

With love.
As always.
M.

effort?

First of all - welcome to the table, Canada and Italy!
And thank you for reading.

So.
My question is.
Where does our effort go?

That's all.
There's no point in even expanding this.
All I want to ask is, where do we direct our daily effort?

Opportunities.
M.