enough

How gracefully we let go of the things that are not meant for us.

Enough, child. Enough now.

Really, honestly - enough.
M.

prince rama

This is insane(-ly good).

New age glitter madness from Brooklyn.
I mean, just listen to this song.
This makes me want to dance on a meadow, naked and glittery.
With horses, at dawn.
And I don't know.
Flowers in my hair.

And I mean, really do that.
Really do that.

Prince Rama - "So Destroyed".

DANCE YOUR SOUL OUT.
M.

pink

Pink wine and pink whatever.
Good food and great company.
And great conversation.

The cat's still struggling and I'm still worrying. And trying not to.

Fingers crossed for more sleep than 49 minutes last night.
Send all your love to my cat, please, please.

Thanks.

Pink.
M.

today

And today my lighter brown hair with ginger ends is going!
I'm going to the Spaniards now to dye some hair. I'll do hers, she'll do mine.

And the ginger ends will be no longer.
Not till summer at least.
I need some contrast around my face.

Somehow this makes me feel like I'm battling the elongated winter better.
We shall see in a few hours - fingers crossed I'll emerge a new warrior lol-cat wolf.

Have a happy Saturday!
M.

phantom

And they arrived.

The "Phantom of the Opera" audition music is in my inbox and I'm literally DYING. Like, DYING.
With excitement and I don't even know what!?

Total
oh
em
gee


I will write more about this later.
For now, I'm just gonna repeat.

OH
EM
GEE

And A's arriving tomorrow morning.
And I just finished a loooad of macarons with dad+Mrs.

OH

EM

GEE



Devil doesn't play fair. 
M.


Like I'm going to diiiiieee with excitemeeenntnttttntntntnnntntnt. (Hello, audition! Thine ass will be kicked. Please, wish me steady nerves and the rest!)

5 years of blog

Happy birthday, my blog!

5 years ago on the 19th of February I wrote my first blog post on this address.
And it was so very different.

The first post was called "raindrops and moonlight", and back then I was writing in Estonian.
I was feeling unwell and reading some Estonian poetry.
Not very different, apart from just how melancholic the tone is. Just crazy, imagining thinking like this now.
I'm ecstatic to realise that some of the things I really yearned for back then, I've reached by now. Kudos, self.
And I was eating this chocolate. I think dad sent it from home.
And I was looking forward to the arrival of spring.

So some things never change.
M.

nest

This is too crowded with things for me, but for about 8 hours I would like to be in this room.
Have some tea, eat some noodles. Burn some incense, and smoke some shisha, with apple tobacco, please.
And think some thoughts, and draw.

Crowded room.
M.

va-va-voom!

If you want it, I'm gonna be Va-Va-Voom.
I like "too much".

M.

adventure (again)

I think adventures are everywhere to be found. You don't have to be a pirate or a mountaineer to go on an adventure. Adventures just happen when you have the right mindset, the "Yes, to adventures!" mindset.
Reasons I want to go to Stockholm again.
Adventures.

I just want to go on adventures all the time.
M.

new

No-energy-Maria here.

New energy.
Where to get energy from.
Nutrition, obviously. Good nutrition.
Exercise. All the happy-hormones and stuff make you feel better and more alert (maybe not straight after).
(Also worth mentioning that I've had around 0.5% bothered-ness to do any form of moving/working out lately. Thinking I'll "save energy". Bulls*it. I'm just being lazy. I'd feel so much better over-all.)
Then, like, new hair, I think, gives energy, in a way. Or at least changing my hair does have a very positive effect on me.
I think I might cut it. Not off-off, but definitely shorter. Medium-length, rather than long.

And maybe dye it. Anything to shake my out of this rather apathetic state.

Explanation.

Packing.
Anyone who hasn't had to move, I mean, really move, does not know how exhausting this is. Not like, oh dear, boo hoo, you have to put stuff in boxes, cry about it. But rather, you have to sort through the things. Deciding whether this goes, that stays, sifting through your life.
Not the top of my list, if I'm honest. It's just a tiring process. I never got it, before I had to move out of my boarding house. Jesus.

So therefore, project. More energy! Woo! I'm not lethargic, or sluggish as a person, so periods of this piss me off. Okay, sometimes they mean I need more sleep, or more this, or more that, at the moment it is simply a matter of "Work out a gameplan to get more energy wooo and stop moaning wooo!"

I just googled it.
A 3-minute sing-a-long dance session. (Quite like this idea)
Snacking and chocolate. (Haven't done enough of that today. This might be low bloodsugar, you know?)
Playing. (I like this. Playing. Like, an online-scrabble session if others are out.)
Getting more organised. (I hear you, sister, from my pile of crap.)
Listen to tunes. (I need some more of those tomorrow, thanks.)
Dress up. (I might pack tomorrow, wearing jeans and actual clothes, and do my make-up.)

Okay, so I will do all of these things tomorrow.
For now, I've played some really cute games online (www.orisinal.com) and had some chocolate.
And changed my Google background.

And I've decided to post a few photos, of course.
The thumbs up is for all of you who are in a similar state right now. Of just, No, thanks, life.
Thumbs up, because crap-ness passes.
Then there's one of me and my naked Ryan Gos pillow. Birthday present, oh yes. I highly highly highly recommend you all get one. It solves many many issues.
And then the last one is of my chilli hot chocolate, and a peanut butter and banana sandwich on toasted rye bread with dark chocolate sprinkles. My soul needs it.

Lots of un-stressed love to all of you.
M.

♥

Fresh flowers, on someone's tumblr.
Days and nights.
M.

OH, and A. came out with some really interesting stuff today.
Internal-external.
Stuck, or weighed down.

Alex Clare

Hummingbird.

Hovering-hovering.

It's marvellous. And I mean, like marvellous-marvellous. (By "it", I mean this song, and the whole album, with very few exceptions.)
His voice, and the lyrics. And just this atmosphere.
Marvellous. (This one is just for emphasis and good measure.)
And he lives like around the corner from us (this has no relevance...but you know, trivia)

don't fly away
M.

bon

A DIFFERENT LIFE

CRAVING

I have a craving.
It's for "eating brunch in company".

 

 

 

to my beloved summer

This has been a truly inspired Wednesday. (half-irony)

I went to see a new production of "Faust" at the Estonian National today. It was good. I loved the production/staging and the way they had played with the shift in action when Satan comes along. As it should be. I mean, that is just a mental turn of affairs in itself? Satan, physically, turns up. Against all odds. And I think there are no other ways of seeing it, really.. Satan is trouble, and chaos. (In the operatic, and literary sense.) Otherwise Satan could/would be something else. Whatev.
As an aftermath I did listen to about 3-4 hours of Natalie Dessay and felt great about the universe.

Then Wednesday stopped being inspired, and started being -- this.

I've been ploughing through home magazines. I'm riding the high so much. I want to have a nest, my own "box" if that's all it is. But I want it. And I want to put all my crap in it. And it will be my crap. And I will invite someone over for tea.
Or someone over for instant noodles because I might not yet have a kitchen.
Or give someone a place to stay after a night out when they can't find a cab.
Or just a place to come and borrow sugar.
Or a hairbrush.
Or some music.
Or some DVDs.
Or borrow socks.
Or a dress for going out.
Or whatever the hell one might need, at any given point in time.
Or come cry.
Or come tell ridiculous stories from the night before.
Or just for some wine, and a big fat catch-up.
Or just come do a whole load of absolute-whatever.

And it shall be (so) glorious.

Today was the day I realised summer was gone for good. Not that the weather's been cheating or anything - it's proper autumn. It's just my extended holiday has kept me somewhat under the idea - not idea necessarily, rather the feeling - that summer was still here, or some of the holiday-ness of it all.
But then this inspired Wednesday for some reason carried with it the knowledge that it was over. Officially. My summer of 2012 is finito. Byyyeee!

And it has been great.
And I think it's going to carry some of its wonderfulness into the 2012/13 season. Or at least I've really got my fingers crossed for that.
But dear, oh dear, it's been wonderful.

So, I would like to take this tiny second to thank all the [insert word that means makes one jump up and down a little in sincere, unspoilt joy] people who've been around at some point or another this summer. Cause it was great. Simple as.
You've made me laugh, or (very) happy, or just given me some of that everything-is-so-awesome-actually type-of-contentment feeling, or made me feel in general, or made me act like a true idiot, which usually is the absolute best of it all.


I took this picture (below) yesterday. And yesterday was fantastic.
Thank you, summer.
I'll see you again next year.
I will miss you.
You have been so good to me this year, and you will forever be my favourite.

With love and gratitude,
Yours
M.

LES FLEURS