break

So.

Where am I up to so far.

Spring is here.
And I plan to have May (and June definitely as well) as months where I don't worry about "the future". The ever elusive entity.

Months where I let the beginning of this year, all this so far, sink in, slowly and softly, steadily, and calmly.
Just. sink. in.
And this plan is solid.

I want to calm down.
I want to not-stress and I want to not-worry.


There's this idea swimming around at the moment of enrolling at the Academy here.
I wasn't sure at first but I'm really really warming to this idea.
I went out last night with Keiu, to this old shipyard, where house music legend Marshall Jefferson was hitting the beats.
The whole place looked amazing and the crowd was really excellent.
Really a different side of Tallinn and new to me.
And as I was there, dancing away, I thought of the Academy and all these other things I could do in Estonia.
And suddenly it just felt so right, and awesome, and excellent.
I've had my heart set on staying home for some time now, but I haven't really understood....the hows and whys and wheres and you know. The rest of it.
And now I feel like Reason has caught up with Intuition.
Welcome onboard, son!



I want to enjoy the fact that I'm alive, I want to enjoy that I have this mind and spirit and body, and I want to enjoy that I'm home and it's spring.

I want my insides to feel happy.

That's all.

Oh, and I want this dress below.
Thankxxx.

Peace out, all your lovely people.
Follow your own measures of right and wrong.
Necessary and unneccesary.
And when something doesn't feel right - DON'T DO IT.
When something is giving you crazzyyy fear or panic - DON'T DO IT.
Just stop for a bit, figure out what is causing you all this pain and suffering, and then carry on.
There is no deadline, no opinion or no anything more important and valuable than You and your health and your well-being.
Keep your heart strong, keep your heart happy and the rest will work itself out.
But with a fearful heart, with a sad heart you cannot get to the right things anyway.
Stop jumping over your own shadow.

Here's some photos of Slavic babes.

Love, always.
Yours truly.
M.

tour over

Hello, kitkats!

So.

Finished the tour. 

And now we're onto Bigger Things.

So. 

I'm making a plan.

That's what's happening.

I will elaborate more, soon, and write something more interesting.

But I can say.

That, accept the good you're given.

Don't get scared.

Fear is an illusion, to quote the other Pisces to my own Pisces.

Fear is just there to mark the beginning of the Interesting Zone.

You get what you give.

Life is most definitely not happening to you - life is responding to you.

So think twice before you mess with your own karma.

Think kind, act kind and accept the Kind you're given in return.

This is what I believe in and what I try to live by every day.

With love.

Yours truly.

M.

this week

This week has been super busy and the countdown to HONG KONG has now shrunk down to 10 days!

When did this happen!

I meet Asia, in less than 2 weeks.
What an absolutely strange concept.

I don't know why, but I stilllll cannot even begin to understand just HOW huge this adventure is going to be!
So strange!
I really want to start UNDERSTANDING this, noww!

(So sorry for the excessive caps-lock-ing.)

I mean, really.
Usually I'm almost climbing walls with all the excitement when A. and I take on Stockholm.
So now, when we're faced with her homeground HK, I'm like struck dumb.

Anyway.
This week has been super busy.
Got some nice work things done, and seen some lovely friends.
Last night went out for a little while and then another clothes sale today.

The rest of today was just for resting, on my ass, and mostly horizontal.
Tomorrow marks the all-systems-go moment, once more.
Before official nap-time it's most definitely a time to plan tomorrow.

So, for now, I hope you have a lovely evening.
And I have a feeling good things are coming our way.

With love, and light.
Yours truly.
M.


This was for an educational concert program we're doing this season - yet to see how many schools.
Fingers crossed!


The other day I was wearing this t-shirt E. got me for my 16th birthday.
It's says MARIAQ on the back, and on the front a tiny picture of my favourite energy drink back then.
(I used to get to school super early, and I didn't like coffee back then!)


Outdoor Swan Lake next to the Opera House, with 100 swans.


Sung a little at my old school's autumn concert in the Nokia concert hall in Tallinn.
That was a first for me so it was super exciting!
Loved the dressing room and ID-card.






Also, this week marked my return to the gym, YES.


Got this coat at this big vintage festival like a month ago.
And today it earnt me a most devoted 5-year-old admirer on the bus.
No, seriously.
I think he thought I was an actual cat.

picnic

On Saturday, we had a picnic outdoors.
Me, dad and the Mrs.
We got some pizza, and a thermos with green tea/Earl Grey infusion.
And it was sunny and over-all a lovely idea.

We had two pizzas: one with added blue cheese and pineapple which is like my childhood favourite. And then one with all the spicy stuff.

Also, I've never really been on a nice sunny skiing holiday and this just felt so so much like a fit time at some after-ski place. So I suddenly found myself battling serious feelings about having a ski trip.

Seriously. Yay, for winter picnics.

Have a winter picnic.
M.

cinematography

Buzkashi boys.

Link to the trailer.
http://vimeo.com/34778382

I just love films.
Films about something else.

Buzkashi.
M.

jenna

"This is just, something." (As described by A. But I really really agree.)

Jenna Marbles is known for her pretty brilliant Youtube channel, where she posts a video every Wednesday, about anything really, anything that she fancies.
She's always absolutely hilarious, and looks so positively full of life.
And this week her video was something very different.

Even if you don't follow her channel on Youtube, and you have 8 minutes, watch this.
I think it's worth a watch.
And a nice idea in itself.

Draw your life.
M.

desk

i have never ever wanted a desk in my whole life.
in my whole, whole, whole life.

like
where has this come from?

Anyway.
I want a desk, and the clarity, and a pencil pot.
Thanks.

Gimmeadesk.
M.

noisy

Self-explanatory.

Look at some trees, look at some clouds.
Spring is coming, so ground yourself in whatever makes you feel peaceful.

I'm planning everything on Monday.
And that's my plan for now.

Noisy-noisy.
M.

hey guys

Today is Nanny-day!
My nephew is getting here soon and my desire to be an awesome auntie always kicks in.
I don't know what we're going to do yet, but I sure know he's gonna have fun!

Also, any day when it appears that I have a lot of hair on my head is automatically a good day.

And so, I'm gonna turn the Nanny wheel and see what I come up with.
And I started some interesting drafts late last night which I plan to finish today.

PS, had a very unexpected dream. You know when someone arrives in your dream and you wake up in the morning going "WHERE did you come from?" But it was a nice dream so no harm done.

With love.
M.

daily reminder

Just a little daily reminder.
Especially now that spring is coming, and the air is so different and fresh and new.

It's so tempting to run with the spring madness, which of course I plan to do, but sometimes it's nicer to stop and breathe.

Happy Saturday!

Always.
M.

morning

Good Sunday morning-ish time, ladies and gentlemen, and all your fabulous pets and whoever!

So today I'm planning to make up on the packing scale for yesterdays fun-day. Not that today won't be a fun-day, I'm sure it will, just home-fun.
A's gone into town to see people, J. is getting ready for lunch with parents, so it's just me with my porridge and Vit C drink, and Classic FM.

London's busy, you know.
There's just a time and place for everything, and a time for someone to enjoy whatever. Bottomline - things vary. Millions and millions of variables in every little thing we do, all the time.
And my time here is done. I'm so glad, again, that I've had the balls to look this fact in the face and act on it. So many people never tire of London, so so many people never tire of the place where they live, but also, so so many people are just too convenient to look the fact in the face that there is another place where they would be much, much happier. What this place is for me is yet unknown. I'm just going to Tallinn to recharge, breathe in, breathe out, anchor for a while, and then figure out where and why I'm going.
All in good time.

For now, I must make a loooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg list of people, and places, and sights, and sounds, and actual things I want to take with me from London.
September 2006, this was a long time ago.

But for now, have a lovely morning, or if you're in a different timezone ahead of me then have a lovely afternoon, or if you're in a timezone behind me, I hope you're still sleeping.

Packing-mania.
M.

(blank sheet)

annoying

Okay.
I'm gonna stop being a stroppy asshole of a leftover-teenage now. And get the fuck over it.
Or at least explain it.

So, the reason I'm so annoyed.

A lot of things are shifting right now and it's really confusing the f_ck out of me.
I'm the kind of person who likes keeping a finger on the pulse of things, in my life. Because I don't have a manager or a management to sort my things, I'm so involved with figuring out "where" things are going, what projects to undertake, how to do and what to do and who to do it with.
Which is all fine.
Point is.
A lot is changing, a lot is happening, a lot needs to be decided.

WHICH IS FINE.

But you know, when it's just so much at the same time.
And I'd like someone to tell me anything, just anything at all. Any advice as to how to do stuff.

So far this hasn't explained why I'm so angry at all..
I don't like being angry and not knowing why.
I'm angry cause I'm frustrated, I'm frustrated cause I can't know what stuff is going to be like in a month or so.
Tomorrow I'm gonna make a plan. Sing a concert.
And then after my final gig is done tomorrow, I'm going to remind myself of all the things that are awesome.
And get. some. clarity.

And it will all be fine.
M.