iggy

work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work

So fierce.
M.

1:44am visuals

picnic

On Saturday, we had a picnic outdoors.
Me, dad and the Mrs.
We got some pizza, and a thermos with green tea/Earl Grey infusion.
And it was sunny and over-all a lovely idea.

We had two pizzas: one with added blue cheese and pineapple which is like my childhood favourite. And then one with all the spicy stuff.

Also, I've never really been on a nice sunny skiing holiday and this just felt so so much like a fit time at some after-ski place. So I suddenly found myself battling serious feelings about having a ski trip.

Seriously. Yay, for winter picnics.

Have a winter picnic.
M.

today

Today is a REALLY weird day.
Two simple reasons.
First of all, my cat's got some tooth drama, but to the extent that he's gonna have surgery today.
Those of you who might not know this, I love my cat. But not like, awwwwwwwwwwwwww ohhh cat baby. No. I mean, this cat is a ghetto blaster boss man. The last level boss. He runs the mafia, runs the town and he secretly runs your life.
Hence, I respect this kitty a whole bunch.

And because of this surgery he is not allowed to eat the entire day.
Now then.
My cat lives for food.
He eats anything from raisins to beef jerky and all the cat stuff in between.
And all I'm allowed to give him for 8 hours is water.
And I'm trying not to worry about the surgery.

Secondly.
I've got this conference thing coming up in a few hours.
It's for this school in Tallinn who host a conference via Skype, so they get all sorts of people around the world to encourage and inspire students, to study abroad, or just to follow their path, or choose a new one.
And I'm one of the people talking today.

So these two paired together make this day very, very weird.

Hooray for weird.
M.

don't get greedy, kid

It is interesting how even the most seemingly positive things can draw out some negative patterns.
To be more exact.

This past week was absolutely spectacular.
I don't know what exactly I decided and when, but paired with Tuesday night, when I actually realised how ridiculously hindering my thought patterns were, something shifted.
And I was sliding on that wave for about 72 marvellous hours, when it was nothing short of audible how things were just somehow falling into place.
Sounds super, right?

It is, and was.
However.
An interesting side effect is that this gets almost addictive.
And so I decided to take a few days to calm down and prepare for the beginning of the week.
But I don't know. Now it's just a bit off.
Like, I got so used to "people" that now I'm a little --what? A little something.

So, in conclusion.
Don't be greedy, kid.

I suck at balance.
Always have.
And this same go-go-go-go-more-more-more-more-more-more-MORE-NOW thing got me to the point where I was in October, i.e. didn't want to do anything, at all.
This dance with everything and nothing.

Balance.
All of this is just a balancing act.
And what do you do if you don't know how to do something?
LEARN.

So I shall learn balance.

Greedy, greedy child.
M.

as you are

Come 
as you are.
as you were.
As you want to be.

I don't know and maybe never will know why these words mean so much to me.
Or what they mean exactly.
But hey, maybe I won't know and don't need to know.
Bottomline is they really mean something.
Really mean something to me.

So hey.
Whatever.

Come as you are.
And I will always accept you and not judge you and love you like you are.
Come as you are, as you were.
Come as you want to be.
I don't want you to be anything, I just want you to be.
So come as you are.
And I'll take you in, just the way you want to be.

Come
as
you
are.

Always.
M.

fan the fire

This is just so true, and also something we don't often think about.
We're not alone in whatever we do.
We are always surrounded by the people we choose to be surrounded by.
Not only when they are actually present around us, but these people never truly leave us, by choice.
Our own choice.
They are there, in the back of our minds and in the corners of our heart.

So choose wisely.
Because we are never truly alone.
And even if and when we do feel so utterly alone and lost, maybe it would be time to look at the people who surround you.
Who you have chosen to surround you.

Because nothing is external, and nothing is happening TO you (okay, let's stick this at 99%).
Most of the stuff in our lives including the negative and the emotional and the baggage and the thought patterns, all of it, is so open for change.
And that, of course, lies with us.

We need people to fan our flame.
Otherwise the flame will go out.
And keeping your flame alive all by yourself is nearly impossible.
Anyone who has gone camping knows this.
So apply the same thing in life.
We need people to fan our flame.

So choose very wisely.

Who fan your flames.
M.